Need some advice or insight into withdrawal and tapering

[[Buddie]]

I am really having trouble here. My guts are just making noises all the time, got the poops, head feels like its being blown up like balloon, I can't think straight, heart races on and off, burning skin on and off, tired all the time.
I think there is too much going on all at once. I am still working at my job until June 22nd and before that time I have a moving company coming, cancelling all my stuff here, moving to new Province, getting everything organized there, staring a new job that is a lot less pay. So from June 22nd to July 4th I have all these stressors and the stress of losing a job.

I just cannot think straight and I can't get away from all the stressors. I try to meditate and stretch and walk, but its not helping at all at this point.

I really need this to go away right now.

Maybe I am just ranting, but I am in a real bad spot right now and The disfunction of all of these symptoms are really throwing me for a loop.
I don't want to updates, but I am not stable and I think I need to go up to my previous dose of .25mg. I really think I went too quick because I didn't read up on these tapering methods. I just went from .5mg then down to .25mg and only gave it a few weeks, then went down to .125mg and that been like a week and half.
I went too quick without being informed.

[[Buddie]]

Going from 0.25 to 0.125 is a 50% cut. I know I wouldn't be able to tolerate it. If you're struggling to function then you can go back up. I had to updose twice after a 75% and a 50% cut to stabilize.  There's nothing wrong with it. You need to do what you need to do function. 

[[Buddie]]

I went back up to .25mg because the feeling and symptoms were unbearable at this point.
I have made a spreadsheet to calculate 5% Taper every month. I am not sure if its the best taper. Its going to take 2 years to get down to 0.06mg, but hoping that this will reduce the symptoms.
I am going to talk to my Doctor and see if I can get him on board with this.

[[Buddie]]

I'm glad you updosed. Hopefully you're feeling an improvement soon. I would hold this dose for a while until you feel stable.

You could attempt 5% every two weeks if you want? I know it seems like a never-ending process but we all get there eventually. It's more important to be functional than suffer day after day and rush the process. Please keep us updated regarding your doctor.

[[Buddie]]

So went to see my Doctor today to get more pills and to get him to understand the situation. Its a new doctor and has never prescribed me pills before, so he was hesitant about giving me the prescription. Also he said he want to put me on a 6 to 12 week taper plan.... I was none too happy about that. I explained to him what I was going through and that I am stabilizing and going to start tapering down again after I get used to my new job. He did not listen and was going to start me on the this fast taper.
Good thing I am moving Provinces and getting a new Doctor.
Here is a bit of Rant. If you are ever thinking of Moving to Saskatchewan Canada.... Don't... The people are nice and the economy is ok...But the healthcare system in the province is by far the worst I have ever had to deal with.

So long story short. Doctor want me to fast taper and I am not wanting  to be a part of that.

[[Buddie]]

How incredibly frustrating for you, I hope your new doctor will listen to and hear you. 

[[Buddie]]

Gosh I'm sorry you're doctor isn't supportive. Let's hope the new one understands your needs.

[[Buddie]]

So its been a while since I last posted. I have moved to Ontario with a new job, tough situation and The loss of my job, new job, moving and being humbled and beaten down by the situation is proving very hard.
I went back up in dose to stabilize, was back up to .25mg. Now I am down to .1875mg and I am keeping going.
New doctor and is on board with supplying me Clonazepam so thats good.
I am extremely overwhelmed and with these new stressors in my life my Anxiety is manifesting in Skin burning. Its a horrible feeling and I also have bad tension all over my body.
I guess I need some direction on what to do about these feelings. Is it the tapering or the fact that I am not coping well with my situation right now.
I have tried Ashwaganda for a couple days, but I am hesitant to take it as 2 days after starting big stressor of public speaking at work happened. now I am in shock and not having good thoughts.

[[Buddie]]

Its good to see you again [...], I'm sorry you've had so many life challenges but you were smart to go back up in dose.  I want to say that you're coping magnificently, the stress of moving and starting a new job is tough on anyone but for someone going through benzodiazepine withdrawal, its a super human feat!  Please give yourself credit for what you've been able to do and please hold your dose until things settle down. 

Your symptoms seem to be demanding you slow down so I hope you'll listen to them.  You know that once off the drug the symptoms will continue, the recovery phase can sometimes feel the same as withdrawing so use your taper to heal as you go so your recovery phase won't be so intense, that's the hope anyway.

I hear you on the supplements, what seems to help one person hurts the next so tread carefully.  I had several public speaking adventures at work when I was recovering and it was pretty ugly, shaking voice, no confidence and holy cow, those questions afterwards were tough on my benzo brain. 

[[Buddie]]

I am so happy you found a supportive doctor. It sounds like you were able to stabilize at 0.25mg which is good.

Your life stressors is pretty intense and it would be tough on anyone even those not going through withdrawal. I think what you're going through is withdrawal symptoms amplified by the stress and anxiety in your life. I know for me, anxiety contributes to a huge increase in symptoms. If I were you I would just hold my current dose for as long as I need to, so I have time to adjust to all the life changes.

You are doing amazingly well in your current circumstances. Hang in there, it will get better!