I was just put on 30-day FMLA mental he disability leave - husband ends up in ER

This is a situation new to me - my mental health team and I finally got all the paperwork in & I officially started a 30 day FMLA and paid short term disability leave (disability insurance is through my employer) - on the very first day of leave, my husband had a painful abdominal attack with vomiting, we waited one day to see if it was food poisoning or 24 hour bug. On 2nd day, after dinner, pain returned and we went to ER

  Third day of leave, doc shows us image results - husband has a huge gallstone plus a few small ones, it's not blocking a duct or infected but needs surgical removal asap.  We were instructed what Dr. to see tomorrow and I expect he will have surgery this week.

So, I am disabled myself right now, although I have gotten used to the new AD I am on (Zoloft) and an holding at .3135 mgs clonazepam -- I need to know others like me have handled driving husband to & from drs. and hospital, light housework and meal prep, walking & feeding the two dogs, etc.  We have no relatives near our new home, we have an elderly neighbor who is wonderful but I would not expect her to help with anything physical.  I have been a nervous wreck -- I think my husband will do fine with the surgery but I am afraid of things at home during his 2  week (estimated recovery) not going well.  I have had a few panic attacks, then periods where I can't focus on anything.  We are doing lots of laundry today and more shopping tonight so things are ready when I drive him home from. hospital.

After watching how you've fought for yourself with your employer all the while performing admirably in your job I have no doubt you'll handle this as well.  I'm very sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and upcoming surgery but my first thought was, thank goodness you're on leave so you can take care of everything you need to, if there is such a thing as perfect timing for an unfortunate event, this is it.

 

What I've found is when faced with no choice while going through this, we find the strength to do what it takes and I know you will.  Your husband and your dogs are lucky to have you. 

Thank you Pamster - yes, we both (husband & I) said it, at least I don't have to deal with craziness from co-workers while he gets the gall bladder taken care of.  I just hate my anxiety, it's awful.

And I am concerned about my own disability status -- the paperwork is already in, I can't just call someone and say can we postpone my treatment plan for a month until my husband is through his Gall bladder situation?  I don't want to be accused of fraud by FMLA regulators nor the insurance company that handles disability.  The most strenuous thing I am planning to do is drive husband home from hospital after his surgery (hospital is an hour away). 

You're wise to make sure you're crossing those T's and dotting those I's, you certainly don't want to give them any ammunition. 

 

I was terribly afraid of driving but I had no choice just like you so I know you'll be okay, the worst part will be the anticipation.  I tend to do too much of that so when it comes to the actual event, its not nearly as bad as I've built it up to be.

Thanks - surgery is Friday, and he can come right home after 2 hours AND it's a local hospital (5 minute drive) -- if all goes well, the gall bladder is not that big of a deal.

However, they also found husband has a hernia and recommended a mesh surgery for later this summer , and restricted what he can lift to 15 lbs.  (Hmmm - our dogs weigh 20 poundsveach.)  We are going to get a 2nd opinion on that one.  We are both 59 and this more health issues at once than we have ever had to deal with alone.