Negativity to Positivity how can I change?

Those of you who are able to fight through this and remain convinced we will all recover, I need some pointers how to change my thought process around. I freely admit, before this nightmare I wasn’t most positive of people, but never felt like I didn’t want to wake up some mornings. I think because I don’t get windows or much change in mental symptoms, keeping belief we will recover is harder.

I had very emotionally abusive mother, therapy helped but, but her parting gift when she died to secretly change her will, and leave everything to my sister who saw her once year  taken it’s toll on recovery. I wonder if feelings were suppressed for years on zopiclone.

I have trawled through success stories but few have taken this long to recover.

Are there any mantras, things that assist you, you can share. Just want the capacity to feel emotion, hope, joy ,love, back again, but no idea how to try and regain it. Briefly list things tried,I’ve tried various hobbies, mindfulness, CBT, various therapists, brain retraining course waste money, self help books, exposure therapy , take plenty exercise. Keep thinking maybe I am just a very weak person, I do get waves, but only had one brief window and the mental symptoms never actual ease. Keep thinking I must be flawed in some way to still be trapped in this half life.

 

 

Hello Leann, have you ever been to a counselor, sometimes these emotions or lack of can be deep seated in your past, maybe talking with a professional may help.

I have seen several different therapists, did help with dealing with how my mother was, but not anxiety. All went out window last year, when found out her and sister colluded to secretly change her will and lied about it. Am coming to terms with it but definitely delayed recovery . I think maybe like opening Pandora’s  box being made to CT, as zopiclone calmed me down when I was stressed.

No one else? Need a bit of help to beat this negative hole I’m in😢

Hi Leann

 

May sound a bit simplistic but have you ever tried anything like the 6 minute Diary (Dominic Spenst) or similar - it’s all about practicing gratitude and appreciating the good things in life, if at the start it’s very simple things like running water, electricity, a bird singing, smiling at someone on the street. May sound daft but there’s a lot in it, and I have massively over simplified it.

No I haven’t I’ll give it a try. Was hoping few more people might responded, maybe everyone else feeling negative as well!

 

I have trawled through success stories but few have taken this long to recover.

 

 

Hi leann,

 

I wanted to make sure you were aware of these success stories in case you missed them.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=102142.0

 

Pamster

No I hadn’t seen those don’t venture on protracted board much. I’ll give them a read thanks.

leann, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle and the feelings of rejection you have.  How crushing that must have been!  I was abandoned by my father at birth and believe it had a lifelong impact on me.  Even though my mom was wonderful,  I was very unhappy and insecure as child because of it.  I believe it contributed to deep insecurity as an adult.   

 

To stay positive I use a combination of things like CBT techniques, breathing, counting my blessings,  trying to refocus on positive things, etc.  When I get really down or anxious I have to avoid the news.  Aside from those things, my greatest source of hope and comfort come from my faith.  I often read the Psalms when I'm in a dark place.  “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.” "How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings."