Easier to quit?

How important is it to force yourself to get out and do things when the anxiety/panic is so thick you cant see an inch in front of your face. Seems so much easier to succumb to it and stay in bed but I have a feeling that isn’t the most productive solution. Any correct answer?

When I have that fear, panic and anxiety etc. I am unable to stay in bed. I honestly hate being cooped in the house it makes me feel like I'm going to go crazy. I make myself go out no matter how bad I feel. Whether it's to get a bite to eat or to go to the nature trail and take a walk. Even if my husband has some type of an appointment I will go with him and just wait in the car. I feel absolutely horrible but I just keep making myself go out. It isn't easy. For me there isn't much I can do to distract in my home, I cannot watch television it's too sensory overload for me I can't watch YouTube videos or listen to music, it's even difficult at times for me to use my phone. I know one buddy that is homebound because she's got vertigo issues and she gets boaty when she goes out she can't even drive in a car. So, some buddies go out and others stay home. Everyone is different in what they need to do for themselves. But for me being in the house is the absolute worst. It's really a shame because I'm unable to lay down during the day at all even if I have a migraine headache. Hoping that this is going to end and I'm going to turn the corner soon. I wish the same for you. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

When I have that fear, panic and anxiety etc. I am unable to stay in bed. I honestly hate being cooped in the house it makes me feel like I'm going to go crazy. I make myself go out no matter how bad I feel. Whether it's to get a bite to eat or to go to the nature trail and take a walk. Even if my husband has some type of an appointment I will go with him and just wait in the car. I feel absolutely horrible but I just keep making myself go out. It isn't easy. For me there isn't much I can do to distract in my home, I cannot watch television it's too sensory overload for me I can't watch YouTube videos or listen to music, it's even difficult at times for me to use my phone. I know one buddy that is homebound because she's got vertigo issues and she gets boaty when she goes out she can't even drive in a car. So, some buddies go out and others stay home. Everyone is different in what they need to do for themselves. But for me being in the house is the absolute worst. It's really a shame because I'm unable to lay down during the day at all even if I have a migraine headache. Hoping that this is going to end and I'm going to turn the corner soon. I wish the same for you. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

That level and type of fear and panic is the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It’s impossible to put into words when talking to doctors or family members or friends. It’s just the most indescribable terror that hijacks the inside of my brain. I’m afraid of every little thing In this world and it plays off of all my thoughts. It distorts things. It puts an awful spin on the way I see the world. It makes my hands shake and everything else twitch. It just feels like a complete overload with every horror movie I’ve ever seen narrating my personal hell. There’s just no comparison for me. The worst symptom ever. And making it worse there’s not a thing in the world that can relax it for me.

Yes to everything you said. I could not agree more. I feel the exact same way. I do get little breaks on occasion. For example last night it lightened up some and I felt so happy. Then at 12:30 a.m. it just came raging back and it's been with me ever since. Over the last week I've had a few breaks for some hours and then it comes raging back every time. It's the most discouraging thing ever and that's putting it mildly.

That sounds exactly like a prototypical day and night for me. The nights are by far the worst time for me. Around 8 pm I start ramping up into a state of panic and there’s only two outcomes that can happen. Either I eventually fall asleep or it’ll turn into tremendous panic attack. If that happens it turns into catastrophic thinking and usually won’t end until I can find a human being to talk me back into this world. The only positive thing I have come across is that after a terrible attack and I talk and I cry and it’s truly awful I will then calm down rapidly. It’s like the huge build up and the peak and then some slight relief and fatigue. I can usually sleep then. I just wish I didn’t have to go through all this suffering just for a few hours of sleep

For me, it always helps to get up and start moving.  Sometimes it is incredibly hard, but I force myself to get up, get dressed and ready for the day.  Usually by about 1:00 the anxiety starts to lift and then it is usually gone by evening.    Right now I feel like I am in a fog of anxiety.  It is low grade with me all day. 

 

You described it perfectly! 

That level and type of fear and panic is the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It’s impossible to put into words when talking to doctors or family members or friends. It’s just the most indescribable terror that hijacks the inside of my brain. I’m afraid of every little thing In this world and it plays off of all my thoughts. It distorts things. It puts an awful spin on the way I see the world. It makes my hands shake and everything else twitch. It just feels like a complete overload with every horror movie I’ve ever seen narrating my personal hell. There’s just no comparison for me. The worst symptom ever. And making it worse there’s not a thing in the world that can relax it for me.

