Ashton Buddies need advice or encouragement. Still crossing from x to v-Hard!

Please, I need to hear from Ashton buddies who have experience with the method. I'm in to my ashton taper a few months. About 8 or so weeks in to ashton crossover from 2mg x, 26years, to 40mg diazapam> I just  read the whole ashton manual and read that these taper schedules were actually schedules that patients came up with which worked well for them.  Major panic attack here!

I've not even crossed all the way over to all valium/diazepam, and I feel the xanax cuts wd sx's, still with these suggested schedules.

I get mad at myself because I thought crossing over would mean super easy. I have to remind myself this is a learning curve, but suffering is hard.  I remember these sx's when I was micro tapering xanax alone very slowly and still feeling the hands and legs with that trembling, weird numbness, burning skin, chemical fear, dark or ridiculous intrusive thoughts.  Ashton's printed schedules take you off the xanax faster while incorporating diazepam.

I also read that the Valium was supposed to cover up the sx's of xanax interdose w/d by now.

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow who has agreed to do the ashton method/crossover with me to get me off the benzos.

Sedation and depression evident with valium. Mental sx's still appear like they did when I was DMT xanax alone.  No motivation since the start of this whole ordeal year ago.

How to tell if the valium is a bad drug for me because I feel so bad win this stage of ashton (stage 8 on schedule 7, this schedule is for tapering from 4mg xanax, so I did the math and just halved the tapering milligrams since I was coming off 2mg, not 4). 26 years of it though!  I've held each stage after stage 5 for two weeks, and today is 2 weeks of doing stage eight).  Can I hold during the crossover period if I feel like hell, do I grit my teeth and move ahead?  We know we are all different.  Unfortunately, Ashton Manual doesn't give you specifics on certain things.

I'm driving myself crazy ruminating on questions like is it the diazepam or the xanax cuts causing the pain..or is it just the taper.  I thought ashton would be a walk on the beach compared to DMT. I wanted that be true so bad.

I hope I'm making sense.  I'm feeling overwhelmed and having one of those weeks where I'm questioning everything from is this worth it(the suffering).  I hope to get some comforting and helpful replies..I need you all big time.  I feel the fear in the pit of my stomach that I am doomed (lizard brain/human fear of this difficult and trial and error process).

 

I was succesful at this, and it cost me no effort at all. It all went very smoothly.

 

First off all, did you transition slowly? And did you use the right equivalency?

 

This is how it went for me (with ativan 1:10, not xanax 1:20):

 

6.5 Ativan / 10 Valium - 5 days

6.0 Ativan / 15 Valium - 5 days

5.5 Ativan / 20 Valium - 4 days

5.0 Ativan / 25 Valium - 4 days

4.5 Ativan / 30 Valium - Stabilize for 2 weeks

 

4.0 Ativan / 30 Valium - 10 days

3.5 Ativan / 30 Valium - 10 days

3.0 Ativan / 30 Valium - 12 days

2.5 Ativan / 30 Valium - 12 days

2.0 Ativan / 30 Valium - 10 days

1.5 Ativan / 30 Valium - 10 days

1.0 Ativan / 30 Valium - 10 days

0.5 Ativan / 30 Valium - 12 days

0 Ativan / 30 Valium - Start Valium Taper

 

As you can see I slowly introduced valium. Losing the ativan after crossing over was a piece of cake I never imagined.

Please, I need to hear from Ashton buddies who have experience with the method. I'm in to my ashton taper a few months. About 8 or so weeks in to ashton crossover from 2mg x, 26years, to 40mg diazapam> I just  read the whole ashton manual and read that these taper schedules were actually schedules that patients came up with which worked well for them.  Major panic attack here!

I've not even crossed all the way over to all valium/diazepam, and I feel the xanax cuts wd sx's, still with these suggested schedules.

I get mad at myself because I thought crossing over would mean super easy. I have to remind myself this is a learning curve, but suffering is hard.  I remember these sx's when I was micro tapering xanax alone very slowly and still feeling the hands and legs with that trembling, weird numbness, burning skin, chemical fear, dark or ridiculous intrusive thoughts.  Ashton's printed schedules take you off the xanax faster while incorporating diazepam.

I also read that the Valium was supposed to cover up the sx's of xanax interdose w/d by now.

