Insomnia not getting better

I’m sorry to hear about the bad sleep on Monday night. I hope you got a make up sleep on Tuesday. Thanks for the encouraging post. My make up sleep on Tuesday was on only 3 hours of light dream filled sleep. Better than nothing I guess. This is just insane to me how much it messed up my sleep. Why did our symptom have to be long term insomnia. I think I could deal with almost any other symptom but long term insomnia almost feels like a slow death. You can almost force yourself to deal with anxiety or agoraphobia or claustrophobia but you cannot force yourself to sleep. Can’t wait till I get to the other side of this.

 

Thanks for supporting me thru this

Crazy as it seems right now, insomnia is one of the more common WD symptoms and the Ashton manual says it takes 6-12 months to resolve for most.  I was right in that range at about 10 months when I started to get 4-5 hours every night.  You'll get sleep back like that too.  I just don't know when that will be?

 

I did get a decent night of sleep last night after the 2 hour Monday night.  I think I got 6.5 to 7 hours of broken sleep but I feel really good today.  My Fitbit said I had 1 hour of deep and 1 hour of REM sleep and the rest was light sleep.  Thanks for checking!

 

I totally agree that any other symptom is much easier to deal with because if you could sleep, you wouldn't recognize or notice anxiety, depression, claustrophobia, tinnitus, etc.  Those all temporarily disappear while sleeping, but remain when you don't sleep. 

 

Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made and you WILL get past this and get some sleep back soon. 

Xray, your sig says you were only on the xanax for two months, but it does not say for what. Why did you start it? Were you sleeping ok prior to the xanax?

 

Are you still taking the mirt?

Xray, your sig says you were only on the xanax for two months, but it does not say for what. Why did you start it? Were you sleeping ok prior to the xanax?

 

Are you still taking the mirt?

 

AB I was Xanax for some situational anxiety at work. When the problem resolved itself I no longer needed it. Told my doc I was wanted to quit, she said just quit. You’ll have some flu like symptoms for a couple weeks. 5 months later, here I am not sleeping. I never had any issues sleeping before this. Usually got sleepy around 8 and went to bed and was asleep by 8:30. Usually slept until about 4:30 or 5. Until this happened to me I didn’t even know that this kind of insomnia was possible. As far as the mirt. goes, I try to only use it no more than 3 times a week. I don’t want to get tolerant to it and I am afraid it will slow my healing. I’m probably going to use it tonight.  2 nights of horrible sleep is about my max. I can usually get about 5 decent hours with the mirt.

A little over 5 and half months off a ct of 1.5mg/day. I really need some encouragement. This insomnia is not getting better. The cumulative amount of sleep deprivation is really getting to me. I don’t have enough energy to do much of anything. The worst part is I am stuck. I can’t go back and I don’t see any way forward. I’m currently getting maybe 2.5 to 3 hours a night of light crappy sleep. I was really hoping to see a little improvement by now. I only used the stuff for 2 months. I think I may have permanently damaged my brain by going ct. i regret every decision I made concerning these poison pills. I should have never got on them in the first place but I definitely should not have went ct. I foolishly believed I my doc when she told me that I would only have flu like symptoms for a couple weeks. I should have researched it in my own but by the time I did it was way to late to reinstate. So here I am stuck in this limbo world of being alive but not able to participate in life.

Xray said>>>

So here I am stuck in this limbo world of being alive but not able to participate in life.

I like how you put that Xray. I feel the same way.

AB

I can’t wait until we come out on the other side of this.

It just sucks that this is our life for right now.

Had my hopes up after a semi decent sleep 2 nights ago. I felt so good the next day. All symptoms were gone. I grilled some hamburgers played a little basketball took the dog for walk. It was great.Last night, bam, back to 3 hours. Do you think maybe I over did it and sabotaged my sleep?

Hopefully tonight will be better.

No, you didn't do anything wrong...that's  exactly how sleep returned for me and almost everyone else on this forum?

 

I would get a decent night's sleep, feel good the next day and then get hit with a zero night the next night...that slowly morphed into getting at least some sleep the next night...here's a short look at a sleep log I kept in January and February 2017....all of my sleep was broken but I just stopped recording that...

