I haven't been active on this forum for many months - just been trying to live my life as a [...] and wife. It's been 6 months since my first benzo free day and I just wanted to come back and say hello and I'm doing well overall. Two and a half years ago, I didn't believe that I would still be here, let alone say that. For those who don't know my story, it's long and complicated (like most here) so feel free to look back at the worst of it during the summer/fall of 2019, when sh$t really hit the fan. An eventual crossover to Valium and slow daily microtaper (2 years) saved my life, though it wasn't easy at first.
Life post taper has been pretty good. I continue to struggle with some anxiety and have had a few bigger concerning episodes - none of that is related to the benzo or withdrawal but instead, is related to why I took the benzos in the first place. I still have tinnitus; however, the burning skin, hyperacusis, tremors, akathasia, and a whole host of other symptoms have pretty much left and stayed away.
So many here and in other forums came to my rescue and gave me the guidance and love that I couldn't get from my family, close friends and those "in real life". I pray daily for all those who have been injured and impacted by these medications and continually warn people about them in real life, even though it often comes with humility and a reminder of a past that was extremely painful. The truth is.....I don't want to forget. Whenever life gets tough and things pop up, I want to remind myself of the worst thing I've ever been through (benzo withdrawal) and be able to put things in perspective.
As I said, just wanted to check in. I look forward to posting a success story someday but I don't feel quite there yet.
Keep fighting, friends! If you are struggling, just do today....or this hour or this minute. Don't give up! With love and hugs! [...]
