I am having anxiety about tapering from Xanax

[[Buddie]]

I began my taper last week and it is going okay so far but thinking about it constantly is giving me anxiety.
I read story after story alternating between horror and success. I feel so torn.
Thank you.

[[Buddie]]

Also wanted to add that in my life, I don't really have the time for a looooooong taper. It seems like many people here have time, money, support etc. I live with a major trigger person, I haven't worked in 4 years, 4 months (have a dog walking job 3x per week for last 3 weeks but that it only a few dollars a week)
I just feel trapped and worried like I need to just be off now but than withdraw for years?
Feeling rather hopeless with despair.
Thank you.

[[Buddie]]

Started the taper cutting 1/4 from the midnight dose.
Actually moved each dose ahead by 2&1/2 hours: 8:30 a.m., 2:30 p.m. 8:30 p.m. 2:30 a.m.(dose cut by 1/4 this Tuesday will be a week.) Will then cut 1/4 from 8:30 a.m. dose. Was using melatonin to help with sleep but noticed some days with incredible fatigue afterwards.
Trying to use only small doses of it sparingly or every other day or not at all etc.

I have lived with irrational fear since I was a child. Then when my parents basically abandoned me on the 7th great I experienced major depression missing lots of school. I live with my alchoholic father now and am basically codependent with him and my mother who is now experiencing memory loss. I am 48.
Xanax may have helped me survive but I basically withdrew from society 4 years, 4 mo ths ago.
All of this seems hard and endless. I went to a detox(state facility) place and left after 6 days. They switched my xanax to ativan(pointless) and then said okay that's it! Now withdrawal. I bolted.
I need to get off xanax for good and get a good job and take care of myself. Seems as if it is so far away and impossible. How could I do that if I had 2 years of withdrawal?
Thank you for any responses.

[[Buddie]]

Hi [...], I moved your thread to the withdrawal support board since it's a bit more active so you should get more replies.

I'm a bit concerned about your taper, you mention the not having the luxury of tapering for years but this may be the wrong way of looking at this.  A slow taper will hopefully allow you to stay functional while getting rid of the drug.  Incorporating a taper into your life and using it to minimize your symptoms can be a good thing because I've actually seen members do this successfully.

Can you tell us how long after you moved your dosing schedule you began to taper your last dose because any changes we make the body needs time to adjust.

[[Buddie]]

Two days ago.
Tomorrow will be a week since the first cut, then moved the time 2 days ago now.
Plan to make 2nd cut tomorrow.
Only real symptom? Fatigue!
No melatonin and occasionally take a baby aspirin.

Thank you.

[[Buddie]]

I also switched the morning dose to .25 to try and alleviate some fatigue. So frustrating.
So it goes .25 8:30 a.m. , .25 2:30 p.m.
.5 8:30 p.m.     3/4 of .5 2:30 a.m.
I have had insomnia issues long before I ever took a
benzo so broken sleep is just what I live with. I do pray
that one day I have regular sleep.
Also wondering if I need to get a full hormonal panel done.  Annoyed at how much these drugs affect so much of our bodies.

[[Buddie]]

I can't relate to fatigue, it wasn't one of my symptoms, have you felt it before while taking Xanax or is it a new symptom?  Using your symptoms to guide your reductions is what we hope will keep you functioning, are you recording your reductions, your dose time changes and symptom severity to help you make future reductions?

[[Buddie]]

Yes.

And fatigue is a new symptom.

Part of me feels like well, I have insomnia, anxiety, fatigue etc. while on the drug, trying to taper, so why not just go to a facility, rid the drug quickly and then just deal with the withdrawal process however bad. At least a doctor is there with blood pressure medicine or seizure medicines. Slow taper does not guarantee less withdrawal symptoms. In fact, there are no guarantees regarding any of this. And thinking about this obsessively is no good.
I didn't know about any of what I have learned on this web site 4 months ago when I tried cold turkey. Now, with all the info and horror stories, the mental side of it is now making it all worse. My anxiety is about coming off the medicine.

[[Buddie]]

Hello
I started my taper today. I've been taking 1.5 mg of Klonopin for over 30 years. 1 mg am, .5 mg pm. I have also read so much about the side effects and the years of withdrawal symptoms that I'm feeling what you're feeling. I'm tapering 5% per daily for 30 days and will be working with a psychiatrist during the process.
I fearful of the entire process, withdrawal, panic attacks, seizures. Years of tapering and possibly being housebound. Missing my life, children, grandchildren and friends.

[[Buddie]]

I'm so sorry for you both, I know how hopeless it all feels, I was lucky in a way, I had no idea what had happened to me when I quit cold turkey and didn't find out the truth of my situation until I joined BenzoBuddies 5 months later.

But there is hope, this is a long and painful process but you can recover from it if you keep working to get off of the drug.

[...], you're right, there are no guarantees but most experts say a slow taper is the best way to go about this, but whatever you decide to do, we'll support you.