2 Months Off Clonazepam!

Hey all,

 

I don't post much, but I wanted to pop and to say that I've been off Clonazepam for a little over two months now.

 

I wasn't planning on posting any milestones this early in the process, but I feel like the really intense acute part of withdrawal is coming to an end. This came as a big surprise to me, so I figured it was worth posting.

 

For what it's worth, all of my symptoms have been mental. Morbid intrusive thoughts/obsessions, panic attacks, derealization, irritability, anhedonia, etc. Really all the complicated stuff that doesn't even feel like symptoms. It felt more like my reality had turned into some sort of sick torture chamber.

 

It's not over, but the underlying anxiety has lessened just enough for me to take these horrific thoughts less seriously. I've begun to think a bit more about what I'm going to do with my life after this is all over, which seems like a good sign!

 

My 25th birthday is on Tuesday, and while I unfortunately won't be enjoying any rich meals or desserts, I'll at least be able to somewhat enjoy a movie with my family or something.

Oh my god - this makes me so happy, friend!! So great to hear from you. I'm so glad you'll be able to celebrate 25. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Thanks for coming on to say hi. Sending you a big hug!! 

 

openroad

Thank you so much openroad! So good to hear from you again. You were so good to me in those first few weeks when my whole world was collapsing around me

I am really happy for you cityzen! You've come such a long way and it wasn't an easy journey. I'm sure you'll see continued improvement.

 

Thanks for taking the time to give us an update and congrats on 2 months!!!

Big, big smile on my face right now cityzen, thank you for letting us know how you're doing.  A lessening of the terrible symptoms that dominated your life for too long is something to celebrate and the fact that you're looking forward to celebrating your birthday is a huge deal!  You've come so far, I'm so happy for you. 

All of you kept me going through the darkest days, so all I can say is thank you

 

I'll be back to make another update when I take the next step forward in my recovery!

Well darn... The OCD intrusive thoughts came back with a vengeance. I thought I had them figured out, but I guess it was just a window of decreased anxiety. But I'm glad I had that week to show me what it feels like to be able to disregard all those crazy dark thoughts and feelings!

 

Still not as bad as acute now, but definitely in some sort of wave. Here's to the next window being longer!

You got this, Cityzen.

I'm sorry they came back but you're doing the right thing by accepting this is part of the stupid ride, it left once and will again.  I agree with openroad, you got this! 

Wow I haven't been on here for like a month. I don't think being here so much was very good for me, but it was so necessary in the early stages.

 

Anyway, I think it's been like 3.5 months now since I came off. Still getting slowly better, but the intrusive thoughts and weird feelings still bother me quite a bit. Still not going out much, but I think that's because I don't really have anywhere to go haha. I went out to look at some plots of land in the country last week though, which was nice. I'm hoping to move out there and build a little house when I get closer to healed.

 

I've also been baking, sunbathing, playing video games for hours on end with my brother, and listening to some music again. These things can still be difficult, and I'm not carefree while doing them, but it's still a big step forward to be able to do them at all. I also ordered a new car, so hopefully I'll be getting out more when it gets here!

 

Sleep is still good. Social anxiety doesn't seem too bad. Eating well still. No physical symptoms really. Not much DP/DR anymore. Just the intrusive thoughts and some pretty rough depression at times.

 

Hopefully things speed up soon, but I know this stuff usually takes time and 7 months is the average for my age group (mid twenties).

 

Just thought I'd leave a little update for those who have helped me along the way! I'll probably come back to check for replies tomorrow and then disappear for a while again. I have email alerts for DMs though if anyone wants to reach me for whatever reason!

I'm happy to see you again and thank you for describing what you're dealing with, others will be looking at to gauge their own recovery timeline. 

 

I'm thrilled you're able to hang out with your brother and love that you're making plans for the future, and a new car!!!  That is going to be sweet, you'll be even more motivated to get out and if you can listen to music now, you'll be blasting the tunes in your new car.

 

Totally understand avoiding the forum, it can be a downer and you don't need that right now. 

Sounds like you're making some really good progress and the best part is you're making plans for the future! I'm really happy things are progressing and thanks for the update.

Thank you Pamster and jelly baby! You two have been so kind and encouraging through this process! I can’t wait to share a success story with you two.