Rescue doses

I am 4 months of Lorazepam and after a tricky few weeks I had a few really good weeks.

It didn’t last. For the last 3 weeks I have been in such a wave of terror, honestly, too terrified to move from my bed. I am not scared ABOUT anything, just plain anxious……and it can last all day. I actually prefer the panic attacks because it’s all over quickly however dreadful they are.

I managed to come on a seaside trip but only with the help of a rescue dose. Today I have taken another 0.5mg Lorazepam so that I could help my sister enjoy her 70th birthday and we had a lovely morning on the beach.

Are these doses really so dreadful?  I am aware of kindling etc. Part of me thinks it’s better than staying in bed all day because I’m losing all sight of any normal life or routine in this hyper anxious state.

Slow, deep breathing, relaxation techniques,  distraction, CBT stuff just doesn’t help at all.

I would appreciate any thoughts. Thank you.

Hardy.

Oh Hardy, I can't imagine how difficult this must be. To be finally off but still struggling so badly. I'm so sorry. For myself I consider rescue doses not an option. Even during my taper it has not been an option to take them.

 

The way I see it is if I can justify one then when does it stop? What happens if I have a legitimate reason for taking one every day? Am I really willing to gamble my freedom and everything I've put into tapering for a couple of hours of bliss? It is such a slippery slope. When is enough enough and when do I say no?

 

I do understand CBT and things don't work this early out. You have had some good weeks so that's very positive and it will just take a bit more time. These are hard choices to make with no easy answers. But for me, rescue doses would not be an option. I'll get rid of any benzo's in the house the moment I'm done with my taper.

 

I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make for yourself. 

Thanks jelly baby,

I will consider it all when I get back home. One thing for sure…..no more trips or holidays for a long time!

Far too stimulating!

I am grateful for your non-judgemental reply. My Psych has offered me some intensive Psychotherapy to help with the panic etc. I’m not confident that anything much will work (how pessimistic is that!!) but I will give it a go for sure.

I’m going to give my pills to my son who lives near and take it from there.

I wish you well with the rest of your taper and your journey to FREEDOM X

Hugs for Hardy ♥️

Ah, thanks MP.

You’re very kind indeed 🥰

Holidays are stressful so I commend you for even attempting one.  I just wanted to say that life when we're off of the drug and recovered is so good.  I know how awful you feel right now and how you can't see an end to this but I'm hoping you'll trust me when I say your reward for all of this misery will be peace and its worth fighting for.  Excellent idea to get the pills out of your hands.

 

Your mind is doing its best to rationalize taking the extra doses and maybe even trying to make you believe that being on the drug is the only way you're going to be able to live your life but please don't listen to these justifications.  You're a positive person, I've seen how you lift others up even when you're down so I know how strong you are, I believe in you and your ability to be successful.  The only thing you have to do is hang on for however long it will take to recover and I have faith you will.

Your words are always wise Pamster. I will take note and try not to listen to the ones in my head telling me to take a dose.

There’s a vacancy in Britain at the moment for Prime Minister if you fancy putting the wise words to good use……….

 

Thanks.

Oh Hardy, My heart goes out to you.  I have to agree with everyone above who chimed in. 

I’m only 10 weeks out but had a rough patch when I broke out in shingles.  I was sooo glad I had thrown my pills away because I would have been tempted to end the misery.  I believe one of the things that helped me get through that was knowing that I didn’t have the option to take a rescue dose.  My new doctor won’t prescribe and I’d thrown my pills out.  Had I known in the back of my mind that I could take one, I think I might not have been able to overcome it.  Hope that makes sense. 

 

Have you considered that hormones might be playing into it?  Have you had your thyroid and estrogen levels checked?  I’m 70 and at the very end of my taper I changed my thyroid dose and stopped my estrogen patch.  I knew I’d be in for Mr. Toads wild ride - and boy, was I!  Things have improved greatly though.  Out of wack hormones can definitely cause emotional upheavals. 

 

Hang in there friend.  ❤️‍🩹

Thank you all for your replies. Much appreciated. I’m so non functional at the moment that life seems very bleak but I’ll hang on a bit longer.

Hardy.

Things will get better. Reading through your posts last month you went to school sports day and a ballet class. Also have been away. Even at 39 months off zop no way I could go away, really miss my holidays. Sounds like you are in a bad wave that’s causing the feelings of despair, it will improve xx

I know! It’s like the ultimate tease…….here’s your life!……oh no back to bed for you. Going away was the worst decision ever. I went because I had booked it to thank my sister for all her support. It has completely exhausted me. It took every ounce of courage to get through the week.I guess the exhaustion has brought on the bad wave. No more trips!

Thanks Leanne, I needed reminding! X

 

 

Think you’d been away before if I remember. Quite amazing to have actually managed it even if you paid for it later. I can’t even manage to go out for the day. Haven’t been away in 3 years, so you’re doing well.You’ll bounce back. No more Boris so things aren’t all bad👍

Very true!