Author Topic: 34 months - clothes shopping, bars, pizza, space needle, boats, neurologist.  (Read 284 times)

[Buddie]

Hello benzo people,

I wanted to give you a 34 month update. I just got back from the bar, only it wasn't to drink alcohol. It's a local pizza place across the street, and I was hungry at midnight so I decided to go get a good pizza, instead of cooking the same old at home. I was able to go into the bar with tons of people, loud music, people partying. It didn't affect me at all, and I felt just like I did when I used to take pills, only without them.

I've been going to the beach multiple times a day, it's 0.4 miles there, the same back. I do that multiple times per day, and I sit on the Driftwood and stare at the ocean all by myself, even in the middle of the night. Sometimes I hang out in the pitch-black just so I can look at the lights across the sound. Every now and then people join me in the dark on the same beach, although we don't talk. It doesn't bother me at all, I'm not worried about the other people or who it is.

I've been going on lots of walks to the Space Needle as well, they have Gardens and glass artwork as well. I'm able to deal with heights no problem, whereas before I couldn't.

I go for boat rides every couple days all the way to the surrounding Islands, and I hang out on the beaches and get food from the vendors nearby. I hang out for at least a couple hours and sightsee and stop by the local shops before heading home. I'm able to stand on the front of the boat or on the top level, front or rear. Before I was getting some kind of weird ocean agoraphobia, where I felt like I was going to fall into the water because I wasn't near my home. Now that's all gone, and it's all normal again, just another day on the water. I don't have any worries about how long I'm gone from home, or whether or not I have everything I need on me.

I wasted a couple thousand dollars on clothes last year, because I wasn't able to go to the store and try them on. I had to do everything by mail and I didn't even have the brain capacity to send clothes back to the stores. Now I'm able to go try on shoes and get jeans and shirts that fit properly, and do returns. Turns out none of my clothes fit good, so it feels good to have fitting clothes again now that I'm not taking pills.

I went to my neurologist 2 days ago and talked to her about all of this benzos stuff. She was amazed that I took them for 20 years at that kind of dose, and she was amazed at the medical doctors who were willing to do that for so long. She said I'm one of the more extreme cases, and she's not surprised whatsoever that I'm still having symptoms. She said the good news is that my brain seems mostly healed at this point. She said there are certain circumstances where people just don't heal, but that doesn't seem to be the case with me. She's more than willing to help me with anything that I want at this point just about, as she knows what I've been through. She recommended CBD for sleep and lots of natural fish diet with B12, along with my current outdoor activities with hiking and the water and trees, as they have natural healing properties.

As for everybody else in society, I don't have any anxiety about any of them. Even when there's delusional people on the streets, big crowds in stores, authority figures, important appointments, you name it, no worries. I'm able to tackle everything with no second thought. I'm able to get dressed and walk out my door with my keys and my wallet and phone, and nothing else. No pill containers, no worries about prescriptions, no other substances. Just me and my natural self.

Although I don't have any anxiety, I do still have some physical benzo withdrawal symptoms remaining. According to my neurologist, it's just the brain signals recovering and rejuvenating themselves after two decades worth of substances keeping them depressed. My neurologist thinks that it's not very important whether or not it was prescribed, or which substance you put in your body, your brain signals and nerves have to get resituated basically. According to her, all of your brain signals talk to each other and adjust to surroundings and new events and environments, so they need time to adjust to the new everything.

Just wanted to let you guys know that everything's going to be fine, but it's not a quick process. Nothing good in life comes without a fight usually, but once you win the fight, it's that much better.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Oh that's really great that you are able to enjoy the beauties of Seattle. I used to live on Bainbridge Island, and you are right-- those ferry rides in the sea air are so restorative!

Thank you for sharing what your neurologist said,also.

Congratulations!! This is a HUGE achievement!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.