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Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired


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I hate to admit it but I'm losing this fight. I am exhausted and without hope. I quit klonopin, which I used intermittently for insomnia for years, ct in January. I am a fraction of the person I used to be.  As I write this. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I haven't slept in 3 days and wake up with intrusive thoughts or in terror.  I don't know if I should have quit the drug at this point. Everything and everybody feels weird to me. I feel utterly disconnected from life and have no idea who I am. I want to go back and revisit the happier me but I fear she is gone for good.  I don't know what to do anymore. This is not living. This is hell.  :'(

 

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I want you to know I hear you and I see you. There are days we feel we will never get our lives back. This process is so unfair. I hate that we have to surrender to time because we have no control over it.

 

Please know this phase is temporary. Your present is not your future. This will pass and you too will recover like all our success stories. One day you won't even remember today.

 

Just keep going. You're stronger than you think. You can beat this. You're going to be okay.  :smitten:

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Your post brought me to tears. I do pray you are right. Thank you 100 times over and God bless you. I'm barely hanging on but I'm still hanging.
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Your post brought me to tears. I do pray you are right. Thank you 100 times over and God bless you. I'm barely hanging on but I'm still hanging.

 

This is all you have to do. Hang on moment to moment. You are still early in your recovery yet you have conquered 5 months! I promise you your time will come. You are not forgotten. It will happen for you too.

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I quit cold turkey too and know what you're going through, the loss of self is devastating but as jelly baby said this is temporary.  You're right, this isn't living but it is surviving and that's what you're doing by getting through each second of the day.

 

Your brain is doing the work it was designed to do before the drug was introduced, its repairing and rebuilding so trust in your magnificent brain and know it will make you whole again.  Your only job is to survive and you've already survived 5 months.  I survived out of pure stubbornness, I refused to give up the misery I'd already endured by going back to the drug and that stubborn streak saved me in the end, I hope you have it too.

 

When I recovered I was euphoric, its a high I'll never forget and I want that for you too so please hang on and know your time is coming if you stay the course.  We're here for you so talk to us when you're feeling hopeless, lean on our collective strength.  :smitten:

 

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I hate to admit it but I'm losing this fight. I am exhausted and without hope. I quit klonopin, which I used intermittently for insomnia for years, ct in January. I am a fraction of the person I used to be.  As I write this. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I haven't slept in 3 days and wake up with intrusive thoughts or in terror.  I don't know if I should have quit the drug at this point. Everything and everybody feels weird to me. I feel utterly disconnected from life and have no idea who I am. I want to go back and revisit the happier me but I fear she is gone for good.  I don't know what to do anymore. This is not living. This is hell.  :'(

 

Prayerful,

Keep praying! Trust God for your recovery. I am sorry you are not feeling well and not sleeping.  Try taking hot baths with epsom salts before bedtime and read until you're tired. A cup of tea might help too. Also try the weighted blankets.

 

I am also going through it right now. I still have 2 weeks to taper but have been feeling the horrible withdrawal symptoms since January. I keep going one day at a time by God's grace and mercy. I'll be praying for you.

 

 

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Thank you Jelly Baby, Pamster, and Pixie 777.  I wish you were my neighbors.  I'm hanging on by a string but still hanging. Desperate for some relief. 
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Thank you Jelly Baby, Pamster, and Pixie 777.  I wish you were my neighbors.  I'm hanging on by a string but still hanging. Desperate for some relief.

 

Maybe we are! Are you in USA?

But even if we are not, there's no distance too far for prayer!!

And that's where we meet.... praying for one another in the spirit.

Relief will come for both of us. Praying for you.

 

"And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us." Romans 5:4-5

 

 

 

 

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Thank you Jelly Baby, Pamster, and Pixie 777.  I wish you were my neighbors.  I'm hanging on by a string but still hanging. Desperate for some relief.

 

Maybe we are! Are you in USA?

But even if we are not, there's no distance too far for prayer!!

And that's where we meet.... praying for one another in the spirit.

Relief will come for both of us. Praying for you.

 

"And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us." Romans 5:4-5

 

Hello Pixie77,

 

We're a secular forum, please familiarize yourself with our policy and post to the appropriate board in the appropriate manner.  Here is our policy and some guidelines.

 

Pamster

 

Do not denigrate specific religions, ethnicities or cultures. Do not disparage those of another gender, gender identity or sexual orientation. We are a support group for all those experiencing problems with benzodiazepine use or withdrawal - this is our common bond. We do not tolerate prejudice in any form.

 

Additionally, please do not use this community to promote or proselytize a specific religious viewpoint.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=256445.0

 

Rules and Guidelines

 

 

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I hate to admit it but I'm losing this fight. I am exhausted and without hope. I quit klonopin, which I used intermittently for insomnia for years, ct in January. I am a fraction of the person I used to be.  As I write this. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I haven't slept in 3 days and wake up with intrusive thoughts or in terror.  I don't know if I should have quit the drug at this point. Everything and everybody feels weird to me. I feel utterly disconnected from life and have no idea who I am. I want to go back and revisit the happier me but I fear she is gone for good.  I don't know what to do anymore. This is not living. This is hell.  :'(

 

I just want you to know I am here with you and I am in this exact spot as we speak. Questioning why and wondering what to do. I feel we owe it to us to keep going. I too am absolutely exhausted to my core and feel like I am all alone. Please hang in there even though it feels impossible. Message me if you want to vent or talk anytime.

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I'm in South TX Pixie 777.  If you are too, I could use a friend to walk with.  Thanks again for your post.  Had another horrible day today but still hanging in there. Let me know if you are in fact my neighbor.
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I'm in South TX Pixie 777.  If you are too, I could use a friend to walk with.  Thanks again for your post.  Had another horrible day today but still hanging in there. Let me know if you are in fact my neighbor.

 

Hello Prayerful102,

 

Below are statements from our Rules and Guidelines and we have good reason for asking our members to adhere to them.  This is the internet, we never know who we're really talking to, I'm sure you're aware of the potential dangers of revealing your identity to strangers on the internet.  We have another reason for advising our members to be cautious and that's because once you reveal your personal information to another member we can no longer control the outcome.  Very personal information is shared on this forum by vulnerable and desperate people and once you make that personal connection, there is no way to undo it.  I can't tell you the number of times the team has been approached by members who went against our advice, gave out their personal information and have regretted it when things turned ugly. 

 

I'm not saying this would be the case here, I have no idea who either of you are but I want you both to go into this with your eyes wide open.  We can't stop members from taking this step but we can certainly warn them of the possible ramifications.

 

Pamster

 

We strongly advise members to remain anonymous. You should avoid creating a membership name which relates to your real name, or to names you use anywhere else online or in your real-world life.

 

You are not allowed to post your contact details to the BenzoBuddies forum, nor should you ask for the contact information of other members.  Virtual meetings and chats have become common and while chatting with others going through withdrawal may be helpful, we cannot ensure the anonymity of members will be protected. Links to any chats or requests to join, Facebook or any other social networking website which might potentially identify members' true identity are not allowed.

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