Reinstate

[[Buddie]]

I don’t think I can take this anymore. I’ve been ct almost 6 months and I am not getting any better. I sleep only 4 hours a night. I have insane panic attacks that last sometimes 6 hours. They include shaking, sweating, relentless pacing. I’m always in a constant state of anxiety. I’ve become completely agoraphobic. I have to get back to work soon or I’ll be homeless. Has anybody reinstated this far out, stabilized and then did a slow taper. I need to get a sense of normalcy back into my life.

[[Buddie]]

Hey [...],

Reinstatement is tricky, it works for some but not others and unfortunately there's no way of knowing how it will work for you. From a personal perspective, I didn't realise I was in WD after my 1st CT and kept trying different benzos and AD's. Everything just made things worse. If I had realised I was in WD and taken a different approach to reinstating would it have worked? Who knows, all I do know is once I realised what had been happening and the hospital tried to reinstate me it didn't work.

But some do manage to reinstate successfully, so don't take my experience as the "norm".

There's a good thread "sticky" at the top of this cold turkey board. There is some good information there, and may help you in making an informed decision

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=53305.0

[[Buddie]]

Hey there, as [...] mentioned, reinstatement is tricky. I really wouldn't recommend if you're so far out from your CT. You might be kindling and if you became dependent on benzos so quickly, you might not stabilise. I know how difficult the insomnia is on top of all the other symptoms, but I would really recommend you to tough it out. There are lots of members who went through little and poor sleep for years, and they recovered. Getting off all meds is the best way to let yourself recover. It'll take a lot of time, but you'll get there. I feel bad for you and know it's torture, but hang in there, 5 months is early days.

[[Buddie]]

Thanks for your replies. I wish I knew the proper action to take. It seems that I haven’t made a correct decision concerning this drug yet. I should have never started it and I should not have ct off it. Maybe there is no correct decision here. Maybe I’m damned whether I stay the course or I reinstate. I’ve lost my whole life because of this. I’m so worried that I’ll never get it back. I sometimes wonder if this healing everyone talks about is just a mythical thing.

[[Buddie]]

Thanks for your replies. I wish I knew the proper action to take. It seems that I haven’t made a correct decision concerning this drug yet. I should have never started it and I should not have ct off it. Maybe there is no correct decision here. Maybe I’m damned whether I stay the course or I reinstate. I’ve lost my whole life because of this. I’m so worried that I’ll never get it back. I sometimes wonder if this healing everyone talks about is just a mythical thing.

The only course of action to take is to keep moving forward and not give up. Sleep problems are super duper common in WD. It wasn't your fault, you didn't know you'd develop such bad WD, none of us did. It's unfair, but trust when everyone says that it gets better. I was going on 4-5 hours of broken sleep for a long time and worked 12 hour days. Eventually and slowly after many months my sleep came back.

It's good that you're getting 4 and even 5 hours sometimes, even if it's broken. It's there, it's just too much cortisol in the body and it'll settle with time, lots of time. I know how never ending it feels like, but you have to go through it. If possible, try not to take any medications or supplements, but that's of course your personal choice.

[[Buddie]]

These withdrawals are crazy and can mess with your mind. Yesterday I was so sick I wanted to reinstate. Today I’m having the best day that I’ve had since this crazy ct journey started. I hope this window lasts for a while.

[[Buddie]]

It's very normal. One day you feel like absolute crap and you want to give up on everything and next day it's not so bad. Have a read about reinstating but usually it's not recommended if you're more than two weeks out of your CT. There are people who reinstated and regretted their decision, there are people who successfully reinstated, there are short term users like you who had long tapers and still got slammed. So the thing is what's done is done and we have to ride it out. It's a good sign if you're getting windows, you'll get more of them and in a way get used to this horrible process.

[[Buddie]]

I had to reinstate twice due to supplements that I took. The second reinstatement was after two years after being off of the drug. I started to taper already and it's been ok so far. Don't get me wrong, reinstatment is the last resort. In both cases that I did my job was also at risk and having a family to feed there was not option. If you feel, as you said, with signs of getting better, I will push it as much as I could. If you reinstate start with a lower dose of a 1/2 long life benzo like Valium or clonazepam so you can start a more slow taper after you get stable.
Reinstatement is a bad word here at BB and is right so but only you know your limits. It's not the end of the world either.
Mice

[[Buddie]]

I had to reinstate twice due to supplements that I took. The second reinstatement was after two years after being off of the drug. I started to taper already and it's been ok so far. Don't get me wrong, reinstatment is the last resort. In both cases that I did my job was also at risk and having a family to feed there was not option. If you feel, as you said, with signs of getting better, I will push it as much as I could. If you reinstate start with a lower dose of a 1/2 long life benzo like Valium or clonazepam so you can start a more slow taper after you get stable.
Reinstatement is a bad word here at BB and is right so but only you know your limits. It's not the end of the world either.
Mice

If you were working, then you probably weren't that bad and the reason reinstatement worked for you. I think once it gets to a point that you're basically psychotic and/or bedridden (bedridden because of being psychotic is fun) and your CNS is fried, reinstatement just doesn't work. Glad it's worked for you though

[[Buddie]]

I had to reinstate twice due to supplements that I took. The second reinstatement was after two years after being off of the drug. I started to taper already and it's been ok so far. Don't get me wrong, reinstatment is the last resort. In both cases that I did my job was also at risk and having a family to feed there was not option. If you feel, as you said, with signs of getting better, I will push it as much as I could. If you reinstate start with a lower dose of a 1/2 long life benzo like Valium or clonazepam so you can start a more slow taper after you get stable.
Reinstatement is a bad word here at BB and is right so but only you know your limits. It's not the end of the world either.
Mice

What symptoms did you reinstate for? My main symptom is insomnia. Was that one of your symptoms? Did your reinstatement give you relief?