Author Topic: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired  (Read 421 times)

[Buddie]

I hate to admit it but I'm losing this fight. I am exhausted and without hope. I quit klonopin, which I used intermittently for insomnia for years, ct in January. I am a fraction of the person I used to be.  As I write this. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I haven't slept in 3 days and wake up with intrusive thoughts or in terror.  I don't know if I should have quit the drug at this point. Everything and everybody feels weird to me. I feel utterly disconnected from life and have no idea who I am. I want to go back and revisit the happier me but I fear she is gone for good.  I don't know what to do anymore. This is not living. This is hell.   :'(
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[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2022, 06:45:29 pm »
I want you to know I hear you and I see you. There are days we feel we will never get our lives back. This process is so unfair. I hate that we have to surrender to time because we have no control over it.

Please know this phase is temporary. Your present is not your future. This will pass and you too will recover like all our success stories. One day you won't even remember today.

Just keep going. You're stronger than you think. You can beat this. You're going to be okay.  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2022, 06:51:01 pm »
Your post brought me to tears. I do pray you are right. Thank you 100 times over and God bless you. I'm barely hanging on but I'm still hanging.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2022, 07:09:01 pm »
Your post brought me to tears. I do pray you are right. Thank you 100 times over and God bless you. I'm barely hanging on but I'm still hanging.

This is all you have to do. Hang on moment to moment. You are still early in your recovery yet you have conquered 5 months! I promise you your time will come. You are not forgotten. It will happen for you too.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2022, 09:34:22 pm »
I quit cold turkey too and know what you're going through, the loss of self is devastating but as [...] said this is temporary.  You're right, this isn't living but it is surviving and that's what you're doing by getting through each second of the day.

Your brain is doing the work it was designed to do before the drug was introduced, its repairing and rebuilding so trust in your magnificent brain and know it will make you whole again.  Your only job is to survive and you've already survived 5 months.  I survived out of pure stubbornness, I refused to give up the misery I'd already endured by going back to the drug and that stubborn streak saved me in the end, I hope you have it too.

When I recovered I was euphoric, its a high I'll never forget and I want that for you too so please hang on and know your time is coming if you stay the course.  We're here for you so talk to us when you're feeling hopeless, lean on our collective strength.  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2022, 09:47:27 pm »
I hate to admit it but I'm losing this fight. I am exhausted and without hope. I quit klonopin, which I used intermittently for insomnia for years, ct in January. I am a fraction of the person I used to be.  As I write this. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I haven't slept in 3 days and wake up with intrusive thoughts or in terror.  I don't know if I should have quit the drug at this point. Everything and everybody feels weird to me. I feel utterly disconnected from life and have no idea who I am. I want to go back and revisit the happier me but I fear she is gone for good.  I don't know what to do anymore. This is not living. This is hell.   :'(

Prayerful,
Keep praying! Trust God for your recovery. I am sorry you are not feeling well and not sleeping.  Try taking hot baths with epsom salts before bedtime and read until you're tired. A cup of tea might help too. Also try the weighted blankets.

I am also going through it right now. I still have 2 weeks to taper but have been feeling the horrible withdrawal symptoms since January. I keep going one day at a time by God's grace and mercy. I'll be praying for you.

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2022, 10:08:22 pm »
Thank you [...], [...], and Pixie 777.  I wish you were my neighbors.  I'm hanging on by a string but still hanging. Desperate for some relief. 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2022, 10:49:42 pm »
Prayers for all of you too.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2022, 06:18:14 pm »
Thank you [...], [...], and Pixie 777.  I wish you were my neighbors.  I'm hanging on by a string but still hanging. Desperate for some relief.

Maybe we are! Are you in USA?
But even if we are not, there's no distance too far for prayer!!
And that's where we meet.... praying for one another in the spirit.
Relief will come for both of us. Praying for you.

"And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us." Romans 5:4-5



Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Not sure I would have quit knowing what I know now....tired
« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2022, 11:08:54 pm »
Thank you [...], [...], and Pixie 777.  I wish you were my neighbors.  I'm hanging on by a string but still hanging. Desperate for some relief.

Maybe we are! Are you in USA?
But even if we are not, there's no distance too far for prayer!!
And that's where we meet.... praying for one another in the spirit.
Relief will come for both of us. Praying for you.

"And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us." Romans 5:4-5

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Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.