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Some of us dont heal.


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Some of us are functional and have normal withdrawl symtoms for any length of time weeks, months years they may be uncomfortable but most on here arent severly bedridden...

 

 

Then there is me and i know others on here with iatrogenic  brain injuries/nuerotoxicity wondering why we are under constant 24/7 suffer and inner torment and cant relate to most on here...its because our brains have been actually damaged and this is no longer your typical withdrawls.

 

I hate that i am one of those unlucky cases. I have deteriorated more and more each month unabke to do any tasks and barely get up to pee. its embarrassing and pathetic i have lost everything.

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Plad, reading your signature it looks like you are still in Acute. It may seem like you are damaged beyond repair, but you won't feel like this forever. It will get better
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I have neuropathy, Inner Akathisia, insomnia, dpdr that have only gotten worse since my injury. Those are just a few of my dozens and dozens of symtpoms. I was hopeful at first but only further deteriorated. I have been feeling this way since February. My last rescue dose was april....The only people i have spoken to who have struggled as much as i do are still not recovered
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I am a bit confused about your timeline.  Did you taper and take your last dose this year?  If so that is a pretty short time.  It sometimes takes 1, 2 or even 3 years to recover.  Sorry if I am getting your timeline wrong.  I do agree we have all been damaged.  I dont believe any of this is a typical ‘withdrawal’.  These drugs are awful!!!
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I am a bit confused about your timeline.  Did you taper and take your last dose this year?  If so that is a pretty short time.  It sometimes takes 1, 2 or even 3 years to recover.  Sorry if I am getting your timeline wrong.  I do agree we have all been damaged.  I dont believe any of this is a typical ‘withdrawal’.  These drugs are awful!!!

 

most arent 100% disabled. ..just have some discomfort but can "fake" not having a brain injury if they need to. for me i cry every single day gor 6 months now am in internal torment constantly and unable to take care of myself...thats not normal withdrawls...Its a terrifying reality..I have joined aome Facebook support groups in search of some hope from peoppe who are disabled like me and most are still suffering :(

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God bless anyone struggling like me this is impossible to explain to anyone that while looking physically heslthy that you are 100% disabled and in agony every waking second...going to be forced to be medicated soon and become worse
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Im.still suffering also, I have anxiety , panic,  tremors, feel I'm sweating when I'm not, intrusive thoughts, tingling in the legs, numb feelings, twitching came back.  I feel totally defeated I cannot relax.
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Im.still suffering also, I have anxiety , panic,  tremors, feel I'm sweating when I'm not, intrusive thoughts, tingling in the legs, numb feelings, twitching came back.  I feel totally defeated I cannot relax.

 

Im so sorry.. Its truly horrifying that all the good adivce on this board i cannot put to use becasue im so disabled...I am in  class of injured that is too triggering for most...I see people on here complain over the most trivial symptoms and i envy them so much i cant help it...i wish i just had a runnny nose or some insomnia to complain about but i jave that plus 100s of other symptoms..this is a medical wmergency yet there is no where to turn for help..keep me in your thoughts or prayers i dont know how much longer i can take thia

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I'm so sorry that you suffer so much.

 

We all heal and so do you. The medication that has been given to us tells us lies that we are never going to get better. Some have it worse than others, but we will heal.

 

Please stay strong, you will come out of this.

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Im so sorry.. Its truly horrifying that all the good adivce on this board i cannot put to use becasue im so disabled...I am in  class of injured that is too triggering for most...I see people on here complain over the most trivial symptoms and i envy them so much i cant help it...i wish i just had a runnny nose or some insomnia to complain about but i jave that plus 100s of other symptoms..this is a medical wmergency yet there is no where to turn for help..keep me in your thoughts or prayers i dont know how much longer i can take thia

 

plad12 - Why don't you reinstate?

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Im so sorry.. Its truly horrifying that all the good adivce on this board i cannot put to use becasue im so disabled...I am in  class of injured that is too triggering for most...I see people on here complain over the most trivial symptoms and i envy them so much i cant help it...i wish i just had a runnny nose or some insomnia to complain about but i jave that plus 100s of other symptoms..this is a medical wmergency yet there is no where to turn for help..keep me in your thoughts or prayers i dont know how much longer i can take thia

 

plad12 - Why don't you reinstate?

Cannot do that  i have a brain injury  my  rescue doses just made things worse...I am unfortunately just really injured at the moment. Never took these daily so it wouldnt make sense to start them daily now..I am just really unlucky.

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How do you know you have a brain injury?

Because i have never ever before this been 100% mentally disabeld. unable to function do simple tasks before using these pills prn.

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I don't understand.  Did you stope completely in April, 2022?  If so, par for the course. 

 

I don't want to diminish what has been happening to you but can assure you I've had more than a "runny nose".  Same as many here.  I've experienced everything you describe, you are not Robinson Crusoe. 

 

It's horrible, but these are early days for you and it will improve. 

