Bad day, please some support

Today I woke up crying right away. It happens every morning that I wake up flooded with fearful thoughts, but some days are worse, like today.

All I can think about is how long it will be before I am even off this taper, months, years?? I'm completely overwhelmed.

And I have already lost so much; friends, my job, my self esteem, my ability to do so many things I used to do.

I just do not see how I will make it through this. Every day is so awful, I try to be rational and say I have no other option but to keep going, but some days I do not feel like I can keep going. I really feel desperate, lonely and defeated.

Any thoughts would help, thank you.

-Jenny

Hi Jenny, I know what it’s like to wake up in that state, believe me, I do. It will get better. Just do anything to get through the day to distract and let time pass.

This is a horrible journey and the very fact that you’re on it shows how strong you are.

Every good wish. Hardy.

Today I woke up crying right away. It happens every morning that I wake up flooded with fearful thoughts, but some days are worse, like today.

All I can think about is how long it will be before I am even off this taper, months, years?? I'm completely overwhelmed.

And I have already lost so much; friends, my job, my self esteem, my ability to do so many things I used to do.

I just do not see how I will make it through this. Every day is so awful, I try to be rational and say I have no other option but to keep going, but some days I do not feel like I can keep going. I really feel desperate, lonely and defeated.

Any thoughts would help, thank you.

-Jenny

Sorry to hear about what you're going through.  It was just yesterday that I was thinking, "Man, Jennytapering, would make a good counselor."  Your posts have expressed great sympathy and empathy for others here.  You are not alone, and your words do not fall on deaf ears.

It sounds like you are not only "fearful" but also depressed.  The best way is to find out how to crawl out of this "abyss" w/o the use of more medication, and though I'm reluctant to suggest it, I wonder if you do need an antidepressant.  Maybe your doctor was kind of predicting this depression during your taper and that was why she prescribed Prozac.  I know that Prozac gave you problems; however, there are other A/Ds out there, and especially if you feel there's no escape from this abyss, I'd consider asking your MD for assistance.  I know that Remeron helped dissolve my depression that I had near the beginning of my taper.  I'm not suggesting you have to take that med, but if things don't get better for you an A/D might be worth considering.  Take Care.

You are a good person who cares deeply about others.

Good things will come to good people, I am sure of that.

You will come out of this stronger, and you will have lots of people around you who will be good to you.

Today I woke up crying right away. It happens every morning that I wake up flooded with fearful thoughts, but some days are worse, like today.

All I can think about is how long it will be before I am even off this taper, months, years?? I'm completely overwhelmed.

And I have already lost so much; friends, my job, my self esteem, my ability to do so many things I used to do.

I just do not see how I will make it through this. Every day is so awful, I try to be rational and say I have no other option but to keep going, but some days I do not feel like I can keep going. I really feel desperate, lonely and defeated.

Any thoughts would help, thank you.

-Jenny

 

Sorry to hear about what you're going through.  It was just yesterday that I was thinking, "Man, Jennytapering, would make a good counselor."  Your posts have expressed great sympathy and empathy for others here.  You are not alone, and your words do not fall on deaf ears.

 

It sounds like you are not only "fearful" but also depressed.  The best way is to find out how to crawl out of this "abyss" w/o the use of more medication, and though I'm reluctant to suggest it, I wonder if you do need an antidepressant.  Maybe your doctor was kind of predicting this depression during your taper and that was why she prescribed Prozac.  I know that Prozac gave you problems; however, there are other A/Ds out there, and especially if you feel there's no escape from this abyss, I'd consider asking your MD for assistance.  I know that Remeron helped dissolve my depression that I had near the beginning of my taper.  I'm not suggesting you have to take that med, but if things don't get better for you an A/D might be worth considering.  Take Care.

Thank you Rocknroll,

it is so perplexing how I can feel so much empathy and want so much to boost up other people, but can not have the same self love.

I read other people's painful stories and want to give them any tips I use for myself to help, but inside myself/my thoughts are often very mean and unforgiving.

It has a lot to do with my way of being parented, mostly neglected and criticized

But I have so much love for other people and that is genuine.

I will discuss the Remeron with my Psych, I have never heard of it, so maybe we can try that.

I understand it may work for one person and not the other.

Anyway, just the fact that you took time to reply means a lot to me, thank you!

Sending my best,

xJen

Hi Jenny, I know what it’s like to wake up in that state, believe me, I do. It will get better. Just do anything to get through the day to distract and let time pass.

This is a horrible journey and the very fact that you’re on it shows how strong you are.

Every good wish. Hardy.

Thank you Hardy,

Yes, distraction is one of the ways I get through and today I will try to tackle some distracting things instead of ruminating.

Thank you for the reminder.

Thank you for responding and the well wishes, it means a lot right now,

xJenny

You are a good person who cares deeply about others.

 

Good things will come to good people, I am sure of that.

 

You will come out of this stronger, and you will have lots of people around you who will be good to you.

Thank you SnelleJelle,

I hope all you say is true.

All I want at this point is just a simple feeling of well being and self love.

