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Feeling insane


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Anyone on for years and started there taper in tolerance

And just feel absolutely insane all the time ?

I can’t take this much anymore. I feel so

Alone like I’m the only one that has this.

It’s like part of my brain is shut off.

Can’t do anything but lay down or smoke a cigg.

I think I have really bad damage to feel like this

All the time. I been on 16 years xan and it stopped

Working. Still have 1.5mg to taper. Was at 3.75

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I have it too. I can't even think. And when I try too, it's pure torture. Pretty fun when you also have OCD, and your brain wants to think all the time.

 

And I'm not even done tapering.

 

You're not alone in that. I hope it gets better for you soon. This is hell.

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Thanks for reply.

I feel like I’m loosing my mind all the time.

Been like this since beginning of taper.

This couldn’t be normal. Almost acute.

And I still have 1.5 mg xan to taper😭😭😭😭

I’ll never make it like this. I have ocd as well and

Feel I’ll go insane and never heal. It’s on going battle

In my brain all day. Severely depressed and lots of

Other mental sxs. I don’t know what to do.

If I was lower then I could understand. But this is

A high dose im still on.

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Thanks for reply.

I feel like I’m loosing my mind all the time.

Been like this since beginning of taper.

This couldn’t be normal. Almost acute.

And I still have 1.5 mg xan to taper😭😭😭😭

I’ll never make it like this. I have ocd as well and

Feel I’ll go insane and never heal. It’s on going battle

In my brain all day. Severely depressed and lots of

Other mental sxs. I don’t know what to do.

If I was lower then I could understand. But this is

A high dose im still on.

 

You are absolutely not insane, because you write in clear English, and you don't say anything abnormal. Quite the contrary.

 

We're just feeling that way, temporary.

 

The fact that you even reached 1.5 mg Xanax is really well done. I couldn't even get below 7.5 mg Lorazepam (that equivalent to 3.75 mg Xanax).

 

I crossed over to Diazepam. It was so easy to taper off the Lorazepam after that.

 

If I was you, I would consider crossing over to Diazepam. Just an idea.

 

And my second idea: Microtaper.

 

Xanax is one of the most potent drugs out there. It's no wonder that you're having a hard time!

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Dr will only do klon not Val.

I’m scared to switch. I have the klon.

Just haven’t switched. Scared cause I’m so unstable.

I was drinking before taper everynight for 1.5 years

Whiskey. I didn’t know any better. Stopped drinking

And that’s when I started to feel off and then started

Taper. Ever since then the benzo stopped working

And I feel so insane like at any moment I

Could just implode. Horrible bad thoughts

I’m stuck in a death spiral. Hair is coming out

Can’t work. Can’t cope. Lost like 50 lbs.

have terror spells. Never can be comfortable

Can’t laugh or smile or anything. No joy.

I think I’ve really messed up my brain.

Extreme tinnitus.

 

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hello hazzard ,  sorry you're feeling like this.  i know exactly how you feel.  in the begining of my taper i was the same.  didnt leave my room for 4 months and many emergency room visits.  landed in the phyc ward a time or two as well.  i updosed and when i felt normal again after some time, i restarted my taper at an extreamly slow pace.  i havnt had many issues since.  many of the 100's of symptoms are now gone.  i am just dealing with the original anxiety i was originally prescribed this garbage for.  and im finding new ways to deal with that.  some days are hard but for the most part , i actually feel better now than i have in 25 years.  ive been tapering for two years.  started at 2. mg klonopin  a day and im at .4mg a day.  so im at the end stage of my taper.  but im going even slower now.  i have 2 years of meds saved at the amount im taking now so i dont even care anymore how long this last part of the taper takes.  it may take another year to finish but thats ok with me.  theres a lot of info in the group and im sure you'll find what works for you.  best wishes in this journey and you are not alone.  jill
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I tied to go up in the beginning

But didn’t help.

I’m loosing my mind all the time.

Never feel clear headed. Does anyone ?

Idk anymore. I just know I can’t continue

Like this. Not with 1.5mg more of xan to

Taper. I know we aren’t supposed to feel

Good. But I feel so insane and terror/ anxiety

All the time. I don’t want to be another

Statistic. And that’s what’s on my mind so

Much.

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Go to a detox place that will do a 2 week taper with NAD therapy as part of it. Orange County Ca has places that do this.  I’ve seen good results. They taper you off with Ativan or Librium over two weeks plus infusions of NAD. Plus comfort meds. You can’t go on like this. Tapering is for people who are functional. Your not. Get into treatment.  30 day inpatient. Take a loan and do whatever you need to. I’ve seen it work many times.  NAD is the key.  Research it on YouTube. Trying to help you
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Go to a detox place that will do a 2 week taper with NAD therapy as part of it. Orange County Ca has places that do this.  I’ve seen good results. They taper you off with Ativan or Librium over two weeks plus infusions of NAD. Plus comfort meds. You can’t go on like this. Tapering is for people who are functional. Your not. Get into treatment.  30 day inpatient. Take a loan and do whatever you need to. I’ve seen it work many times.  NAD is the key.  Research it on YouTube. Trying to help you

 

Please adopt a non-prescriptive writing style. Relating your experiences, stating options, or posting suggestions of what other members might do are all welcome. However, advising members of what they should or must do is against the ethos of the BenzoBuddies Community. Nor should you attempt to 'diagnose' medical problems or suggest medical treatments to other members. This policy also applies to members with medical qualifications. A more detailed explanation of this policy can be found in our Guidelines Regarding the Giving of Medical Advice document.

 

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I think he’s right. Maybe I should

At this point. Idk. All I know is

I’m loosing my mind. This couldn’t be normal.

Or maybe it is with someone who has severe

Brain damage.

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No, I don't think he's correct. That seems very dangerous. I don't think it worked for him either, because he's still on benzo's and having problems. Not trying to offend. 16 years of Xanax, the brain needs to heal. You can't do that in a month or whatever.

 

On the 23th of June you were still on 2.25. In 4 weeks time you went from 2.25 to 1.5. That's a drop of 0.75 mg Xanax, an equivalent of 15 mg Valium. That's a big drop in such a short time, also knowing that you were on Xanax for 16 years.

 

In my opinion you are going just way too fast. Slow down, is what my advice would be.

 

If you can't get your doctor to prescibe Valium to partly switch to it, you could consider changing docs. Something who is willing to work with you and understand you.

 

If that isn't an option, I would really suggest buying a precision scale, such as https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM, and start shaving off little bits of your medication.

 

Again, 16 years on high dose Xanax. I would have gone insane too with that kinds of speeds. I'm applauding you that you even got this far with those speeds.

 

I slowed down, and it got better (it just sucks now, but I'm in the final stage). Jill slowed down, and it got better. I would really suggest slowing down.

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Oh and lots of people are 'not functional' after being on these horrible drugs for so long. It's normal. So the words 'tapering is for people who are functional only' is rubbish in my opinion. Especially at the speeds you are going. You are allowed to feel horrible in the process of getting better.

 

Stabilize, slow down 🙂

 

My advice, not telling you what to do.

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Thanks. I must have mis wrote in other post.

I was at 1.5 mg in June and now at 1.25mg. I was

Originally on 3.5 mg and have tapered for 12 months

To 1.25. But I feel insane. And have constant anxiety and

Can’t cope at all with anything and dose don’t help.

Just sit and pace all day. And I been on trazadone

For years at high dose at night. And don’t forget the .25 of klon

Dr added 8 months ago as a helper. So I don’t know

What’s doing what anymore. My brain and cns are

Fried. I’ve never felt like this in my life.

Scared very scared.

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Thanks. I must have mis wrote in other post.