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow who has agreed to do the ashton method/crossover with me to get me off the benzos.

Sedation and depression evident with valium. Mental sx's still appear like they did when I was DMT xanax alone.  No motivation since the start of this whole ordeal year ago.

How to tell if the valium is a bad drug for me because I feel so bad win this stage of ashton (stage 8 on schedule 7, this schedule is for tapering from 4mg xanax, so I did the math and just halved the tapering milligrams since I was coming off 2mg, not 4). 26 years of it though!  I've held each stage after stage 5 for two weeks, and today is 2 weeks of doing stage eight).  Can I hold during the crossover period if I feel like hell, do I grit my teeth and move ahead?  We know we are all different.  Unfortunately, Ashton Manual doesn't give you specifics on certain things.

I'm driving myself crazy ruminating on questions like is it the diazepam or the xanax cuts causing the pain..or is it just the taper.  I thought ashton would be a walk on the beach compared to DMT. I wanted that be true so bad.

I hope I'm making sense.  I'm feeling overwhelmed and having one of those weeks where I'm questioning everything from is this worth it(the suffering).  I hope to get some comforting and helpful replies..I need you all big time.  I feel the fear in the pit of my stomach that I am doomed (lizard brain/human fear of this difficult and trial and error process).

Firstly, I'm sorry you feel so horrible, I feel the same way, so you are not alone. I am on Ashton schedule 3 6mg Ativan to valium and yes I still have sx after several months in, especially emotionally; anxiety, depression, loneliness, self loathing etc... I think this is typical and there is no way around it, unless you are just lucky .. and we are all different. The valium makes me sleepy and depressed, but not as anxious or panicky as the Ativan, so I choose that over around the clock panic attacks. I think it is normal to still feel the interdose wd and also unavoidable unfortunately, when that might stop, no one knows, because everyone is so different.

I encourage you to keep going with the schedule, try not to ruminate about what makes sense and just forge ahead. Distract your mind as much as possible. It is like a war inside our mind and body that we have to take day by day. This week has been hell for you, maybe hold for a bit. But maybe a day will come soon where you feel a bit less overwhelmed. I get a few decent days here and there, and plenty of days where I'm sure I will not make it through..but I just tell myself to keep following the schedule no matter what.

I hope this helps a tiny bit, sending big hugs and tons of support and I hear you and feel your pain.

xJenny

Thank you Jenny. Your encouragement is appreciated and adds a tremendous amount  of encouragement today!

I crossed over from lorazapam to diazepam here in the UK. The first half or 3/4 was difficult till you get more diazapam in you.

Then please taper slowly. I have cocked up my taper by coming down in 2s and also holding for a long time.

I have to decide whether to start again but the agrophobia and intrusive thoughts have not lifted like I wanted them to.

Sending best wishes MP

Thank you Jenny. Your encouragement is appreciated and adds a tremendous amount  of encouragement today!

The fact that I was able to encouraged you today makes ME feel good, so in a way, we both did something positive to help each other .. something we can feel good about .. even the little things are important. Giving love and support when we are down in our darkest places is something to be proud of.

Best-Jen

 

Hi Widesky,

I’m in the same situation as you. The crossover from Xanax to Valium has been extremely difficult. I wasn’t expecting it to be easy, but I thought it would be easier than it is. It’s taking me much longer than specified in the Ashton manual to crossover, because I feel each cut of Xanax acutely. The interdose withdrawals are still there. My anxiety is still awful.  I’m wondering if Valium is just not for me, but at this point I feel like I can’t turn back around either.

 

Anyhow, just know you are not alone. Keep pushing through.

Hi Widesky,

I’m in the same situation as you. The crossover from Xanax to Valium has been extremely difficult. I wasn’t expecting it to be easy, but I thought it would be easier than it is. It’s taking me much longer than specified in the Ashton manual to crossover, because I feel each cut of Xanax acutely. The interdose withdrawals are still there. My anxiety is still awful.  I’m wondering if Valium is just not for me, but at this point I feel like I can’t turn back around either.

 

Anyhow, just know you are not alone. Keep pushing through.

 

Yes, that is what I'm going to attempt to do, push through.  Thank you for taking the time to reply, it can mean so much to get a supportive and sensible and honest reply. Sending you good thoughts.

Keep going guys!

It was definitely easier the more valium you get in.