2 Months out and not sure if I can hang on

[[Buddie]]

Wonderful. Will with health upon you.

[[Buddie]]

Thanks, but I am still having horrible nights. Is it possible that a bad reaction to a cold turkey can break a brain? I am basically sleeping zero hours nightly for the past few weeks and I don't seem to be improving and just remaining the same.At times I'm thinking I should see a neurologist and see if there is something else going on with my brain.It feel like the shock of my intense cold turkey has done me in, just wondering if there's anything I can do at this point. My body just seems to have not allowed me to rest at all for the 2.5 months since my brutal cold turkey

[[Buddie]]

What are you other symptoms and has the severity changed?

[[Buddie]]

Hey [...],
Right now the sleep has just been non existent...feeling like zero hours for days on end...previously I would get a few hours and be up around 2 or 3. I'm still very disassociate (lights are brighter, videos seem sped up) I understand that this could be a result of depersonalization that I think the cold turkey triggered. Just concerned because I've felt pretty off the past 2 months and been riding it all out in the hopes things would improve. I am noticing good days mixed in here and there, but the sleep has been horrendous

[[Buddie]]

Your other symptoms seem manageable and would probably be so much lighter if you could get some sleep, this feels hopeful to me, I know, easy for me to say from the outside looking in.

What are you feeling and thinking while you're laying in bed, describe your typical sleepless night for me if you would.

[[Buddie]]

[...],
So basically I'm in bed around 10, do some meditation and maybe doze off for an hour or two..I then usually am wide awake between 1-3 sometimes in a panic, sometimes I'm just thinking about how my brain feels fried and I can't sleep. I'm rarely tired, and just lay there comfortably until the sun comes up. Thats been the last 70 days basically

[[Buddie]]

I'm surprised you can get to sleep so that's a bonus but waking like that every night must be terrifying.  When the panic has died down, is that when the thoughts about your brain being fried start and do you focus solely on that in a never ending loop?  And when you say comfortably, are you saying you don't have physical sensations, just the mental torture?

[[Buddie]]

Yep, for the most part its the mental aspect of thinking about how my brain may be fried. Plus the flashbacks of the multihour panic attacks after dropping off on Klon back in Jan. Just seems like my brain is in this never ending loop of panic and wont let me sleep

[[Buddie]]

Also a very short term user here. I’m SO SO SO glad I didn’t reinstate. It’s been a wild ride, but in all honesty I came out of it a better person. Hang in there — things improve with time for all of us.

Sleep was my #1 priority early on and the only thing that would work is exercising myself to the point of exhaustion. 1.5 hour walk in the morning and 1-2 hours cycle in the evening. No food after 6, followed by a warm bath, hot tea, l-theanine, occasional melatonin, and no screens. Despite the brain zaps and adrenalin, I would fall into deep sleep around 10 and wake up with adrenalin/cortisol jerk/terror at 4-6. Over time I would sleep for 7-8 hours every night like this.

[[Buddie]]

Thanks [...],
Yeah sleep was the first thing to go for me and has been horrendous since.in fact most of my symptoms are prob from the extended sleep deprivation lol..I've been trying to exhaust myself but may try some of your pointers to see if that will help! I was having sleep issues before benzos so I realize it could be tied to obsession and thinking about benzos non stop ...