I was at 1.5 mg in June and now at 1.25mg. I was

Originally on 3.5 mg and have tapered for 12 months

To 1.25. But I feel insane. And have constant anxiety and

Can’t cope at all with anything and dose don’t help.

Just sit and pace all day. And I been on trazadone

For years at high dose at night. And don’t forget the .25 of klon

Dr added 8 months ago as a helper. So I don’t know

What’s doing what anymore. My brain and cns are

Fried. I’ve never felt like this in my life.

Scared very scared.

 

I don't understand klonopin as a helper. Isn't that drug just as potent as Xanax? Maybe someone else can chime in on that one.

 

I think you really should stabilize for a long time. Find a doctor who will prescribe Valium. Partly crossover (so not all at once). And then Micro taper.

 

Again, my advice 🙂

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I think he’s right. Maybe I should

At this point. Idk. All I know is

I’m loosing my mind. This couldn’t be normal.

Or maybe it is with someone who has severe

Brain damage.

 

I'm so sorry you are in such an acute state!!

I can totally relate to how you feel, like you want to go to sleep and not wake up...but that is not the way to go.

You are not insane, you are not permanently damaged, your brain will heal.

 

But I do think you should be cross tapering to Valium like it is done in the Ashton manual. https://www.benzoinfo.com/ashtonmanual/

The manual has detailed schedules for this ..The xanax is short acting and you have built a tolerance to it, so it's like you are on nothing.

The Valium is long acting and supposed to be much much easier to taper off of.

Can you work with a good Dr who will help you get on and follow a schedule?

I literally had to introduce my Doctor to this manual..but she was open and we are doing it together.

I know it is sooo hard to even think straight when we feel like this, but over time with the support of a Dr who believes in you, you can develop a more structured taper and that will make you feel less crazy. At least it has for me.

I'm still suffering, but I know I on a path that I have to follow and that helps when my mind is telling me I can't go on.

I hope anything I said helps, sending lots of care and support,

xJenny

 

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[96...]

So sorry you feel so bad, Hazzard,

 

yes I've been there... braindead, utter terror, hell and torture that defies descryption.

 

Yes a thousand fold to advise the Ashton Manual. Please read it and learn about how long specific Benzodiazepines work. Cross over to Valium, but this is a matter of certain finesse and might require you to start with a combination of your Benzo and Diazepam. I unfortunatly never crossed over from my Benzo Flurazepam (which has an even longer halflife than Diazepam).

 

This two week program? Don't do it! It's very, very dangerous. Not sure where you live, but my advice would be: read the Ashton Manual, devise a taperingschedule (I will tell a bit more about that) and find a doctor who believes you and is willing to help you wean properly off these nasty drugs.

 

About the speed of the taper: there are schedules from Ahton, but they are ment as an example. If you, at some point feel, reductions are intolerable, you can "cut and hold" or microtaper.

 

I think he’s right. Maybe I should

At this point. Idk. All I know is

I’m loosing my mind. This couldn’t be normal.

Or maybe it is with someone who has severe

Brain damage.

 

I'm so sorry you are in such an acute state!!

I can totally relate to how you feel, like you want to go to sleep and not wake up...but that is not the way to go.

You are not insane, you are not permanently damaged, your brain will heal.

 

But I do think you should be cross tapering to Valium like it is done in the Ashton manual. https://www.benzoinfo.com/ashtonmanual/

The manual has detailed schedules for this ..The xanax is short acting and you have built a tolerance to it, so it's like you are on nothing.

The Valium is long acting and supposed to be much much easier to taper off of.

Can you work with a good Dr who will help you get on and follow a schedule?

I literally had to introduce my Doctor to this manual..but she was open and we are doing it together.

I know it is sooo hard to even think straight when we feel like this, but over time with the support of a Dr who believes in you, you can develop a more structured taper and that will make you feel less crazy. At least it has for me.

I'm still suffering, but I know I on a path that I have to follow and that helps when my mind is telling me I can't go on.

I hope anything I said helps, sending lots of care and support,

xJenny

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