 

40 months for me. 

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Hey plad12.  I just read through your posts to try and make sense of your story.  I realize how much you are suffering.  You do have every symptom in the book.  I understand you are also bedridden.  It is terrible what these pills do to us even when you are not even taking them daily.

 

I have seen many folks like you - including myself - that suffered terribly for months and months before healing.  I didnt even begin to see any real progress until month 8.  I too suffered so terribly and lost almost everything - twice because I had one of the worst setbacks ever last year.  All of those folks that I am referencing healed.  Some took 12 months, 18 months, 2 years, 3 years and finally healed - at least enough to function.  Your body will do the same.  I bet my life on it.  It is going to feel awful right now, truly awful, but dont give up hope.  We are here for you when it gets to be too much. 

 

I truly hope you feel better soon!

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Are you alone Plad? I spent 6 months alone and laying on my floor, I was CT’d.  I could not even log on a computer phone nothing.  From that point I crawled to the bathroom, to the kitchen.  I was admitted to hospital for malnutrition and released with a halter monitor.    Then I stayed in my car at a hospital all day in a hospital parking lot for 18 months.  Only going home to sleep.  I have had over 150 sx to date.  I m down to the last handful .  I survived.  I found BB and figured out what happened to me at 6 months so know that I feel you and I am sorry.  But you are not permanently disabled and might want to stay away from horror stories.  For sure stay away from Facebook or any social media.  Do you have support?  Are you eating?  Are you drinking water? 
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Are you alone Plad? I spent 6 months alone and laying on my floor, I was CT’d.  I could not even log on a computer phone nothing.  From that point I crawled to the bathroom, to the kitchen.  I was admitted to hospital for malnutrition and released with a halter monitor.    Then I stayed in my car at a hospital all day in a hospital parking lot for 18 months.  Only going home to sleep.  I have had over 150 sx to date.  I m down to the last handful .  I survived.  I found BB and figured out what happened to me at 6 months so know that I feel you and I am sorry.  But you are not permanently disabled and might want to stay away from horror stories.  For sure stay away from Facebook or any social media.  Do you have support?  Are you eating?  Are you drinking water?

Honestly i can deal with moat symptoms the one i cannot deal with is my inner akathisia/inner agitation  torment. I cannot be still or ait still cor life of me and brings me constant dark thoughts i dont knoww hat to do anymore. I cant deal with it anymore. did you have this and also constant unrelenting nerve pain in feet and legs...im losing this battle

 

Edit:  content

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Hey plad12.  I just read through your posts to try and make sense of your story.  I realize how much you are suffering.  You do have every symptom in the book.  I understand you are also bedridden.  It is terrible what these pills do to us even when you are not even taking them daily.

 

I have seen many folks like you - including myself - that suffered terribly for months and months before healing.  I didnt even begin to see any real progress until month 8.  I too suffered so terribly and lost almost everything - twice because I had one of the worst setbacks ever last year.  All of those folks that I am referencing healed.  Some took 12 months, 18 months, 2 years, 3 years and finally healed - at least enough to function.  Your body will do the same.  I bet my life on it.  It is going to feel awful right now, truly awful, but dont give up hope.  We are here for you when it gets to be too much. 

 

I truly hope you feel better soon!

i dont doubt you suffered. But seeing as you were able to work through withdrawls just shows how much more messed up i am than most. i cant even walk my dog anymore had to give her up to a friend. I am in pain and constant terror and fear. unrelwnting. ..I kust hope to become a human being of some sort eventually

 

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Are you alone Plad? I spent 6 months alone and laying on my floor, I was CT’d.  I could not even log on a computer phone nothing.  From that point I crawled to the bathroom, to the kitchen.  I was admitted to hospital for malnutrition and released with a halter monitor.    Then I stayed in my car at a hospital all day in a hospital parking lot for 18 months.  Only going home to sleep.  I have had over 150 sx to date.  I m down to the last handful .  I survived.  I found BB and figured out what happened to me at 6 months so know that I feel you and I am sorry.  But you are not permanently disabled and might want to stay away from horror stories.  For sure stay away from Facebook or any social media.  Do you have support?  Are you eating?  Are you drinking water?

 

Are you alone?  Are you eating drinking?  I did have every sx you mentioned and so have most if not all others here.  You are not a isolated case.  Yes I have a story too.  But I am down to the last handful of sx.  I was CT’d after long term use.  I could not stop pacing or moving constantly.  Now I drive, shop swim excercise care for my daughter, and home no I did not work during acute which is what is going on with you.  If you need help contact your doctor, friend or relative.  Don’t try to do this alone.  Take care and eat and drink.

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Etizolam is very rarely used in the United States. Of course, it's possible to buy it online. What country are you in?

 

Etizolam is not actually a benzodiazapine, though it is said to work the same as a benzodiazepine. The big difference is that Etizolam contains sulfur, which causes problems for some people - me, for example.

