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RIDICULOUS DOCTOR QUOTES---ADD YOURS HERE


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If it weren't so sad, frustrating, expensive, demoralizing and humiliating, these might actually be funny.

 

Post your "favorite" quote from a physician who, regardless of his/her credentials, is totally clueless about benzo usage, tolerance, tapering, withdrawal, post acute withdrawal, kindling effect and protracted withdrawal.

 

Mine from today (an "addictionologist"):

 

"You'd feel better if you weren't so hypervigilant"

"You really need to stay off the internet"

"You only really have withdrawal if you go from, say 8 mg. of klonopin down to nothing in a day"

"You're very clearly agitated so I recommend an antipsychotic"

 

Not making light of anyone's suffering, because I truly want to scream about my own

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Oh I like this thread. I have one to add.

 

When I told my doctor that I was having some side effects from the Klonopin after being on for a few weeks and I pointed out that I had highlighted them on the medical literature that comes with the prescription he said...

 

"You won't get those"

 

Then there was this line..when I said that I wanted to stop taking Klonopin...

 

"If you do, your anxiety will return"

 

The funny thing about this one is, I have never had anxiety in my life....I was put on K for sleep issues.

 

When I reminded the doc of this..his comment was.. "Oh, you are right." Then he changed the subject.

 

TC

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Me... "Dr, I think I am getting addicted to all these meds"?

Dr...  "Yes that can happen and so I suggest you continue your medicine" WTF!! :idiot:

 

Me..."Dr, please don't prescribe anymore Clonazepam or Hydrocodone, I want to quit!"

Dr... "I don't suggest that, going off your meds will result in terrible withdrawls"

 

Me... "Dr, I mean it! I want no more medicine, please help me stop all this"

Dr... "Ok, I need to see you back in a month"

 

A week before every visit, I always give a blood sample for lab work to check my system. This time I notice there is no paper work in which to schedule my lab work prior to my next visit. I ask the doctor and he says "nah, we don't need to do the lab/blood this next time 'cause your system checks out just fine right now and besides you want to quit your meds and that will change your results" Again, WTF!!!!!!!!!!  :tickedoff:

 

As I walk out, the frickin' nurse comes up and hands me a script for 90 1.0mg clonazepam w/1 refill, and 120 5/500mg hydrocodone w/1 refill.

GOOD GOD! Is this guy really a MD??  :-\

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I have one to add too. After my doctor said it was fine to cold turkey xanax and I was extremely ill and confused and calling him and asking for help, he told me to "Quit acting like Michael Jackson and get it together".  Yup I am not making that one up unfortunately!
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"Westerners are too assertive"

 

"If you die, of course nobody will care"

 

"You should go back to your own country, you need a transplant"

 

"You don't even know what the words I use mean"

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Me: I don't want to increase the xanax, I want to decrease it. I think my body has become dependent on it.

 

Doctor: Why are you always worrying about getting addicted? I can have you off the xanax in five days no problem. Just try the increased dose to see if it helps.

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When I said I didn't want to be on four different meds: "You know, you don't get into heaven based on the number of meds you take."  (Gee, no, doc?)

 

When I said I wanted to taper Klon using the Ashton Method: "Forget that.  I can get you off 3 mgs. of clonazepam in a month!  Two tops!"  (Yeah, in some padded room somewhere!)

 

And, of course, the usual: "Well, if you were a diabetic, you'd take your insulin, right?"  (Yeah, like my body NEEDS Klonopin to live...)

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CW,

 

A good response to your doctor could have been..."Quit acting like Micheal Jackon's doctor." :)

 

TC

 

:laugh:  lol@ TC - that's hilarious!!

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You got all of that in one visit?!!!!!!!  Oh.  My.  God.

 

You have to admit, though, the level of stupidity exhibited is a smidge funny.  Sorry it had to happen to you.  Sigh.  Time for a new doctor.

 

Hang in there, Maranatha.  We're all gunning for you. 

 

--Bluegus

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I love this thread....

 

Me. I am so scared having strange sensations I think i'm tapering to quickly.

 

Dr. No it's your anxiety all in your head you are not going thru benzo WD. YOu wer't on it long enough and your MG's was low...I can put you in inpatient have u off the drug in a few days

 

Me. PLease don't i'm almost finished w/ the taper please let me finish yyou will never see me again

 

Dr. OK

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Have heard all of these except the Michael Jackson one!

 

Another one...

 

Me:  "Even my husband is very concerned about all of this"

 

Doctor:  "That's because you keep complaining to him"

 

 

Another one...

 

When telling the doctor about agitation in withdrawal he says

 

"So how long have you had these up and down episodes of mania and depression--since you were a child?" (the typical "you're bipolar" argument)

 

 

 

Me:  "Even though I've been in communication with hundreds of people around the world going through this, I'm blowing this way out of proportion?"

Doc:  "Stay off the internet...there's too many kooks out there"

 

Doc in ER:  "You know there's something called the "fight or flight" syndrome, but you have to learn how to relax and control it or you'll be a drug addict your whole life"  Thanks Doogie Howser

 

 

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I think Doogie Howser was much smarter than my former doctor...:) thats right former....cause he is FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!

 

Sorry, I just wanted to say that. :)

 

TC

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GREAT THREAD IDEA!! :thumbsup:

 

 

Me: "I need help tapering off this adivan"

Doctor:"you have not been on long..you can just stop taking it alot of people do."

Me: "Yeah, and suffer tremendously!!"

Doctor: "Well, No pain no gain!!!"

 

Doctors are mean!!

