I need advice and a little support to move on

Hello everyone, I wanted to get some support and find out who had the same thing and how it went. I have been abstaining from xanaksa for almost 6 months. And my most severe symptom is a loss of interest in life, I literally force myself to do everything. Every morning I absolutely do not want to wake up, my brain constantly finds a reason to worry about something. These may be thoughts about death or the loss of a loved one, a lot of experiences for various reasons, this often reduces libido, appetite disappears, there is nothing you don't want to do. There is a strange feeling that I am tired in my body, I want to get out of it, it's annoying. Sometimes joy comes, it is so strong and carefree that it seems to me that I am recovering. I really want to smile, make a joke, say nice words to my family. It comes for a short period of time 1-2 hours, and has been a couple of times all the time. Then I fall back into the abyss of emotions. Tell me, who had the same thing? How did you bear it? Sometimes it seems to me that there is nothing left to change and it will always be so. At the same time, I have to take citalopram at home 20 mg. I can't give it up yet. But I don't even know if it helps me or not, I've tried lowering it to 15 mg. And immediately caught strong dark thoughts, increased anxiety, palpitation of the heart. I was forced to return to 20 mg. Maybe he threw off a lot? I usually take citalopram in the morning, but when I decided to reduce the dose, I split the intake into 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg in the evening. Maybe it was wrong? Or should I lower the dose to 17.5?

 

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I had that same void of an interest in life - even in things I normally enjoyed - after simultaneously discontinuing daily klonopin and sertraline (zoloft) in a concerted effort to get off all medications.  Days where I was without symptoms were marked by intense joy because they were few and far between.

 

After a roller coaster of taking klonopin sporadically for 16 months (not realizing each dose was a setback), I decided to get back on zoloft at a small dose (50mg); first to see if it would alleviate protracted withdrawal symptoms.  I decided to stay on a low dose of sertraline because I saw that it greatly improved my depression, which was indeed worsening.  There were less highs and lows, at least within the scope of depression.  It was one less symptom I had to worry about.

 

I think many of us have a tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater - "all medications must go."  For me and my experiences with depression, particularly as a symptom of discontinuing klonopin entirely, I found it was best to get back on my prescribed SSRI for purposes of stability.  Someday when my depression has improved and (hopefully) is no longer a symptom of discontinued klonopin use, perhaps I'll consider getting off of it.  For now, I'm going to stay on it and ride out the healing process of stopping benzodiazepines.  One medication at a time.

When I finished taking benzo, I was prescribed Trazadone, after 2 months I had good days. They were rare, like the sun's rays in winter, but I had enough strength to do useful things, at least a little. Maybe this is due to increased anxiety, which did not even allow me to sit down. At this time, we were able to make a small repair in the apartment with my wife, and I even learned how to apply plaster on the wall, I was proud of myself )). The rest of the time I felt bad, I cried and really believed that the world had turned away from me and it would only get worse. Sometimes I felt good. foolishly, I made mistakes that threw me back a lot. Once I drank half a cup of coffee and unwound my nervous system so much that I calmed down only after two days. Only after the gabapentin tablet. I really love coffee, but do you think I'll be able to drink it someday? Or will the side effect of coffee always be so unreal? There was also a case when I drank 0.5 Coca-Cola and two hours later, I started having crazy anxiety and palpitations, I didn't know where to put myself, since I drink this drink extremely rarely, I completely forgot about the fact that it contains caffeine, which gave me this hell. I also decided to take vitamin d3, which was in vain, I felt terribly ill, my depression increased several times, not to mention abdominal pain and diarrhea.

Then I thought that I should go back to citalopram, because he helped me quite well once. I was behind a stone wall on it. When I returned to AD, I did not notice a surge of strength, unless the obsession was gone by 80%. There was less fear. But as for the interest in life and motivation, there is a complete minus. Now I regret that I returned to citalopram, as it is also hard to get off it. How hard it is to be a hostage of pills. Maybe it was worth enduring further and not returning to receiving selectra. It would be much better now. It turned out what happened.Then I wanted to change something at least to try to become more calm.

Hello everyone, I wanted to get some support and find out who had the same thing and how it went. I have been abstaining from xanaksa for almost 6 months. And my most severe symptom is a loss of interest in life, I literally force myself to do everything. Every morning I absolutely do not want to wake up, my brain constantly finds a reason to worry about something. These may be thoughts about death or the loss of a loved one, a lot of experiences for various reasons, this often reduces libido, appetite disappears, there is nothing you don't want to do. There is a strange feeling that I am tired in my body, I want to get out of it, it's annoying. Sometimes joy comes, it is so strong and carefree that it seems to me that I am recovering. I really want to smile, make a joke, say nice words to my family. It comes for a short period of time 1-2 hours, and has been a couple of times all the time. Then I fall back into the abyss of emotions. Tell me, who had the same thing? How did you bear it? Sometimes it seems to me that there is nothing left to change and it will always be so. At the same time, I have to take citalopram at home 20 mg. I can't give it up yet. But I don't even know if it helps me or not, I've tried lowering it to 15 mg. And immediately caught strong dark thoughts, increased anxiety, palpitation of the heart. I was forced to return to 20 mg. Maybe he threw off a lot? I usually take citalopram in the morning, but when I decided to reduce the dose, I split the intake into 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg in the evening. Maybe it was wrong? Or should I lower the dose to 17.5?

 

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Having highs and lows is very common. We call them waves (bad times) and windows (good times). It sounds like you are having mostly waves and very few windows.

 

I agree that it is not a good idea to try to get off another medication so soon if you are still having such long waves and such short windows. Your brain is still trying to heal.

 

My doctor told me, "The brain likes predictability." Every time you make a change to a medicine, you stress your brain. If you must reduce your medicine, I suggest you slow down. Make one small change and wait 2-4 weeks before making another.

 

We bear the waves because we have to. We accept the waves. We tell ourselves that this is not forever even though we feel like it is forever. We set small goals that we can succeed at most days. We think about right now and today. Those of us who are able, take care of our bodies through exercise and healthy eating. We make lists of things we are thankful for each day. We accept that it will take time to heal.

 

We all know how you feel. You are not alone.

 

 

I really love coffee, but do you think I'll be able to drink it someday? Or will the side effect of coffee always be so unreal?

 

I wish I knew the answer to this, as I am a huge fan of coffee and pre-workouts / energy drinks.  From what I gather based on some of the other posts on here, eventually, we'll be able to have it.  For now, while I still run the risk of a migraine and/or panic attack, I'm choosing to not test it.  Maybe I'll give it another go in a year or so.

I returned to drinking coffee after a brief time abstaining during my recovery but I've never tried an energy drink so I can't comment on that.

I really love coffee, but do you think I'll be able to drink it someday? Or will the side effect of coffee always be so unreal?

 

I wish I knew the answer to this, as I am a huge fan of coffee and pre-workouts / energy drinks.  From what I gather based on some of the other posts on here, eventually, we'll be able to have it.  For now, while I still run the risk of a migraine and/or panic attack, I'm choosing to not test it.  Maybe I'll give it another go in a year or so.

 

:thumbsup: