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ANXIETY


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How am I suppose to get off this drug when my anxiety is out of this world!

Started this taper at 1.25mg clonazepam December 26th 2021 and it's taken me this long just to get down to .887

My anxiety consumes every thought and minute of my day, it's driving my husband crazy because this is all I talk about. I was originally put on this drug for severe anxiety when I took my little brother in for 3 years as he was dying from cancer, he passed November 2019 in my arms.

 

I was fine for a while and then I hit tolerance withdrawals in august 2020 and my life has been pure hell since. If I would have known then about tolerance I could have started my taper much sooner.

 

How do I do this when I am so full of anxiety?

 

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If you have reached tolerance to benzos like many of us had, me included, the only solution for tolerance-related anxiety is to get off the benzo.  The drug stops working and begins actually causing the anxiety we were trying to treat.  My anxiety is all but gone now that I am off benzos.  Here is some BB information regarding tolerance:

 

Reaching Tolerance Info

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If you have reached tolerance to benzos like many of us had, me included, the only solution for tolerance-related anxiety is to get off the benzo.  The drug stops working and begins actually causing the anxiety we were trying to treat.  My anxiety is all but gone now that I am off benzos.  Here is some BB information regarding tolerance:

 

Reaching Tolerance Info

 

Yes, I have hit tolerance!  I now know that what I have been going through for almost two years and many many tests and doctors including mental health doctors and no one ever mentioned tolerance. Thanks to sites like this and the info I have received on here is how I figured out what is going on. I have had terrible anxiety that has caused agoraphobia starting back in 2020 and couldn't figure it out, I was still taking my benzo, yet my life turned upside down almost like overnight. Couldn't leave the house, interact with people, drive, run my small business nothing! Wish someone would have told me so I could have started this journey sooner. I almost feel like I am in acute already while I'm tapering.

 

If I am in acute in your opinion should I speed up the process? I am currently at .887 I believe of clonazepam. Just took a cut 10 days ago and I think it was right around 12%. I have actually been thinking detox and rehab to do this. I posted before about doing detox and rehab and I believe you commented on it.

 

I just need to start the healing process because this anxiety has brought on depression and it's ruining my life. I am 61 and want my life back. Before 2016 I hasn't been on any meds for over 20 years!

 

I'm glad to know the anxiety will get better and I'm so glad you are doing well.

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You are making good progress with your taper Nanaquits.  Are you staying functional in your daily life?  That is the guide I used during my taper - if I could keep up with my daily responsibilities, then I kept tapering even though I had some withdrawl symptoms.  You can certainly keep rehab and detox out there as a possibility but why not just keep going with you taper at home and come here for support?  Other than having people around you in rehab, the withdrawl process won't be any better and perhaps worse.  If you can come to some acceptance that this isn't easy no matter how you do it, home is likely a better place to be.
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You are making good progress with your taper Nanaquits.  Are you staying functional in your daily life?  That is the guide I used during my taper - if I could keep up with my daily responsibilities, then I kept tapering even though I had some withdrawl symptoms.  You can certainly keep rehab and detox out there as a possibility but why not just keep going with you taper at home and come here for support?  Other than having people around you in rehab, the withdrawl process won't be any better and perhaps worse.  If you can come to some acceptance that this isn't easy no matter how you do it, home is likely a better place to be.

 

After reading the link you sent about withdrawal I have to say that I know I have been in Relative withdrawal for almost 2 years now. I want stable at all, in fact I have been non functional in life since then. I can't drive, cook, barely keep up with housework and spend a lot of time in bed, oh and I use to be on the go all the time and since 2020 and tolerance I now have agoraphobia, not even comfortable around family and my grandkids wonder why I don't come over, that breaks my heart because I have always been so close with them.

I don't feel well but I need to get these drugs out of me, so I either need to just keep my taper going no matter what our do detox, I don't know which to do but I am suffering bad?!

Also as I have mentioned in previous posts I am having problems finding a provider that will agree to let me taper my way. The last one when I told her I wanted to taper told me to do 20% cuts and I said no so she pretty much told me to find another provider so I did and thought great this one is an addiction specialist she should be good, well I was so wrong, it's either her way or nothing. She won't listen to me about doing no more than 10% cuts and staying on dosing 4 times a day because of inner dose withdrawl instead she wants to do this cut two doses out every two weeks and I'm not doing what she said, I'm doing it my way so I'm sure she won't be happy with me at our next meeting.

