Envy- Big Time

Hi Everyone,

 

In addition to my severe depression, anxiety, and fear, I have another negative emotion that is really impacting me- that is envy. I am so envious of anyone who has their mental health and anyone who is not going through Benzo withdrawal. I know some people are in the same boat as me, but the majority aren’t. I find it so hard to be around people who are laughing, smiling, full of energy, and enjoying life. I feel guilty having this emotion. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

Perserverance

I'm sorry you are in the hole but I thank you for this thread because it brought back some memories for me.  I very much recall feeling envious of the people here who had already had their taper behind them and were off benzos - particularly those who had also gotten their good sleep back.  I thought 'my' day would never come but here I am, two years off benzos and healed.

 

I do understand the guilt you are feeling about this Perseverence but it stinks when we don't/can't feel happy for those around us. But it simply is where you are right now.

Oh I am there as well!  I mainly just wish I knew how dangerous this evil drug was!  Ugh!  I see people all of the time with their cognition in tact and am super jealous of them!  I don't think you are the only one and I think it's somewhat normal to feel this way- to want to be normal again and get your life back.  That is not wrong! 

Hugs to you!  Be kind to yourself, you deserve to be happy, laughing and enjoying life too!  One day you will!!! 

I feel the same. Mostly I  keep remembering my life 7 months ago before being put on this drug and how great I felt. I could do anything and everything, now I feel like a cripple incapable of doing the simplest things I always did on a daily basis...I can hardly brush my dog, without severe pains shooting through my arms and neck.. :'(

I feel proud of myself sometimes.  I have experienced extreme human suffering - my body and mind were like a torture chamber at times and I am almost at the end of this nightmare.