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Help, I feel mentally paralysed


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I woke up and it was completely empty in my head. I have extreme depersonalisation, I can't think anymore. My mind is blank.

 

My main distraction was sports and it ways helped me. But my hip is too damaged too do anything anymore.

 

I can't go to the hospital, because I won't last three seconds there in this situation. I get panic attacks, and I have to run out of there. It has happened many times before on other occasions.

 

What will I do for distraction? I'm going insane. I can't be bedridden all day.

 

My parents understand. We have an agreement that whatever happens, we won't go to psychiatry. I have never had insane thoughts, hallucinations, voices or whatever. If we go there, they just start guessing again and put me on medication. My life will be over.

 

What will I do. Please help

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How can this happen when I'm holding, I'm like the people in post withdrawal.

 

Should I just jump from the 1.7?

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I woke up and it was completely empty in my head. I have extreme depersonalisation, I can't think anymore. My mind is blank.

 

My main distraction was sports and it ways helped me. But my hip is too damaged too do anything anymore.

 

I can't go to the hospital, because I won't last three seconds there in this situation. I get panic attacks, and I have to run out of there. It has happened many times before on other occasions.

 

What will I do for distraction? I'm going insane. I can't be bedridden all day.

 

My parents understand. We have an agreement that whatever happens, we won't go to psychiatry. I have never had insane thoughts, hallucinations, voices or whatever. If we go there, they just start guessing again and put me on medication. My life will be over.

 

What will I do. Please help

 

Sorry to hear that you are in such a state.  You were lucid enough to compose an articulate and understandable post, though.

 

How about lifting some weights or playing sports video games?  I'm just trying to think of something for you that is distracting and sports-related.

 

Jump from 1.7 mg?  I don't know.  Have you tried turtle-tapering toward 1?

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I woke up and it was completely empty in my head. I have extreme depersonalisation, I can't think anymore. My mind is blank.

 

My main distraction was sports and it ways helped me. But my hip is too damaged too do anything anymore.

 

I can't go to the hospital, because I won't last three seconds there in this situation. I get panic attacks, and I have to run out of there. It has happened many times before on other occasions.

 

What will I do for distraction? I'm going insane. I can't be bedridden all day.

 

My parents understand. We have an agreement that whatever happens, we won't go to psychiatry. I have never had insane thoughts, hallucinations, voices or whatever. If we go there, they just start guessing again and put me on medication. My life will be over.

 

What will I do. Please help

 

Sorry to hear that you are in such a state.  You were lucid enough to compose an articulate and understandable post, though.

 

How about lifting some weights or playing sports video games?  I'm just trying to think of something for you that is distracting and sports-related.

 

Jump from 1.7 mg?  I don't know.  Have you tried turtle-tapering toward 1?

 

I already do body exercises, but I just doesn't work as well as cardio exercises.

 

I can't play videogames, I used to love that. But I will get overstimulated, my mind can't handle anything

 

This is just extremely scary

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Okay so I'm playing a little bit of Nintendo Switch Sports. Some online soccer, 4 guys and girls against 4 other guys and girls. its fun and distracting, but my mind can only keep up with 2 games and after that I feel even more empty. I can't sit behind a screen too long.

 

*sigh* I just want to run

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Many if not most people in WD are unable to exercise. In fact intensive exercise can often cause setbacks. You may find as you get lower and jump this may become a problem. You may continue to be ok, just something you should be aware of.

 

Distraction, it's trying to find something that will hold your interest. Some people draw, color, jigsaws, video games. I personally planned a few small projects. Rebuilding an old bike etc. 1 member here started doing Lego. You just need to find something that suits you.

 

Can you still walk with your bad hip? Maybe just getting out in the fresh air would help? Don't have to walk far, but out in nature watching the world go by

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Thanks for the tips.

 

I'm one of those people who needs intense exercise. I'm not having it right now and that's one of the reasons I feel like this.

 

 

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I just ran 3K. I had too. And I feel a lot better.

 

And I realised, I need sports. It's my only way out.

 

In June I ran 340K. My hip started to feel better and better. Pain was disappearing. And as the competitive idiot that I am I forgot that I need to save my body for the rest of the withdrawal and I start going fast again, trying make myself faster and faster. Sprinting. And a few days back I went too hard and it was like my leg was stuck in my hip.

