Author Topic: Straight looking for reassurance on a horrible day.  (Read 164 times)

[Buddie]

Straight looking for reassurance on a horrible day.
« on: May 16, 2022, 06:52:36 pm »
I know weíve all been there, Iím not special, but I could really use some support getting through the day.

Iím now four months out and things seem worse. I am absolutely exhausted and almost fell for the first time today. It makes me fear that my body is giving out or running out of resources and Iím not going to make it through this.

Whatís worse is this constant feeling of not being here completely. It feels like everything is running in a different part of my brain that I can see but canít reach. I can cry and feel pain and emotion in some way but itís not the same as it used to be-itís as if itís in a compartment in my brain or I canít really feel it in my soul like I used to. Like Iím not part of it, or part of this world.

I canít find ďresolutionĒ to anything. If Iím scared, it doesnít ever feel better or come down, it just fades away. Even sleep is hard, as if Iím tired but donít feel tired the same way, and so it feels scary like Iím going to stop completely.

This is the first time Iíve genuinely thought that I might not make it through this. Iím sitting outside crying while the sun is shining, the trees are green and the sky is blue. But nothing feels ok or real or that itís a part of me and my experience.

Iím terrified Iím not going to make it through this, or worse, that Iíll be this way forever or that Iíll never see the world the way I used to/connect with it.

Any hope right now would be appreciated. I feel like Iím alone floating in the world and Iíll never be let back in.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Straight looking for reassurance on a horrible day.
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2022, 06:57:47 pm »
I know weíve all been there, Iím not special, but I could really use some support getting through the day.

Iím now four months out and things seem worse. I am absolutely exhausted and almost fell for the first time today. It makes me fear that my body is giving out or running out of resources and Iím not going to make it through this.

Whatís worse is this constant feeling of not being here completely. It feels like everything is running in a different part of my brain that I can see but canít reach. I can cry and feel pain and emotion in some way but itís not the same as it used to be-itís as if itís in a compartment in my brain or I canít really feel it in my soul like I used to. Like Iím not part of it, or part of this world.

I canít find ďresolutionĒ to anything. If Iím scared, it doesnít ever feel better or come down, it just fades away. Even sleep is hard, as if Iím tired but donít feel tired the same way, and so it feels scary like Iím going to stop completely.

This is the first time Iíve genuinely thought that I might not make it through this. Iím sitting outside crying while the sun is shining, the trees are green and the sky is blue. But nothing feels ok or real or that itís a part of me and my experience.

Iím terrified Iím not going to make it through this, or worse, that Iíll be this way forever or that Iíll never see the world the way I used to/connect with it.

Any hope right now would be appreciated. I feel like Iím alone floating in the world and Iíll never be let back in.
Sorry about how you are feeling now...
Please understand that it is okay to feel like the way you do right now...
I am here to encourage you that things can change... Feelings change all through this process...All you need to do is survive and stay alive... You will be surprised what your body can handle....
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Straight looking for reassurance on a horrible day.
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2022, 08:41:37 am »
I feel like this as well. I want to feel enthusiastic about things but just feel like Im existing, I dont know if its lack of sleep or just post withdrawal, but I always feel like I have a hangover. I force myself into keeping busy and active but I get no enjoyment out of anything anymore, I just want to feel like my old self again.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Straight looking for reassurance on a horrible day.
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2022, 09:16:40 am »
I know weíve all been there, Iím not special, but I could really use some support getting through the day.

Iím now four months out and things seem worse. I am absolutely exhausted and almost fell for the first time today. It makes me fear that my body is giving out or running out of resources and Iím not going to make it through this.

Whatís worse is this constant feeling of not being here completely. It feels like everything is running in a different part of my brain that I can see but canít reach. I can cry and feel pain and emotion in some way but itís not the same as it used to be-itís as if itís in a compartment in my brain or I canít really feel it in my soul like I used to. Like Iím not part of it, or part of this world.

I canít find ďresolutionĒ to anything. If Iím scared, it doesnít ever feel better or come down, it just fades away. Even sleep is hard, as if Iím tired but donít feel tired the same way, and so it feels scary like Iím going to stop completely.

This is the first time Iíve genuinely thought that I might not make it through this. Iím sitting outside crying while the sun is shining, the trees are green and the sky is blue. But nothing feels ok or real or that itís a part of me and my experience.

Iím terrified Iím not going to make it through this, or worse, that Iíll be this way forever or that Iíll never see the world the way I used to/connect with it.

Any hope right now would be appreciated. I feel like Iím alone floating in the world and Iíll never be let back in.


"Feelings of not being there"  I remember going through this, I thought I was going mad!   This will pass and get better same as all the other symptoms.  4 months is early off...things will improve and get better over the coming weeks. Try and distract from symptoms, I know thats easy said, but give it a try!

I never thought that I would make it, but I did and you will too.  I know how scary this is,  feeling you might be stuck with this forever but you definitely won't.   One day you will be sitting outside, enjoying the sun, and the sky and the trees and you will appreciate it like never before...just like I did!

You will make it, I promise you

[...] :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.