Worst symptom. Looking for reassurance.

This is one of, if not the worst, symptom that I have.

 

It's hard to explain because it's not something I've ever felt before, which is kind of the problem. I think it's definitely made worse by DPDR, or is directly part of it, but here goes:

 

Nothing feels the same. It's like all my emotions, when I can feel them, don't feel normal, or right, or like they used to. Through time I was able to sort of distinguishing what I'm feeling, but it all feels very bizarre, like it belongs to someone else, or that they're coming from some weird alternative world. It's a very toxic, tainted, dread-like feeling. But not the same as it normally feels. I even get this with positive emotions, when they come up. They jsut don't process the same way they used to or feel the same.

 

For example, if I get in a fight with a friend, it now feels like this unbearable, body-seeping feeling of dread, doom, a never-ending feeling of falling into some abyss or some crap. It's not the same "Wow this feels bad but it's my emotions and I'll get through it." It doesn't feel like this world.

 

Can someone please reassure me that this is related to coming off these drugs, that I don't have brain damage and this isn't permanent? Please, I need some hope and understanding.

 

 

Anyone? Am I alone on this one?

I hear you. It is the same for me.

 

I'm so sorry. I know it's awful.

I've had this since month 5, with everything from good to bad things.  It's like for me,  as if,  I can't appreciate anything because I don't feel right. If it's bad I can't handle it at all and it makes me really unwell. The happy thing is painful,  it's like I'm an imposter in my own happiness

Has anyone had this and had it go away?

Has anyone had this and had it go away?

    Yes, I have. It's gone now just like everything else I had. I believe these drugs changed the way we process emotions while taking them. To be more clear, these drugs while on them, I believe, make us more numb... sure we experienced emotions while on Benzos, but we did not experience the depth of the emotion as we would have if not on the drug. I think once we remove the benzo from are system, the intensity of the emotions felt, can most certainly be overwhelming. I believe this to be true across the board for all emotions happiness, sadness, anger, you name it. I feel this was true in my case. I cannot recommend enough going to a therapist during this. No drugs, just have someone you can talk to about your emotions and what's going on in your head when feeling these strong emotions. It helped alot for me. I believe it is all part of the "rewiring" process are brains go through. Please know you dont have brain damage, I thought I did too, so many times, for so many different reasons! With the exception of tight muscles in different parts of my body, I have made a darn near full recovery. In time, I have no doubt it will be a full recovery.  I know it is scary, that is why I promised myself I would come back here from time to time to try and help others understand this nightmare ends. Hang in there, I promise with time this gets better.

This helps a ton. Thank you.

Did this go away for you?

Yes , I have had this along with other insane metal issues and at 50 months they are just about gone, just hang on and let the days pass by is all you can do. Normal people have a cap on their anxiety or whatever it is that bothers them but in our state there is no cap and it just overfills and makes us feel much more terrible than we should.