I know I must be patient and strong and not think of giving up.

Thank you for your encouraging words,

xJenny

Today I woke up crying right away. It happens every morning that I wake up flooded with fearful thoughts, but some days are worse, like today.

All I can think about is how long it will be before I am even off this taper, months, years?? I'm completely overwhelmed.

And I have already lost so much; friends, my job, my self esteem, my ability to do so many things I used to do.

I just do not see how I will make it through this. Every day is so awful, I try to be rational and say I have no other option but to keep going, but some days I do not feel like I can keep going. I really feel desperate, lonely and defeated.

Any thoughts would help, thank you.

-Jenny

 

Thank you Rocknroll,

it is so perplexing how I can feel so much empathy and want so much to boost up other people, but can not have the same self love.

I read other people's painful stories and want to give them any tips I use for myself to help, but inside myself/my thoughts are often very mean and unforgiving.

It has a lot to do with my way of being parented, mostly neglected and criticized

But I have so much love for other people and that is genuine.

I will discuss the Remeron with my Psych, I have never heard of it, so maybe we can try that.

I understand it may work for one person and not the other.

Anyway, just the fact that you took time to reply means a lot to me, thank you!

Sending my best,

xJen

Sorry to hear about what you're going through.  It was just yesterday that I was thinking, "Man, Jennytapering, would make a good counselor."  Your posts have expressed great sympathy and empathy for others here.  You are not alone, and your words do not fall on deaf ears.

It sounds like you are not only "fearful" but also depressed.  The best way is to find out how to crawl out of this "abyss" w/o the use of more medication, and though I'm reluctant to suggest it, I wonder if you do need an antidepressant.  Maybe your doctor was kind of predicting this depression during your taper and that was why she prescribed Prozac.  I know that Prozac gave you problems; however, there are other A/Ds out there, and especially if you feel there's no escape from this abyss, I'd consider asking your MD for assistance.  I know that Remeron helped dissolve my depression that I had near the beginning of my taper.  I'm not suggesting you have to take that med, but if things don't get better for you an A/D might be worth considering.  Take Care.

Jenny

If you read your post back to yourself and imagine it was someone else who wrote it, you would totally understand why they feel this way. I say give yourself a break, allow yourself to be defeated in the moment, cry, get it out of your system. Sometimes we just need acknowledgement that life sucks, withdrawal sucks and it's all so unfair. Keeping it bottled up isn't good. When you've had yourself a good pity party on your bad days you'll pull yourself right back up cause that's what you do. You'll face your challenges head on because this process is only making you stronger. Your track record of getting through each difficult day is 100% so I'll say history has proven you're one tough lady! 

Jenny

 

If you read your post back to yourself and imagine it was someone else who wrote it, you would totally understand why they feel this way. I say give yourself a break, allow yourself to be defeated in the moment, cry, get it out of your system. Sometimes we just need acknowledgement that life sucks, withdrawal sucks and it's all so unfair. Keeping it bottled up isn't good. When you've had yourself a good pity party on your bad days you'll pull yourself right back up cause that's what you do. You'll face your challenges head on because this process is only making you stronger. Your track record of getting through each difficult day is 100% so I'll say history has proven you're one tough lady! 

Thank you Jelly Baby,

I totally agree, it is so much easier for me to feel kindness and understanding for others than it is for myself. My mind is not nice to myself and I have to work hard to cut myself slack, but I know you are right, it is the healthy thing to do. It is definitely one of my struggles that I need to work on as I'm sure so many of us do.

Thank you for sending your support, it always feels better when BBs boost me up, I'm very grateful!

xJenny

Today I woke up crying right away. It happens every morning that I wake up flooded with fearful thoughts, but some days are worse, like today.

All I can think about is how long it will be before I am even off this taper, months, years?? I'm completely overwhelmed.

And I have already lost so much; friends, my job, my self esteem, my ability to do so many things I used to do.

I just do not see how I will make it through this. Every day is so awful, I try to be rational and say I have no other option but to keep going, but some days I do not feel like I can keep going. I really feel desperate, lonely and defeated.

Any thoughts would help, thank you.

-Jenny

 

Sorry to hear about what you're going through.  It was just yesterday that I was thinking, "Man, Jennytapering, would make a good counselor."  Your posts have expressed great sympathy and empathy for others here.  You are not alone, and your words do not fall on deaf ears.

 

It sounds like you are not only "fearful" but also depressed.  The best way is to find out how to crawl out of this "abyss" w/o the use of more medication, and though I'm reluctant to suggest it, I wonder if you do need an antidepressant.  Maybe your doctor was kind of predicting this depression during your taper and that was why she prescribed Prozac.  I know that Prozac gave you problems; however, there are other A/Ds out there, and especially if you feel there's no escape from this abyss, I'd consider asking your MD for assistance.  I know that Remeron helped dissolve my depression that I had near the beginning of my taper.  I'm not suggesting you have to take that med, but if things don't get better for you an A/D might be worth considering.  Take Care.

This is a great series of thoughts!!!