 

I need to realise that the hip problem will not go away, and that I need to save my body until withdrawal is over. Train for recovery, not for matches, that will come later, when all of this is over.

 

I'm also typing this for myself, as a reminder to never get in this situation again. To train slow and steady, with injuries in the back of my mind, with as only goal recovery from benzo's.

 

By the way, in 2001 I tried video games too as a distraction. It didn't work back then either. It has always been sports for me.

 

 

I still like to thank you for your support and trying to help, it is always appreciated  :)

 

 

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It looks like we’re in a similar position. Only took 3 months of lorazepam and Valium use to destroy all my hobbies and dreams. I was an athlete too, highly competitive and sensitive. Soccer and cycling, gone (two great loves of my life). I had plans to learn the violin this year and play competitive soccer and move outta country, gone. You sound a little better than me considering you’re actually exercising and playing some video games (what I’d give to play a game of fifa and yell at the tv with no worries in the world). Can I ask if you’re working? I’m housebound and have severe akathisia, I literally pace around my house for 12 hours and and when it gets dark I maybe play some online chess or poker but my scores/talent are at the bottom of the pool in both, I used to be decent at both. That numb/empty feeling scares me to death cause I can’t live like this for life. I want my old self back :-[. I’m going insane, probably there. I honestly think it’s the Valium..I should have gone off lorazepam directly, I don’t care what the Ashton Manuel sais. The crossover really messed me up and that’s when everything hit rock bottom. I don’t know what to say..I don’t believe in god so the only thing I can hope for is my brain to recover. I’m going off the Valium today, I’m at 1mg from 10. I literally slept one hour per night for over a month, every time I tried to sleep in the afternoon I would get brain zapped into hell again, it’s literallly hell. I got put on Remeron which actually put me to sleep for 5-6 hours a night, still torture. I don’t stop moving cause I feel like I’m gonna die if I sit and feel this way. I’m hoping the best for us. I don’t know what to say…
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It looks like we’re in a similar position. Only took 3 months of lorazepam and Valium use to destroy all my hobbies and dreams. I was an athlete too, highly competitive and sensitive. Soccer and cycling, gone (two great loves of my life). I had plans to learn the violin this year and play competitive soccer and move outta country, gone. You sound a little better than me considering you’re actually exercising and playing some video games (what I’d give to play a game of fifa and yell at the tv with no worries in the world). Can I ask if you’re working? I’m housebound and have severe akathisia, I literally pace around my house for 12 hours and and when it gets dark I maybe play some online chess or poker but my scores/talent are at the bottom of the pool in both, I used to be decent at both. That numb/empty feeling scares me to death cause I can’t live like this for life. I want my old self back :-[. I’m going insane, probably there. I honestly think it’s the Valium..I should have gone off lorazepam directly, I don’t care what the Ashton Manuel sais. The crossover really messed me up and that’s when everything hit rock bottom. I don’t know what to say..I don’t believe in god so the only thing I can hope for is my brain to recover. I’m going off the Valium today, I’m at 1mg from 10. I literally slept one hour per night for over a month, every time I tried to sleep in the afternoon I would get brain zapped into hell again, it’s literallly hell. I got put on Remeron which actually put me to sleep for 5-6 hours a night, still torture. I don’t stop moving cause I feel like I’m gonna die if I sit and feel this way. I’m hoping the best for us. I don’t know what to say…

 

My is hip is damaged because of 20 years intense training like a pro, fighting this medication, not because or withdrawal  :laugh:

 

I still train everyday, but I take it a bit slower. Going to the hospital to see if they can fix my hip.

 

I don't work, but I am slowly building my own company. As a hobby first, because I can't have any stress.

 

I'm basically housebound for the last 17 years, I only come outside to run. Sometimes go to the store.

 

I would give anything to play soccer again too. Soccer is my favorite hobby. And I love Fifa! One of my favorite videogames. I played the first one when I was kid, fifa 94. And I bought fifa 98 in big box. I love playing poker too, but I don't do that anymore because I can't concentrate. And then you lose money  :P

 

The crossover needs to be done correctly. If you go to fast it messes you up. But I think I know what you mean. With lorazepam my focus was much better. But I couldn't get off it. Maybe if I Micro tapered. Valium makes you all drowsy and not being able to concentrate. But it's easier to get off.

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Here's a little bit of Fifa that might cheer you up a little bit

 

 

Push some guy to the ground, and then run for your life to avoid getting a card  :laugh:

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