Are there any successful Rehab stories?

Hello all.

I am doing well with the physical aspects of my taper down of alprazolam but the mental side is what I need help with. I am getting near the end of the taoer and would like to meet with doctors and therapists who specialize in addiction. Yes I am dependent AND an addict. I need serious mental help. I always have.

If anyone has any input or success at a rehab with doctors(pcp or psychiatrist or therapist) (yes I can refuse meds) please respond.

My situation is not the same as yours.

Thank you.

I'd like to understand your situation a little better so I can speak to your concerns so let me first start out with my experience and what I've seen on the forum about rehab facilities.  I actually checked into one on day 3 of my cold turkey but left AMA that same night when I realized how sick I was getting and their answer was 2 doses of Klonopin and joining the general population the next day to learn the twelve steps. 

I've watched many members go to detox/rehab to get off the drug, they'll usually leave before treatment starts, walk out in the middle or complete the detox then go home to reinstate and do a slow taper because detox facilities will rip us off the drug too quickly.  What these places fail to take into account is how long recovery takes and the difference between being an addict and being dependent.  Sure, they can get us safely off the drug but what comes next they have no control over, our bodies determine the rate of recovery, not adjunct medications or group therapy.

I get the impression you're interested in seeking help after your taper, is this correct?  Are you interested in attending 12 step meetings?  I found them very useful when I quit alcohol but my relationship with benzo's is so different than my relationship with alcohol was.  For one thing, benzo's was never social for me like alcohol was so I didn't need to learn how to socialize without them and I'm so darn scared of them after this experience I don't crave them like I did alcohol.  Sure, there have been times when I've wished for relief from stress but the recovery from benzo's feels so good, I don't ever want to risk it again.  I do know some members who have used online 12 step groups to help them stay away.

I've read many members who talk about therapists and how much they've helped them with handling and overcoming the issues that sent them to benzo's in the first place but timing is important.  The acute stage right after becoming benzo free can be pretty intense so waiting until you're in a better place can make the process more successful.

I've probably missed the whole point of your post so please let me know how close I came. 

Well, I am not going to be ripped off the medicine too quickly. At this point, I am down to 3/4ths of .5 mg at night. As Dr. Ashton said herself that at this low of a dose, all I am doing is prolonging the dependence.

I don't know what the rehab place will do to get me off but I would rather be with doctors and other people rather than alone. Plus, I live with my alcoholic father which has previously been a trigger for me.

I just feel like I need to leave and never look back, come what may. There's no more place to run back to. I have been hiding and withdrawn from the world and if I don't at least try, I am not sure what will happen where I am.

I am beyond scared, maybe that is what it will take for me to at least try and make a life for myself.

There's a lot at stake. Maybe I will make it. Maybe I won't. But my mental state has, for most of my life been in a terrible state.

OR, just sit in my room, taper all the way off, hope for the best? At the rehab place I will be forced to go through it.

Maybe that is what I need.

I keep asking God. Today my sister called the place and wants me to go. My brother called and wants me to go to the same place. Deep down, I want help. I NEED a lot of help. Mostly mental.

Thank you.

I understand, you're overwhelmed and desperate and you're hoping someone has answers for you, and on top of that your family is supporting this choice.  Have you talked with them directly, do you know what services they provide, do they offer aftercare, how long is the stay there?  Would your other family members be willing to let you stay with them when you leave the facility? 

If you don't mind me asking, are benzo's your drug of choice?  I have to say I greatly admire you for being able to taper, I didn't know I needed to taper but I doubt I would have been able to.

I understand, you're overwhelmed and desperate and you're hoping someone has answers for you, and on top of that your family is supporting this choice.  Have you talked with them directly, do you know what services they provide, do they offer aftercare, how long is the stay there?  Would your other family members be willing to let you stay with them when you leave the facility? 

 

If you don't mind me asking, are benzo's your drug of choice?  I have to say I greatly admire you for being able to taper, I didn't know I needed to taper but I doubt I would have been able to.

Yes yes yes yes and yes.

And also I do like the 12 steps. NA.

Yes benzos are my drug of choice. Sadly.

In the past, long ago, I have used alcohol but rarely if ever drink now for years. I tried marijuana as a teen and once tried opium. Yuck to all of it.

As far as tapering, I know this is what I have to do and my body doesn't even want the drug anymore.

I feel like the stress of all this may kill me anyways. I don't mean that to be funny, it's true.

My life is unrecognizable. As am I.

I have been crying a lot lately too. I do feel as though I have given up years ago so I just don't know if I can come back from this. All of my friends and family seem to think I can so why don't I?

I'm gratified to hear your family hasn't given up on you, I had the support of mine when I quit alcohol and couldn't have done it without them so please, let their faith in you guide you out of this.  Benzo's tear us down in so many ways, they rob us of who we are, we no longer recognize ourselves but somehow we can come back from this and start connecting with ourselves and others.  I hope you can trust those who have gone before you when we say, there is hope.

This may be a good thing for you.  I went to detox for alcohol and I believe it helped me break the cycle of self destruction by providing structure and rules, I needed to learn to follow rules because I'd considered myself exempt for too long. 

I wonder if there are programs in your community you can look into for after you get out of rehab, has your family looked into anything like this?

I'm gratified to hear your family hasn't given up on you, I had the support of mine when I quit alcohol and couldn't have done it without them so please, let their faith in you guide you out of this.  Benzo's tear us down in so many ways, they rob us of who we are, we no longer recognize ourselves but somehow we can come back from this and start connecting with ourselves and others.  I hope you can trust those who have gone before you when we say, there is hope.

 

This may be a good thing for you.  I went to detox for alcohol and I believe it helped me break the cycle of self destruction by providing structure and rules, I needed to learn to follow rules because I'd considered myself exempt for too long. 

 

I wonder if there are programs in your community you can look into for after you get out of rehab, has your family looked into anything like this?

I literally broke down crying again right now after reading your phrase " let their faith in you guide you out of this"

I want that so badly.

As for after care, I may just have to go into sober living. I am sure my brother would take me in if need be.

Coming from lack of stability in life has rendered me unstable. I could never donthat for myself with job and housing since I was 31. I am now 48.

Who knows. It is said that Faith in God makes the way. He will make the way.

One thing is for certain as they all keep saying: I need help. Thank you for your genuine kindness. You had to go through this so you could help others. What a true light you are and your success is quite the testimony.

I would love to have a success story one day as well.

You're very welcome OneLadyforPeace, my heart aches for your pain but I see so much strength in you.  It takes courage to ask for help and even more to be willing to do what it takes and I can see you're ready. 

I hope you'll keep talking to us, and hope you can connect with a therapist but from what I've read here it sometimes takes a couple of tries to find someone who suits your needs so remember that this is a journey and sometimes there are detours but as long as we keep traveling we get to where we need to be.

I look forward to your success story from not only benzo's but from the challenges you've had to face in your life.  Its worth the work by the way, knowing peace, the kind that is almost euphoric is definitely worth it and your username tells me you want to know it too.

I do want to know peace.

I also have an avoidant personality and fear has had a grip on me as long as I can remember.

Be well.