Author Topic: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!  (Read 4523 times)

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2022, 08:34:33 pm »
Thank you so much for sharing. I am nearing a year off and still so sick sometimes. Stories like this give a little hope. Did you have memory issues? I used to have an amazing memory and now it's like chunks of time is missing. Makes me sad and scared. Your amazing thanks for sharing.

Thanks for your reply. I had terrible memory and cognitive issues, especially in first year. I couldnít even read because I wouldnít be able to remember what had just happened and Iíd be too lost. Itís completely back to normal now.
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[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2022, 10:57:44 pm »
That is absolutely incredible. Thank you so much for coming back to the community and giving us hope. it's exciting to hear that people who are this far out get healed. hopefully I will be one of the late healed case very soon. much love.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2022, 12:44:09 am »
Thank you so much for sharing. I am nearing a year off and still so sick sometimes. Stories like this give a little hope. Did you have memory issues? I used to have an amazing memory and now it's like chunks of time is missing. Makes me sad and scared. Your amazing thanks for sharing.

Thanks for your reply. I had terrible memory and cognitive issues, especially in first year. I couldnít even read because I wouldnít be able to remember what had just happened and Iíd be too lost. Itís completely back to normal now.

Thank you so much. Im so glad you are better now. This is a rough experience 💗
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[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2022, 03:18:58 pm »
This success story is so encouraging, like you I got on these drugs for mild insomnia and I had a lot of the symptoms you had. To know you are healed is encouraging and I hope the rest of the tinnitus goes away, I too have it from this and hope the same for me. Healing does take place. Thanks for taking the time to write your story.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #24 on: April 18, 2022, 08:54:37 pm »
Sushine!

You know how closely I have followed you.
Same drug.
Same amount of time on.
Same rapid taper.

You are two years and some ahead of me but our paths became different when I was severely setback from an AB. You were one of the first people I reached out to. I think I remember you telling me that your setback lasted about 2 weeks. I'm still in it a year later and wondering if I truly will be the one who is different, who will never heal. I have a difficult time finding anyone with my metabolic/endocrine type symptoms so I feel like the outlier even here.

I am so glad you are healed and living your life. All of the best to you!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #25 on: April 19, 2022, 03:37:41 am »
Sushine!

You know how closely I have followed you.
Same drug.
Same amount of time on.
Same rapid taper.

You are two years and some ahead of me but our paths became different when I was severely setback from an AB. You were one of the first people I reached out to. I think I remember you telling me that your setback lasted about 2 weeks. I'm still in it a year later and wondering if I truly will be the one who is different, who will never heal. I have a difficult time finding anyone with my metabolic/endocrine type symptoms so I feel like the outlier even here.

I am so glad you are healed and living your life. All of the best to you!

Thank you so much for your reply. Of course everyone is different and for people with other medical issues as well it can complicate things somewhat. However there is a lot to be hopeful for, no matter what you are not stuck the way you are feeling now. Healing and recovery is always possible. Donít believe your benzo brains lies that it wonít get any better. It gets a lot better.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #26 on: April 19, 2022, 02:41:10 pm »
Glad I stopped in on the forum today & saw this.

Very happy for you [...]! Congrats! Thank you so much for sharing your lovely story of your great news and encouragement!  :smitten:

I know everyone's timeline is different, but we don't really hear from those who have healed sooner/faster because they have healed and left the forum.

With that being said, it looks like it takes a good time to heal .. like 2 years plus at least because that is why we are all on this forum. We are mostly all the cases that "take longer". It's mostly not 6 months and out. That's why we still look here to get and give support.

When I look at someone's timeline, and they are still struggling at even two years I am not surprised. I think: "Well, I've been there & I know how I felt then, and I know how far I have come since, and even though that person is surprised to still be sick at two years, I am not surprised. But, I do know they will improve as time passes because I have.

Do you feel that way when you look at the boards now [...]? When you see someone struggling at 2 years, or when one of us is shocked to get a wave three years out, do you think to yourself:  "I know it sucks, but I know they will get better, because I am at 5 years and I got better. I am living proof that life will be good again." Do you feel that way when you look at those on the forum who are at 2 or 3 years ?

When you said earlier in a reply on this string that even at 30 months, the next 18 months, up to even 4 years was still up & down. I can totally relate to that because that's where I am at right now. I'm just a month shy of 3 years & I think back to even over a year ago when I wrote somewhere on this forum that: "Withdrawal is meant to be survived and you move on". Now I think to myself about that comment I had made back then, & I need to tweak it a bit, "yeah, but it may take a few yearS .." lol.

