4 months and not sure how I got here

Every day for last 4 months I got up, took a shower, crawled through the day and collapsed. I’ve made it 4 months of a bad movie and today I aired up the tires on my bike and rode 8 miles  each day I’ve set myself a goal even if it was cleaning out my sock drawer.

 

I wish I had a more uplifting story right now but the initial chaos is backing off some. I’ve never experienced a more consistent pain, panic and blur in my 51 years. When I stopped drinking 19 years ago locked up 4 times In hospital and a quick trip through jail, that doesn’t touch the pain that started December 12th just before Christmas with the family standing in a crowded mall. Bad place to start panic attacks!! lol (ok maybe only folks that have experienced this see the humor in dark stories)

Every day without benzo's is a day to celebrate. Keep going!

wester11, I see a lot of pain on BenzoBudddies and it hurts my heart but I see so much courage too and that lifts me up and today, your post lifted me up so thank you.  This was by far the worst experience of my life but making it through it and experiencing peace after months of torture was something I'll never forget and always be grateful for.  Gratitude, its what keeps us humble and I can see this in you. 

Wow.  What a journey!  You inspire 

Thank you for the kind words.

wester11 I from a jump perspective are right behind you at a little over 3 months.

 

Keep telling yourself you got this! Look where you have come and where you are.

 

Look forward to hearing your success story.

 

seeking