Questioning whether still withdrawal or am I crazy?

When things go on this long, and I don’t improve despite trying umpteen self help methods, CBT techniques, therapy, starting to wonder maybe I am just crazy. Has anyone else had doubts whether their symptoms are really withdrawal. Logic tell me I wouldn’t realise if I was actually crazy, and never had any of these symptoms before withdrawal. If I was an animal I would be put down to end this misery. I haven’t helped in some ways, listening to stupid GP trying AD, plus did take the odd rescue dose last year when going through emotional stress. But my brain telling me if I was going to recover, after 40 months would seen some improvement in mental symptoms surely. Not feel worse than I did 18 months ago??? Just feel very lost, therapy doesn’t help, more meds don’t help, in my own private hell. This feels like I have been in a car crash, helpless badly injured, you expect people to help you , but everyone just passes by, no one rings the emergency services, no one rescues you, tries to comfort you, you just lay there slowly getting worse, the longer it goes on the more you loose any hope recovery from your injuries is going to happen.

 

 

 

 

Hi Leann, I’m so sorry you are having to endure all this suffering. I don’t know what to say, I feel for you.

I felt a bit like that mid withdrawal but nothing like what you are going through.

I remember thinking that I would change ONE thing to try feeling better so I took a can of beans in each hand and did 20 arm raises above my head. I thought, if I can do this everyday I can’t be too sick.

I have got some proper weights now and do it occasionally but it helped my mind at the time.

Big hug Hardy

I know just how you feel.  I lost my girlfriend because of this and I also lost all my friends.  I have a couple family members I'm close to but I'm sure they're tired of hearing me moan and complain.  I saw a therapist for a year but it really didn't help.  He tried to teach CBT skills but that only goes so far. There is only so much you can do mentally when there is physical damage like this.  My primary care doctor that prescribed the benzos to me doesn't have a clue, even though I have explained it all.  I really feel I wasn't give fair disclosure to the dangers of this drug.  The neurologist I saw was clueless also.  I have never felt so lonely.  Probably because I have never been so alone.  I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines watching life pass by.  Hope is all we have, and each other for support...  I'm in my late 50s now and single and wondering if I will even ever be able to go on a date again.  Hope is what keeps me going.  I believe our bodies can heal from anything in time.

Thank you both for replying, I know people get fed up with those of us that take long time to recover. But it’s very lonely place to be, when everyone else seems to be improving or getting windows😢

Leann...girl you ARE going to make it. You might be one of those that may take a little longer - I'm not going to sugar coat it. But maybe its also just around the corner and you don't have typical windows like others do. Some ppl say it sucked for years and then it was like someone flipped a switch.

 

I know you feel lost and forgotten...and I'm so sorry. I have a friend on here who still gets really intense waves and then just feels crappy. the once in awhile feels normal-ish. And she's further out than me. Its heartbreaking.

 

But you are not alone on here. And we get it. So here you are safe and supported. So vent away you need.

I'm sending you a big fat hug...

 

Trina

Thank you so much Trina, really needed that at the moment. I can understand people getting fed up with ones like me that keep on moaning. Keep blaming myself for listening to stupid GP and taking AD’s as well? Just soul destroying when things stay static for ever😢