 

In the states clonazepam smallest dose is. 5mg they have a .25 but it only comes as an oral disintegrating tablet and I can't cut those and that's what she prescribed me even though I told her they make me sick to my stomach, she doesn't care. Luckily I still had a few .5mg tabs so I could use those for my last cut. Need to look for another provider but it's hard.

 

What would your thoughts be on continuing a taper or detox knowing I am already in relative withdrawal?

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Nanaquits, I don't have an opinion as to what you should do because I don't know all the ins and outs of your particular situation.  I never considered going to detox or rehab because I didn't want to be taken off benzos quickly given how bad I had heard it was to do so.  Even though doing it slowly at home wasn't easy, I knew for me it would be better than the alternative.
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I'm in a similar situation, Nanaquits. I also reached tolerance after only 1.5 months of daily use of k and 3 months of total use. I never went up above .875 mg. I'm moving at 5.5% / 14 days as a dry daily micro taper using a file and scale, and my symptoms have gotten worse as I neared .375 mg. I'm now at .362 mg and really struggling. I don't know what to do. I could go even slower, but I've held for a week and not had symptoms ease, so I'm not sure there's a rate where my symptoms get much better. I'm just barely functional or not functional for large portions of the day most days. I have tons of fog and anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I just want off these things too, but I don't want to end up in worse shape after getting off for months or years.

 

Kate08, do you know of anyone who hit tolerance and had a more difficult time tapering like Nana and I? It's hard to be going super slow with the taper and still be getting walloped with symptoms every day. I'm so thankful you were able to get off as quickly as you did and have recovered so much.

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I'm in a similar situation, Nanaquits. I also reached tolerance after only 1.5 months of daily use of k and 3 months of total use. I never went up above .875 mg. I'm moving at 5.5% / 14 days as a dry daily micro taper using a file and scale, and my symptoms have gotten worse as I neared .375 mg. I'm now at .362 mg and really struggling. I don't know what to do. I could go even slower, but I've held for a week and not had symptoms ease, so I'm not sure there's a rate where my symptoms get much better. I'm just barely functional or not functional for large portions of the day most days. I have tons of fog and anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I just want off these things too, but I don't want to end up in worse shape after getting off for months or years.

 

Kate08, do you know of anyone who hit tolerance and had a more difficult time tapering like Nana and I? It's hard to be going super slow with the taper and still be getting walloped with symptoms every day. I'm so thankful you were able to get off as quickly as you did and have recovered so much.

 

You might read through the Success Stories and find people who have had a similar experience to yours.  That board or the Post-Withdrawl board would be good places to check.

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I'm in a similar situation, Nanaquits. I also reached tolerance after only 1.5 months of daily use of k and 3 months of total use. I never went up above .875 mg. I'm moving at 5.5% / 14 days as a dry daily micro taper using a file and scale, and my symptoms have gotten worse as I neared .375 mg. I'm now at .362 mg and really struggling. I don't know what to do. I could go even slower, but I've held for a week and not had symptoms ease, so I'm not sure there's a rate where my symptoms get much better. I'm just barely functional or not functional for large portions of the day most days. I have tons of fog and anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I just want off these things too, but I don't want to end up in worse shape after getting off for months or years.

 

Kate08, do you know of anyone who hit tolerance and had a more difficult time tapering like Nana and I? It's hard to be going super slow with the taper and still be getting walloped with symptoms every day. I'm so thankful you were able to get off as quickly as you did and have recovered so much.

 

I'm sorry that you too are suffering. I just wish that my doctor would have warned me when she put me on this drug 6 years ago what long term use would do to me! I use to be so happy and on the go, always doing things with the grandkids, running a small business and now I have nothing, no emotions other than sadness, my daughter and grandkids hardly talk to me and after my husband putting up with this for two years my marriage is starting to crumble after 40 years. I'm so afraid of losing all the people I love because I can't leave the house even unless I absolutely have to. I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore, actually I don't even know who I am!  This is why I'm thinking rehab because I am suffering so bad tapering that I'm afraid I won't be able to finish it. I just wasn't too start healing.

Praying for you

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I'm so sorry, Nana. I'll be praying for you as well, that you will get through this, heal, and those relationships will be restored.
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