3 Years

I wish I was here to write my success story and never thought I'd still be here at this far off considering I only used xanax for 5 months but here I am.

I think I would  have been doing so much better had I not had an AB setback at this time last year. Also, being in perimenopause has been a nightmare for me. My mom  had a difficult time with it too and she never had the benzo stuff on top of it. I get a cycle every three weeks so it's never enough time for hormones to stabilize and it is brutal. I also suffered another setback from drinking mineral water with artificial sugar and then abruptly stopping.

I see more setbacks in the future as my three older kids who have been my main support system are leaving for college all in the next few months. They are all I have and I am a single mom. I am still unable to work and have no idea how to support myself or my remaining kiddo at home. I have heard stress can cause setbacks as well and I don't know how to avoid this.

Having said all of this, there are improvements. Sleep, DP/DR, depression, anxiety, psychosis, weakness, vision have all gotten better despite the setbacks. I see little glimpses of me coming back and have even been able to watch tv here and there or enjoy a movie with my kids once in a while. I did have 6 weeks of stability a few months ago where I had no acute symptoms and was able to go to bed normal and wake up normal instead of being afraid. I've never had that before. But then, it was gone.

I'm in a phase now where I am cycling through acute symptoms. Every day it's a version of acute in some form. I feel so ill and metabolically sick. I have seen all the specialists this year from my GP to endocrine to rheumatology to OB/GYN and the last one will be nuero. I have a naturopath very familiar with benzo damage and he has run every test as well. Even my gut test came back really well. I know I have low thyroid/Hashimoto's and am in perimenopause but other than that, all seems to check out.

It's amazing to me to have gone from complete and total health to medical waste in 5 months time.

I'll keep going and keep trying and I hope you all do too.

I still have hope somewhere deep down inside that things can turn around for me. I'm not on here much anymore as it does not serve me well but am grateful for this site.

Warrior,

I remember / know of you. Your post speaks to me and I can see how the struggle has thrown a wrench into your life. I admire your strength and I hope one day this phase will be a thing of the past.

Best

kanoba

Hey Warrior,

Congrats on 3 years! Similar to you, I had at least two AB setbacks from taking Amoxicillin during WD that I'm nearly certain took me a good 3-4 months to recover from each time. It's so strange how AB's have an effect on the body's ability to heal from this type of damage. I really don't think it's possible to completely avoid stress during this process, especially because stress is a natural part of life. The best we can do is take care of ourselves while we wait for this nightmare to be over. Hang in there and hope you feel better soon.

I'm at 3 years now, and I just went through the same thing with artificial sugar a few weeks ago. I hadn't had any treats in a long time, because I was cooking all my food at home. So I decided to go over to Subway and get a footlong sub and a cookie and some kind of flavored Berry drink out of the fountain, I thought it would give me a break and taste good even though it's fast food. I was wrong, I ended up suffering with waves for about a week straight.

It was then that I decided no more treats, I'm sticking to my organic diet. But it's not the sugar, it's just artificial synthetic stuff and preservatives. That's what I think at least, I'm pretty sure our body is really sensitive to things that aren't supposed to be in it. Think about it like a cut on your arm, if you rub some kind of chemical in there, it's not going to feel very good and it's not going to heal very fast. But if you have organic nutrients and good bandages, it will heal a lot quicker. I wish you the best.