 

It does hijack our brains.  We see everything through the awful lense of our anxiousness. 

 

I hope it goes away for you soon.

By the way, my quit date if March 14, 2020.  You are about 11 days behind me.  I have had some really good days in the last six months, but today is not one of them.    It does keep getting better, but when you are in a wave, it is not pleasant and it is hard to see a way forward.

Is it like this for others? It will ease up for a few minute and it's like, Oh, thank God, it's gone. And a few minutes later it comes roaring back. There's never any real time to get comfortable.

 

It is discouraging to hear this is happening two years in.

Decatur,

I'm sorry that you're struggling again. But it sounds like at least you get part of the day that's doing somewhat better so that's a definite positive. The fact that you've done as well as you have over the last number of months this is probably not going to last that much longer for you. But I'm right there struggling so badly the last number of months have been worse than ever and these last few weeks have been unbearable. It's really hard to go on. But we don't have a choice.

LiveLife

By the way, my quit date if March 14, 2020.  You are about 11 days behind me.  I have had some really good days in the last six months, but today is not one of them.    It does keep getting better, but when you are in a wave, it is not pleasant and it is hard to see a way forward.

 

Thank you for the words. Sometimes the amount of time alone is enough to slam me in a fog Of panic. In my head I tell myself there’s something wrong that this is still happening to me. The time alone can drive me crazy. Rather than looking at it like I just made through this much in a positive manner, I can only judge and chastise myself. I want some freedom in all of this.

Is it like this for others? It will ease up for a few minute and it's like, Oh, thank God, it's gone. And a few minutes later it comes roaring back. There's never any real time to get comfortable.

 

It is discouraging to hear this is happening two years in.

 

Absolutely understand. If I ever do get an hour or two off here and there I spend the whole time just thinking and worrying about when I’m gonna fall again. Even in my rare good times I can’t enjoy it because of the fear it actually instills in the next time. It’s like this sick sick vicious circle.

I'm so sorry and I understand exactly how you feel. I really do. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be on your own. But we are all here to support you and help you get through this. We are going to make it! You have been through so much and you're probably getting very close to the end. We have to hang on to that thought to help us get through each day. But it is very possible any day you could just wake up feeling better. I don't know if you ever saw neighbor Bob's videos? But, he was feeling absolutely horrible went to bed and woke up in the morning completely healed. Wouldn't that be wonderful! Hugs!

 

LiveLife

I'm so sorry and I understand exactly how you feel. I really do. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be on your own. But we are all here to support you and help you get through this. We are going to make it! You have been through so much and you're probably getting very close to the end. We have to hang on to that thought to help us get through each day. But it is very possible any day you could just wake up feeling better. I don't know if you ever saw neighbor Bob's videos? But, he was feeling absolutely horrible went to bed and woke up in the morning completely healed. Wouldn't that be wonderful! Hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

Just waking up completely healed is the most incredible though I could possibly think of. I don’t even think I’m being unreasonable. If I could just get through a day and night without crying and panicking like this I’d take it. At least I’d be able to start doing small things in life. I just need to get out of this cage

I completely understand how you feel. I feel exactly the same way. I just had an absolutely horrific night and right now the fear is definitely off the charts barely, hanging on. I've been in a group on here for 12 to 24 month people. We've all pretty much graduated past the 24-month Mark or at least most of us. Everyone else is doing much better than I am. That can be an encouragement . If they're getting better so can we. Try to hold on to that thought. Things could change anytime and we could start really improving. I have read because this is not linear that the severity of our symptoms has nothing to do with how much longer we're going to be this way. I'm just wondering are you able to watch television to distract? I'm not because it's too much of a sensory overload. There isn't much that I can do to distract. This really is a nightmare. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

Almost every single day I force myself to go out and walk two miles even though I feel like crap. Listening to music while walking helps me do this and I am so grateful for it. I am now aerobically fit and pray that will help my brain as well as lots of other parts of me. But my main goal is to help my brain. Sitting still or staying in bed would drive me crazy...

I totally hear u. Unfortunately I can’t walk more than a few feet due to a very severe injury during a hit and run BUT I still put earbuds in and do as much as I possibly can. Inside me I want to run so badly. Just run and sweat and expend the energy and adrenaline but running doesn’t exist haha. But I’ll keep walking as far as I can.

