Straight looking for reassurance on a horrible day.

I know we’ve all been there, I’m not special, but I could really use some support getting through the day.

 

I’m now four months out and things seem worse. I am absolutely exhausted and almost fell for the first time today. It makes me fear that my body is giving out or running out of resources and I’m not going to make it through this.

 

What’s worse is this constant feeling of not being here completely. It feels like everything is running in a different part of my brain that I can see but can’t reach. I can cry and feel pain and emotion in some way but it’s not the same as it used to be-it’s as if it’s in a compartment in my brain or I can’t really feel it in my soul like I used to. Like I’m not part of it, or part of this world.

 

I can’t find “resolution” to anything. If I’m scared, it doesn’t ever feel better or come down, it just fades away. Even sleep is hard, as if I’m tired but don’t feel tired the same way, and so it feels scary like I’m going to stop completely.

 

This is the first time I’ve genuinely thought that I might not make it through this. I’m sitting outside crying while the sun is shining, the trees are green and the sky is blue. But nothing feels ok or real or that it’s a part of me and my experience.

 

I’m terrified I’m not going to make it through this, or worse, that I’ll be this way forever or that I’ll never see the world the way I used to/connect with it.

 

Any hope right now would be appreciated. I feel like I’m alone floating in the world and I’ll never be let back in.

I know we’ve all been there, I’m not special, but I could really use some support getting through the day.

 

I’m now four months out and things seem worse. I am absolutely exhausted and almost fell for the first time today. It makes me fear that my body is giving out or running out of resources and I’m not going to make it through this.

 

What’s worse is this constant feeling of not being here completely. It feels like everything is running in a different part of my brain that I can see but can’t reach. I can cry and feel pain and emotion in some way but it’s not the same as it used to be-it’s as if it’s in a compartment in my brain or I can’t really feel it in my soul like I used to. Like I’m not part of it, or part of this world.

 

I can’t find “resolution” to anything. If I’m scared, it doesn’t ever feel better or come down, it just fades away. Even sleep is hard, as if I’m tired but don’t feel tired the same way, and so it feels scary like I’m going to stop completely.

 

This is the first time I’ve genuinely thought that I might not make it through this. I’m sitting outside crying while the sun is shining, the trees are green and the sky is blue. But nothing feels ok or real or that it’s a part of me and my experience.

 

I’m terrified I’m not going to make it through this, or worse, that I’ll be this way forever or that I’ll never see the world the way I used to/connect with it.

 

Any hope right now would be appreciated. I feel like I’m alone floating in the world and I’ll never be let back in.

Sorry about how you are feeling now...

Please understand that it is okay to feel like the way you do right now...

I am here to encourage you that things can change... Feelings change all through this process...All you need to do is survive and stay alive... You will be surprised what your body can handle....

I feel like this as well. I want to feel enthusiastic about things but just feel like Im existing, I dont know if its lack of sleep or just post withdrawal, but I always feel like I have a hangover. I force myself into keeping busy and active but I get no enjoyment out of anything anymore, I just want to feel like my old self again.

I know we’ve all been there, I’m not special, but I could really use some support getting through the day.

 

I’m now four months out and things seem worse. I am absolutely exhausted and almost fell for the first time today. It makes me fear that my body is giving out or running out of resources and I’m not going to make it through this.

 

What’s worse is this constant feeling of not being here completely. It feels like everything is running in a different part of my brain that I can see but can’t reach. I can cry and feel pain and emotion in some way but it’s not the same as it used to be-it’s as if it’s in a compartment in my brain or I can’t really feel it in my soul like I used to. Like I’m not part of it, or part of this world.

 

I can’t find “resolution” to anything. If I’m scared, it doesn’t ever feel better or come down, it just fades away. Even sleep is hard, as if I’m tired but don’t feel tired the same way, and so it feels scary like I’m going to stop completely.

 

This is the first time I’ve genuinely thought that I might not make it through this. I’m sitting outside crying while the sun is shining, the trees are green and the sky is blue. But nothing feels ok or real or that it’s a part of me and my experience.

 

I’m terrified I’m not going to make it through this, or worse, that I’ll be this way forever or that I’ll never see the world the way I used to/connect with it.

 

Any hope right now would be appreciated. I feel like I’m alone floating in the world and I’ll never be let back in.

 

 

"Feelings of not being there"  I remember going through this, I thought I was going mad!  This will pass and get better same as all the other symptoms.  4 months is early off...things will improve and get better over the coming weeks. Try and distract from symptoms, I know thats easy said, but give it a try!

 

I never thought that I would make it, but I did and you will too.  I know how scary this is,  feeling you might be stuck with this forever but you definitely won't.  One day you will be sitting outside, enjoying the sun, and the sky and the trees and you will appreciate it like never before...just like I did!

 

You will make it, I promise you

 

Magrita