Really need reassurance about windows & waves

[[Buddie]]

I had my first window in nearly 39 months of this a couple weeks ago, felt like heaven fir the few days it lasted. Now back to anxiety, intrusive thoughts again. Just wanted know others experience of how long can take before you start getting more frequent pattern windows & waves. Am trying really hard not to do the usual checking of things I do, so maybe be heightening anxiety, Just have this awful dread I won’t get another window and this was a one off, as back to normal daily fear ,anxiety now. Felt really depressed afterwards for few days when the old crap feeling returned, having had bit hope briefly.

[[Buddie]]

Anyone? Really worried won’t ever get another window😱😱😱😱

[[Buddie]]

Hey Lean, thats great news... Keep triving , keep holding on  If thats your First window... others Will come ,  you damn strong

[[Buddie]]

Anyone? Really worried won’t ever get another window😱😱😱😱

Why wouldn't you get another? That's just an irrational fear [...], you need to try and recognise these things and tell them to sod off!! Benzo lies and all that.

YOU ARE HEALING!!! 

[[Buddie]]

I know just hard to believe when improvement so slow. Sleep awful at moment only getting about 4 hours. Back to not seeing any way out of this again. Feel worse than I did before the “window”.

[[Buddie]]

[...],

I was asking the same question. Haven't had too many windows but recently have had some brief ones. But after each one I felt so much worse and my last one was Saturday for a while. And since then I have been doing absolutely horrible. Hopefully it's some deep healing going on for both of us. Hugs!

[...]

[[Buddie]]

Hugs to you too. Can’t believe first window I had, but feeling worse afterwards. Waking at 4.30am most mornings. Moan moan😔

[[Buddie]]

I can relate to everything in this thread. :\ Hope everyone is doing okay! I'm trying to stay positive and think of the worse symptoms as more intense healing going on. It can be so tough when you get slammed with them after a nice brief window. Feels like a little glimpse of daylight as you walk through a really long, dark tunnel.

[[Buddie]]

Hi

I'm also almost two years out from my last dose. For me, the wave/window analogy is too confusing. It makes it seem like we will always be going back and forth between the two, which makes me suspect that the good times are always going to be followed by something worse. That has been problematic for my mental state. I don't think it is a bad analogy for the people who it works for. I think it's a good thing, then.

I just sort of see a lessening of symptom severity as evidence that it IS possible to feel and function better-- the body has what it needs to get it together. If it's possible, then it's highly likely it is repeatable. If it's repeatable, then it's probably a state that can expand until it's more the norm.

When we have a time of feeling less beset by symptoms, I try to remind myself to just accept it as good and to not analyse it in hopes of discovering what it means in terms of healing. I have to practice accepting that healing IS happening, whether I feel bad or good, either way.

I have been having a really rough time of it lately, and I wish that we could all just feel better instead of struggling. I wish we didn't need this forum, but I'm glad we have it.

[[Buddie]]

I usually have a tolerable day followed by a bad day. If the tolerable day turns out to be much better than normal the next day will be worse than normal. Hoping to be able to eventually have more good days in a row than one.