 

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Oh and have to add

 

Me: "Pull up this link to the manual online"

 

Doctor pulls up the Ashton manual and give an annoyed rolling eyes smirk.

 

Doctor: "Oh its a UK site, figures."

 

 

Like just because it is from the UK it makes it meaningless?? GRRRRR

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LAST ONE I PROMISE!! hehe  this is the previous doctor I was working with after I unknowingly Ct.

 

I called him as I was still not stable off a  higher dose he prescribed me as I was not taking them regularly like he instructed and just finally found this sight the night before found out this whole ordeal was benzo withdrawal. and called him to talk about tapering.

 

Me: I finally found out the problem! I have been taking adivan for 4-5 as needed and stopped and realized that what caused this.

Doctor: you call too much, you cannot be calling me this much.

Me: I would like to talk to you about tapering off of this or crossing to valium.

Doctor: I have only met you twice I have no idea who you are and what you are doing with all these drugs I have been prescribing you! I will not be prescribing you anything else from now on!

 

Let me just note that Yes I was calling alot and the doctor was charging me $50 per call! but I was a wreck and in c/t interdose withdrawals and thought I was going crazy. I attempted many times to make an appointment and he insisted that doing call consults was best so it was not MY fault he only met me twice.. Over these phone consults he had faxed out several prescriptions for different anti-depressants, Ambian one time (which I never filled) I never once asked for more benzos until i found out I needed to taper.. by him saying "I dont know what your doing with all these drugs I'm prescribing you" I so badly wanted to say "what you think I'm slinging my zoloft pills on the streets for money, cuz you know a/d's are the new thing now right??" LOL

 

Lets just say I never once spoke to him again and when I am well I plan to write a very long letter about how upset he made me and treating me like a drug seeker!

 

 

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Yes, this is an awesome thread.  I don't mean to laugh, but I totally LOLed through this whole thing.  Docs are sooooo not smart.  So I had been on klonopin for like a few months and then I stopped and I of course started having withdrawals, so I called my doc and he said, "OH, no that's just your anxiety.  It's already been a whole week, the medicine is out of your system by now."  Sure.  He still reinstated me.  Then he quit his family practice rather suddenly and refused to fill my prescription for my antidepressants one more time before I got to a new doc... like it was my fault I was a drug addict!  And wasn't he the one that told me whatever I do DON'T stop the antidepressants all at once???  I don't get doctors.  Wow.. that one about Michael Jackson is just crazy.  They really can be cruel at times.
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My 68 year old mother recently went to the doctor fora sinus infection.

 

While she was there she told the doctor that she is stressed out because of a situation she is dealing with concerning her mother who is 97 years old.

 

The doctor said "Oh, I will write you a prescription for xanax".

 

My mother looked at him and said "Isn't that a benzo?"

 

The doctor looked at her and was astonished that she knew what  it was and answered " Yes, it is."

 

She said "my daughter was on them and has been terribly sick for a long time.  They are horribly addictive !!"

 

The doctor said " Yes , they are ." 

 

My mother said "  Then why are you giving them to me? "

 

He could not answer that question.  She now understood the world of benzo pushing doctors and how we get addicted.

 

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My 68 year old mother recently went to the doctor fora sinus infection.

 

While she was there she told the doctor that she is stressed out because of a situation she is dealing with concerning her mother who is 97 years old.

 

The doctor said "Oh, I will write you a prescription for xanax".

 

My mother looked at him and said "Isn't that a benzo?"

 

The doctor looked at her and was astonished that she knew what  it was and answered " Yes, it is."

 

She said "my daughter was on them and has been terribly sick for a long time.  They are horribly addictive !!"

 

The doctor said " Yes , they are ." 

 

My mother said "  Then why are you giving them to me? "

 

He could not answer that question.   She now understood the world of benzo pushing doctors and how we get addicted.

 

 

Wow great example!! Left the doctor speechless! I Love it!! See some good does come out of our suffering your mother was saved from this EVIL drug!! that is a blessing!!

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My 68 year old mother recently went to the doctor fora sinus infection.

 

While she was there she told the doctor that she is stressed out because of a situation she is dealing with concerning her mother who is 97 years old.

 

The doctor said "Oh, I will write you a prescription for xanax".

 

My mother looked at him and said "Isn't that a benzo?"

 

The doctor looked at her and was astonished that she knew what  it was and answered " Yes, it is."

 

She said "my daughter was on them and has been terribly sick for a long time.  They are horribly addictive !!"

 

The doctor said " Yes , they are ." 

 

My mother said "  Then why are you giving them to me? "

 

He could not answer that question.   She now understood the world of benzo pushing doctors and how we get addicted.

 

 

Unbelieveable. This should be criminal!!!! I don't understand how it is not. Thank goodness your Mother knew all about it and was able to avoid this poison.

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Hilarious thread!

 

Me ... "You do realize, don't you, that after taking Valium for several years on a daily basis, going off a low dose will cause the same withdrawal syndrome as going off a high dose ..."

 

Doc ... "Well now let's not make a big deal out of it, just break em up in pieces and taper em down for a week or so, and go off, they're only 2 mg Valium pills, after all ..."

 

Me ... "Doctor, have you ever taken benzos yourself ..."

 

Doc ... "Actually, no I haven't ..."

 

Me ... "Hmm, I didn't think so ..."

 

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd188/nannham/giggle.gif

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"they gave me 1mg clonazepam before my surgery. i rather enjoyed it."

 

"reduce by .125 every 3-5 days, if you need to put some more under your tongue because it's too soon, that's ok"

 

 

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