Acute Withdrawal question

[[Buddie]]

When does Acute withdrawal start? At the beginning or the last day of a harsh 3-4 week taper?
I feel like I am dying and hoping I have already started the acute w/d duration and that it’s not going to suddenly get worse (is it possible?) I have cut by 50%in three weeks (supposed to be at 25% Lorazepam). As I have felt the worst ever in my life and time is passing so slowly and not one good day.

[[Buddie]]

We typically define acute withdrawal as the time of suffering just after jumping off your dose, for people who have done a slow taper, this can be the most challenging time.  For people like you and I, who have rapidly tapered or quit cold turkey, there isn't much difference between what you're dealing with now and acute, you're in it, the speed of your taper pretty much puts you at a cold turkey. 

I do want to offer some hope though, if you continue with the pace of your taper and manage to make it through the next few months, I don't see any reason why you can't fully recover.  In my time here I've not seen any correlation between slow, rapid or cold turkey contributing to protracted symptoms lasting longer than 2 years. 

Here is a post that members seem to relate to about the stages of recovery, but it doesn't really apply to people like us who quit rapidly. Four Phases of Withdrawal-Where Are You?

[[Buddie]]

Thank you so much-I feel hopeful now that I know I pretty much have already entered the acute w/d stage. I really like reading about the 4 stages and I will read it regularly to see and compare my progress. I just hope nothing else major comes up. My mom got critically ill last week, spent 5 days in the hospital and I just wanted to scream from the increased symptoms I got. It was ALMOST manageable before that event (but I probably was still at a slightly higher taper dose too though)
but it seriously got so much worse. I don’t know how to manage life stressors during this stage. But I just want to be my old self so badly, I have been barely functioning for about a year now in a constant stage of tolerance withdrawal. Now the major withdrawal-why does it have to take soooo long. Just straight up poison is what it is.
Thank god for this site and those that stick around helping the new people. How in the world do the pill-medicine manufacturers create such a horrific medicine that causes people to become so sick while taking it as prescribed is crazy to me. Why do the Dr’s refill it. Just insanity.

[[Buddie]]

I just feel horrible-I have tapered down from 1 mg a day Ativan over one month week 1 75%-week 2 50% Week 3  & 4 more .50 but a few days .75. (Supposed to be at .25mg (Overall I approx cut 35%)
Been a nightmare and shockingly WAY WORSE THEN IMAGINED. The dr is who rationed my taper. Told me week 4-5 to take half of .5 every other night. And space them out more days every dose. No matter what dose I take I feel I’m dying. So I think I’m done. I skipped a day and i still felt the same. I take .5 mg today and also still feel the same-horrific. I only have a small amount of meds left a dozen or so.
My brain fog, broken speech and thoughts are scary. Major fatigue and arrhythmia and chest vibrations. Feel wired literally electrocuted. A ton more sx but need feedback.  Am I safe to just quit ct now.
My doc is not the type that I can talk well with. I get major anxiety just thinking about it. By the way- severe agoraphobia as well.

[[Buddie]]

I'm so sorry [...], your symptom description brings back painful memories for me, what your doctor is doing to you is criminal, he has no idea the pain he's causing you.  I believe the taper plan he's laid out for you will do you more harm than good, taking those doses every few days on top of the rapid taper he's demanded will do nothing to stop your pain, it will only delay the inevitable and not provide any relief.

Do you have a history of seizures, they're rare but can happen so when you ask if it's safe, I can't answer that.  But if you're asking if you might as well quit cold turkey then that's certainly an option, your taper has pretty much been a cold turkey. 

My first three weeks were the worst but things began to improve, I was able to function.  If you're determined to do this especially if you don't have the support of your doctor and as long as you understand that recovery is going to take months if not years then you're fully informed and can make your decision. 

Do you have family around to keep an eye on you?

[[Buddie]]

I don’t have a history is seizure disorder but am disabled and have a lot of spine and nerve degeneration and damage and I have been taking gabepentin since 2010. So I feel somewhat safe in that regard, the arrhythmia is scary. I have had ablation in 2019 which is “Cauterizing a miss-firing area in the supraventricular area of my heart. I will def be watching for anything that’s causing that to act up again. It’s crazy.
I can’t see how it (w/d)could get worse but if it does I’ll have no choice then to call my doctors office. I can’t at that time put thoughts or sentences together that actually make sense so that’s why I hesitate to call now. I have so much fear over everything right now. I can’t interact with anyone without for no reason freaking out.
I have a teenage daughter. She has a busy schedule but is around like you ask. Sweet girl. I’m glad when she is at school though and not have to see me this bad.
You are right though, the dose does not a thing-my body knows it is way way negative. I am just going forward with the CT and healing. It’s already taking forever it seems and I’m only in Acute W/D.
Honestly thought some might be inventing symptoms when I first joined BB, (anxiety driven) but now I’m in the thick of it all and realize that every symptom is valid and FELT. Sigh. I read someone on here say they were air hungry and next day I experienced it and thought I was suffocating. (I had a mask on and went to pharmacy) I had to rip off the mask and breathe. It is all horrid. Thank you for your support and links and being here for others. So so nice.

[[Buddie]]

You're doing really well, and by that I mean the fact that you can type sentences that we can understand is amazing.  I wonder if you might also type out a message to your doctor so if you have to communicate with him, you can read what you wrote.  I know how difficult it is to think and speak at the same time and how difficult it is to form words. 

I'm sure you're worried about how your daughter is reacting to all of this but if you can tell her you're doing this so you can be more present in her life hopefully she'll understand.  And let her know you will recover, your brain just has to reclaim the functions the drug disrupted and this can't happen overnight. 

Yeah, we don't make this stuff up, its that bad. 

[[Buddie]]

Today is a really good day(so far!) thank you [...]-for caring. I DO have a piece of paper with bullet points for my doctor, just in case. But so far (and I know it can change hourly)- I feel good because I slept and only had tea as opposed to super strong coffee. I do have fatigue but only notice it when I’m moving so I’m sitting! Lol I’m more hopeful today. Who knows what tomorrow or the rest of the day will bring. But one has to enjoy the windows right! The fact that I don’t feel like crying is progress. Also I read someone else’s story on here BB and she took same meds, same amount of time, and had same taper schedule. She stuck to hers (which I could not cut the last week)anyways she started to feel better in 9days-very slow but somewhat steady improvement and that made me really hopeful.

[[Buddie]]

Its good to see you again and I'm glad you made the connection between coffee and your symptoms, I had to give it up for a time as well.  I hope you can stay away from taking rescue doses, I know its tough but you made a decision to stop taking the Lorazepam so its best to stay off of it if that's still your decision.  Of course, if things become unmanageable and you decide to reinstate and taper, then we'll support you.

I'm thankful you got some sleep, that helps so much and the fact that you're been reading the Ashton manual helps dispel the fear.  This post was written after I went through my cold turkey but its kind of a layman's perspective on what we go through.   What is happening in your brain

[[Buddie]]

I wholeheartedly agree no more rescue dose! Honestly it just is slowing down the healing. Wow that document you sent is an incredible and eye opening post and I just want to thank you!