The thing is that I got that quote from Micheal Priebe of the Lovely Grind. He's a pretty good withdrawal coach - very positive. But, even for him it took 3 or 4 years for him to get back to his normal life.

I can see it will be up & down for a while longer for me, but I am no longer all freaked out that I am "stuck like this forever." I had to gain some acceptance. There are weekS in a row that I will swear that withdrawal is over and I am completely healed, then I will still get either a symptom flare or maybe a wave every so many months. But, it's like a gradual climb up a large flight of steps. The waves are further apart, if I think about it, like a wave every 5 months. That's about two waves a year. Funny how I just realized in writing that just now, that the average of 2 waves a year isn't all that bad....Also, with each one they are less intense and I feel even more healed as I previously did when they pass.

I don't like to post this stuff much because Newbies can get scared when they read it can take this long, and because of their state of mind, when you try to explain that it's not acute or even close, the withdrawal brain gets stuck on that time frame.

The withdrawal brain sees "Oh no 2 years! 3 years, 5 years!" and it scares someone who is early on. I know it did for me. They don't understand how much it lessens this far out. Don't get me wrong, I can get a few hours of doubt still when I am in the throes of a bad wave, but I know to get out my "tool kit" and dig deep.

You start to learn that it will pass. You start to see the process more clearly as symptoms wane over time, and occur less frequently. [...], is this how it was for you?

In your signature I see that you felt a level of stability and were working, and exercising at 4 years .. but you waited another 10 months to write a success story. I think I will be the same way. I would wait months to be sure before I would write a success story. It just takes that long to know for sure, because in withdrawal time is the real healer.

Anyway, it was quite timely that I read your thread. It helps to encourage me that yes, that whole "up & down", "almost there/not quite there yet" part of healing can last for awhile & that's ok. It is normal.

Hugs  :smitten:
- Fortitude
« Last Edit: April 19, 2022, 03:14:38 pm by [Buddie] »
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[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #27 on: April 19, 2022, 05:58:39 pm »
Thank you so much for being generous and sharing your healing! It is a great joy for all to hear it.
I am 51 months old and like you at the beginning, I think that the cure is being cruel and that it never arrives. I continue with a lot of depersonalization about everything and great anxiety. the rest has been changing.
Long healing stories always give free encouragement. Enjoy life tremendously, hope to get there soon!❤️
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #28 on: April 23, 2022, 06:17:38 am »
Oh [...]!!!  :smitten:

I am just so happy to find your Success Story finally here on the boards! Waw!!! I know it has been a long grueling journey for you, I remember we exchanged some messages especially back in the early days when things were looking so bleak for both of us. So to find you finally reaching daylight again, finally rid of those horrible doubts over healing, it is just so wonderful!

I'm not there yet, really not there at all, I'm afraid. I haven't healed much, to tell you the truth, and still feel stuck in post-acute at nearly 5 years out. I'm just gritting my teeth and trying not to think too much. One day at a time, still surviving, I guess. Your success story fills my heart with joy for you, as much joy as I can feel in the state that I'm still in. Thank you so much for sharing, dear [...], and by the way, what a fitting screen name you had chosen for yourself back then! All good things do come in due time... Very Happy Healing to you, [...], enjoy every second of your newfound wellness and happiness. You deserve it big time!!!

Warm hugs,
[...]  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: I believed I would never heal...I was WRONG!
« Reply #29 on: April 23, 2022, 08:12:57 pm »
Oh [...]!!!  :smitten:

I am just so happy to find your Success Story finally here on the boards! Waw!!! I know it has been a long grueling journey for you, I remember we exchanged some messages especially back in the early days when things were looking so bleak for both of us. So to find you finally reaching daylight again, finally rid of those horrible doubts over healing, it is just so wonderful!

I'm not there yet, really not there at all, I'm afraid. I haven't healed much, to tell you the truth, and still feel stuck in post-acute at nearly 5 years out. I'm just gritting my teeth and trying not to think too much. One day at a time, still surviving, I guess. Your success story fills my heart with joy for you, as much joy as I can feel in the state that I'm still in. Thank you so much for sharing, dear [...], and by the way, what a fitting screen name you had chosen for yourself back then! All good things do come in due time... Very Happy Healing to you, [...], enjoy every second of your newfound wellness and happiness. You deserve it big time!!!

Warm hugs,
[...]  :smitten:

Thank you [...] so much for your reply,
I too remember exchanging messages with you earlier on. Everyoneís recovery and timeline is unique so donít be discouraged if someone else is getting to the finish line a little faster. Our nervous systems are continuously repairing the damage these horrible drugs have done, it will do itís job in time. Hope is so very important and thereís is plenty to be hopeful for.
 :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.