skyblue4321

[[Buddie]]

I hope you won't take the Zaleplon, its called a non-benzodiazepine but it acts in the brain in a similar way to benzo's and it's half life is so short you'll develop interdose withdrawal symptoms.  I know about this first hand because after my cold turkey from Klonopin I started taking Ambien and suffered horribly until I stopped taking it.  I'm horrified your psychiatrist recommended it, it shows me he has no idea what he's doing.

I feel you're undermedicated on the Ativan, you were taking 1.5 mgs then tapered to 0 then reinstated at .50, its not enough but if you hold longer, your body could eventually stabilize, I don't know.

Mornings are pretty much bad for everyone around here, they describe feeling better as the day wears on, some say it has something to do with cortisol levels. 

I don't know anything about Mirtazapine only that we have many members trying to taper off of it and it's not pleasant so keep this in mind.

Many members can taper from Ativan directly but some do switch to Valium but that can be rough too.  Would dosing more often help get you through the day a little easier?

Please don't consider just stopping one of your doses of .25, your taper needs to be slow so you can stay functional, you know what happened last time.

[[Buddie]]

I am not at all happy with my current psychiatrist.  I am on a wait list for a different one.

Regarding Mirtazapine, I took it for a month last March and then stopped in April.  And now I just started it back up this week.  I am wondering if I should have my psychiatrist switch me over Fluvoxamine (Luvox).  I have a lot of experience with Luvox and I had zero withdrawal symptoms when I went off it.  I can't see how I am going to get off the Ativan without some kind of anti-depressant/mood-stabilizer.

[[Buddie]]

Sometimes its better to stick with what you know as far as medications go, but even taking something to help, you'll likely still face challenges, we haven't found anything that universally helps.  What works for some won't work for others, it's all experimentation with you as the subject unfortunately.

Are you going to hold this dose in hopes you can stabilize?

[[Buddie]]

I think my psychiatrist wants me to increase my dose of Ativan. 

In my gut I want to stay at .25 twice a day even though I am feeling like I am going crazy in the mornings/early afternoons and spend the rest of the day dreading the next morning. 

This morning seems particularly bad.  I'm feeling pretty my hopeless. 

Yesterday my psychiatrist increased my Mirtazapine to 30 MG and said I could begin another Ativan taper in about 3 weeks when the Mirtazapine is more built up in my system.   

[[Buddie]]

I've read so many members say they wish they would have followed their gut instead of listening to someone else and even though I feel you went back on a dose that was too low after your rapid taper, I wonder if you should follow yours?

I don't know the benefits of Mirtazapine but know it's not a magic pill that takes away our suffering, nothing can do that but I do I agree with your doctor that waiting before resuming your taper is a good idea.  The fact that your evenings aren't as bad as your mornings is a good sign so maybe you can get by on this dose of .50 a day.

[[Buddie]]

Update:  I have a new psychiatrist who specializes in addiction and I have high hopes.   

She prescribed me 300 MG of Gabapentin 3 to 4 times a day.  Also, she said I should start substituting the .25 MG of Ativan that I am taking when I wake up in the middle of night with a Gabapentin.  So that will mean that I will be down to only taking just .25 MG Ativan a day in the morning when I get out of bed.

My insomnia and morning/early afternoon anxiety and depression have been pretty terrible, so I am hoping this will work.  Right now, I am feeling pretty good.  I took my first Gabapentin a few hours ago.

[[Buddie]]

Skyblue,

I am sorry you are struggling.

Question: You're not taking both the gabapentin and the mirtazapine, right? I would suggest only trying one at a time to see if it offers relief, and stay on the lowest dose you can because they both have significant side effects and can be hard to come off.

Drinking alcohol while going through this can also make things much worse in the long term. Please be careful. It's very hard when you first hit acute withdrawal to think long term at all, but you have to try to make decisions right now with your long term brain health in mind. Again, it's very hard to do that!

I hope you stabilize soon and are able to do a taper that feels more stable and less dramatic than all this. Good luck and you're in the right place. [...] is a wonderful support and the folks here can help you with your taper plan.

[...]

[[Buddie]]

I have been taking the Mirtazapine for almost 3 weeks at bedtime and my new psychiatrist told me to continue to take it. 

She also told me to stop drinking alcohol at least for the short term. So I didn't drink any alcohol yesterday.  It was pretty easy for me to stop drinking red wine.  She said it didn't need to be permanent.

So far the Gabapentin seems to be working. I slept pretty good last night and I am feeling relatively good this morning which is a huge switch.

AND I ONLY TOOK .25 ATIVAN THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP.  I SKIPED MY USUAUL MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT .25 ATIVAN.

[[Buddie]]

I'm glad your doctor is aware of the effects of alcohol while we go through this, it works on the same receptors in the brain that benzo's do, this is why they give alcoholics Librium (a benzo) in detox, alcohol is sometimes referred to as liquid benzo's, so while you know the difference between the two, your brain can't distinguish.

Good to know you found a new doctor, and I hope you continue to feel better and better.  Please be aware that the Gabapentin will need to be tapered once you're off the Ativan and recovered from your use. 

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for advising me to not take the Zaleplon.  My new psychiatrist also told me to not take it.

I again slept through the night and did not need to take my usual .25 Ativan in the middle of night.  I woke up around 6 am feeling my withdrawal symptoms pretty bad.  I took a Gabapentin around 6:30 am and reluctantly took my usual .25 Ativan around 7:30 am.  Now that it is 8am I feel that the extreme anxiety/depression are greatly lessening.  Previously when I was taking the .25 Ativan in the middle of the night and the .25 in the morning it seemed to just barely reduce my withdrawal anxiety/depression. 

I am wondering if I should have taken a second Gabapentin instead of the .25 Ativan and tried a full day with without Ativan.

Anyway, I guess I should be happy that this will be the second day in which I cut my Ativan dose in half.