 

If you wanted to reinstate and try a more gradual taper, you would not necessarily have to take Etizolam again. You could take a benzodiazepine like Valium (diazepam) or Klonopin (clonazepam). One of them may work for you, even if the Etizolam rescue dose didn't work. And you wouldn't necessarily have to take it every day. You might, you might not. You'd just have to find out. A lot of people switch from short half-life benzos like Xanax (alprazolam) or Ativan (lorazepam) to a longer half-life benzo like Valium (diazepam). There is nothing unusual switching from one benzo to another in order to have a gentler taper experience.

 

In any case, if your suffering is unbearable, I think you should consider reinstating. That is always an option, and you should never forget it. However, reinstatement sometimes has paradoxical results. Sometimes, I would stress. Not always. Not even usually. Only sometimes. So, if you can possibly hang on, you'll probably feel better, with time. But if you cannot deal with the suffering any more, remember reinstatement.

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Im so sorry.. Its truly horrifying that all the good adivce on this board i cannot put to use becasue im so disabled...I am in  class of injured that is too triggering for most...I see people on here complain over the most trivial symptoms and i envy them so much i cant help it...i wish i just had a runnny nose or some insomnia to complain about but i jave that plus 100s of other symptoms..this is a medical wmergency yet there is no where to turn for help..keep me in your thoughts or prayers i dont know how much longer i can take thia

 

plad12 - Why don't you reinstate?

Cannot do that  i have a brain injury  my  rescue doses just made things worse...I am unfortunately just really injured at the moment. Never took these daily so it wouldnt make sense to start them daily now..I am just really unlucky.

Me either plad , I understand. 

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Are you alone Plad? I spent 6 months alone and laying on my floor, I was CT’d.  I could not even log on a computer phone nothing.  From that point I crawled to the bathroom, to the kitchen.  I was admitted to hospital for malnutrition and released with a halter monitor.    Then I stayed in my car at a hospital all day in a hospital parking lot for 18 months.  Only going home to sleep.  I have had over 150 sx to date.  I m down to the last handful .  I survived.  I found BB and figured out what happened to me at 6 months so know that I feel you and I am sorry.  But you are not permanently disabled and might want to stay away from horror stories.  For sure stay away from Facebook or any social media.  Do you have support?  Are you eating?  Are you drinking water?

I want to hug you.

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Etizolam is very rarely used in the United States. Of course, it's possible to buy it online. What country are you in?

 

Etizolam is not actually a benzodiazapine, though it is said to work the same as a benzodiazepine. The big difference is that Etizolam contains sulfur, which causes problems for some people - me, for example.

 

If you wanted to reinstate and try a more gradual taper, you would not necessarily have to take Etizolam again. You could take a benzodiazepine like Valium (diazepam) or Klonopin (clonazepam). One of them may work for you, even if the Etizolam rescue dose didn't work. And you wouldn't necessarily have to take it every day. You might, you might not. You'd just have to find out. A lot of people switch from short half-life benzos like Xanax (alprazolam) or Ativan (lorazepam) to a longer half-life benzo like Valium (diazepam). There is nothing unusual switching from one benzo to another in order to have a gentler taper experience.

 

In any case, if your suffering is unbearable, I think you should consider reinstating. That is always an option, and you should never forget it. However, reinstatement sometimes has paradoxical results. Sometimes, I would stress. Not always. Not even usually. Only sometimes. So, if you can possibly hang on, you'll probably feel better, with time. But if you cannot deal with the suffering any more, remember reinstatement.

Re instating makes 0 sense as i was only using PRN. maybe 1 a week sometimes. Sl why would i become a daily user. rescue doses i took made me worse that hiw i know this caused an injury of some sort  i never had your typical withdrawls . i exper3ince pure torture from day 1 and its only got worse.  thank you god bless you i appreciate your input but im too far gone.

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What I am telling you is that some other benzodiazepine may work differently from Etizolam - which isn't actually a benzodiazepine at all. You could go to a doctor, explain what happened, and see if you can get a prescription for clonazepam or some real benzodiazepine. I would not advise alprazolam and especially not lorazepam, which are both very short-acting. Clonazepam or diazepam have longer half-lifes. You could try it and see. If it doesn't work, what have you lost?

 

Or you can hang in there and wait for it to get better.

 

Those are your options.

 

 

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What I am telling you is that some other benzodiazepine may work differently from Etizolam - which isn't actually a benzodiazepine at all. You could go to a doctor, explain what happened, and see if you can get a prescription for clonazepam or some real benzodiazepine. I would not advise alprazolam and especially not lorazepam, which are both very short-acting. Clonazepam or diazepam have longer half-lifes. You could try it and see. If it doesn't work, what have you lost?

 

Or you can hang in there and wait for it to get better.

 

Those are your options.

I saw a psychiatrist yesterday. They want me on cymbalta. They will not put me on a benzo thats not an option unfortunately.

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