I totally hear u. Unfortunately I can’t walk more than a few feet due to a very severe injury during a hit and run BUT I still put earbuds in and do as much as I possibly can. Inside me I want to run so badly. Just run and sweat and expend the energy and adrenaline but running doesn’t exist haha. But I’ll keep walking as far as I can.

 

I'm so sad for you. Can you heal from this injury? I was hit by a car over two years ago and it took a lot of hard work to get back to walking again. I am now still suffering from damage done to my knees, but I am still amazingly able to walk. Steps and getting up from chairs is painful and I imagine I have surgery in my future, but I cannot handle that yet. Perhaps because I was in training for years (as far as walking is concerned) kind of helped me (muscle memory ?) get back to it. But yes, I love to sweat and just feel like I'm doing something rather than just getting stiffer and stiffer on the couch. Yes, please keep walking as far as you can. I use earbuds also and at times, I can picture myself out there walking even though I am not. Visualization is a wonderful tool.

Somehow I lived through the damage but unfortunately I will never heal. My leg was crushed between two bumpers at a high rate of speed. Miraculously they saved it and rebuilt it with some serious titanium. But I was left with a neuro pain disorder called CRPS that doesn’t go away. They have me filled with 24 hours worth of opiates permanently so I can stand up and walk but I’ve fought so hard through it it almost killed me. I’m so tired of the unending and unbearable pain…I’m not entirely sure where this plays into benzo withdrawal but I’m sure it’s got its hand around my throat in more ways than one. Benzo withdrawal has been so incredibly awful for me that the pain almost took a back seat focus wise. Maybe the only benefit here cause if the w/d does ever end this is what I have to look forward to. Scary enough CRPS us know as the SUICIDE DISEASE. So I don’t know which is killing me faster lol. Sorry. Not funny

Somehow I lived through the damage but unfortunately I will never heal. My leg was crushed between two bumpers at a high rate of speed. Miraculously they saved it and rebuilt it with some serious titanium. But I was left with a neuro pain disorder called CRPS that doesn’t go away. They have me filled with 24 hours worth of opiates permanently so I can stand up and walk but I’ve fought so hard through it it almost killed me. I’m so tired of the unending and unbearable pain…I’m not entirely sure where this plays into benzo withdrawal but I’m sure it’s got its hand around my throat in more ways than one. Benzo withdrawal has been so incredibly awful for me that the pain almost took a back seat focus wise. Maybe the only benefit here cause if the w/d does ever end this is what I have to look forward to. Scary enough CRPS us know as the SUICIDE DISEASE. So I don’t know which is killing me faster lol. Sorry. Not funny

 

Not funny at all. I'm so sorry. Some of us really have to tolerate so much. I can't imagine what you're going through and I suddenly feel lucky for where I am even though it is such a suffering place.

Somehow I lived through the damage but unfortunately I will never heal. My leg was crushed between two bumpers at a high rate of speed. Miraculously they saved it and rebuilt it with some serious titanium. But I was left with a neuro pain disorder called CRPS that doesn’t go away. They have me filled with 24 hours worth of opiates permanently so I can stand up and walk but I’ve fought so hard through it it almost killed me. I’m so tired of the unending and unbearable pain…I’m not entirely sure where this plays into benzo withdrawal but I’m sure it’s got its hand around my throat in more ways than one. Benzo withdrawal has been so incredibly awful for me that the pain almost took a back seat focus wise. Maybe the only benefit here cause if the w/d does ever end this is what I have to look forward to. Scary enough CRPS us know as the SUICIDE DISEASE. So I don’t know which is killing me faster lol. Sorry. Not funny

 

Not funny at all. I'm so sorry. Some of us really have to tolerate so much. I can't imagine what you're going through and I suddenly feel lucky for where I am even though it is such a suffering place.

 

Thank you. I tell everyone that the condition with my leg is easier to deal with on a day to day basis. There’s pain management and there’s meds. But I can look at my leg and see where the pain is and I know why it’s there. To me the emotional mind game and how creative it is with its symptoms and suffering can be light years harder to deal with. If I had to pick one of the two to end tonight I’d probably pick the withdrawal. I can cry about my leg forever later on haha