 

By comparison, last night my FitBit said I had 1 hour 21 minutes of REM sleep 1 hour 31 minutes of DEEP sleep and 5 hours of LIGHT sleep for a total of 7 hours and 52 minutes of sleep.  That seems about right....something you get to look forward to as well! 

 

January 9 - 3.5 to 5 hours broken

January 10 - 3 hours broken

January 11 - 3 hours broken

January 12 - 0 (no perceived sleep)

January 13 - 3-5 broken

January 14 - 0 (no perceived sleep)

January 15 - 7-8 hours broken

January 16 - 0 - .5 hours

January 17 - 3-4 broken

January 18 - 5-6 hours broken

January 19 - 2 hours

January 20 - 7 - 8 hours broken

January 21 - 3-4 hours broken

January 22 – 2 – 3 hours broken

January 23 – 3-4 hours

January 24 – 7-8 hours

January 25 – 1 hour  (high Anxiety)

January 26 4-5 hours

January 27 0 (no perceived sleep)

January 28 - 4-5 hours

January 29 - 2 hours

January 30 – 2-3 hours

January 31 3-4 hours

February 1 6-7 hours

February 2 2-3 hours

February 3 6-7 hours

February 4 2-3 hours

February 5 .5 – 1 hour

February 6 5 hours

February 7 0-1 hour

February 8 4 hours

February 9 4 hours

February 10 2 hours

February 11 6 hours

February 12 0-1 hour

February 13 6 hours

February 14 6-7 hours

February 15 0-1 hour

February 16 4.5 hours

Feb. 17 0-1 hour

Feb. 18 5 hours

Feb. 19 3 hours

Feb. 20 0 (no perceived sleep)

I guess I’m just hoping for a miracle. I don’t know how you managed to work during this. I feel awful and brain sick on the days I don’t get any sleep. And when it goes to multiple nights my brain just quits working. I’m gonna have to figure it out soon. I don’t have much more disability to take from work.

Hopefully you'll get a nice stretch of some sleep every night.  I did just fine on 3-4 hours per night as long as it was every night.  The "trick" is to convince yourself that you are OK regardless of how you actually feel.  3 hours isn't much but it's A LOT compared to a zero night. 

 

I used to think I should feel like garbage after a poor night of sleep and then I realized that I can't go back and redo the night before so I'd have to make the best of it.  I could either go along with how I felt and make it worse by wallowing in self-pity or I could try to be as grateful and happy as possible given the crummy circumstances.  It's not easy but it is possible.  Response is the root word of "responsibility."  You can't control how much you sleep, but you CAN control your "RESPONSE" to that lack of sleep the next day!

 

Remember,  if you had that nice 6-7 hour night you will have one again....SOON!

 

 

My streak of no sleep continues. Only got maybe 3 hours of light sleep last. I’ve been going 5 and half months now on barely enough sleep to survive. I’ve only had a few decent sleeps in all that time. I’m slowly losing my will to fight this. I sometimes wonder if this healing is actually just a mythical thing that I’ll never achieve. I got screwed by a drug that is easy to start, hard to quit, and once off it you cant go back. What a conundrum. I guess I’m stuck fighting a fight that possibly has no end.

I was exactly where you are now some time ago and after having months and months of poor sleep I made a post that was entitled "healing is a myth." I thought that I somehow would never heal and I had a "special" case or type of WD that no one else had.  It was all Benzo lies.  Benzo WD gets you to believe lies that are just that...outright LIES.  You WILL heal, you WILL get your sleep back.  But right now your brain and thoughts all go to the extreme negative and worst case scenario...and the irony is you believe those lies even though you logically know they're not true.

 

I wanted to reinstate many times but realized that even if I did, it would only provide a night or two of relief and then would most likely reset my healing clock and all of the nights of suffering with little or no sleep would have been for nothing!  You already made it over 5 months...better nights could happen tonight or next week or next month...but you won't know that unless you continue to fight.

 

A few others on this forum, RedOne and RKO, had a similar experience to yours.  They were both short-term users and had months and months of very little sleep just like you, but they both recovered when they didn't think recovery was possible and that they'd be stuck for life and were permanently broken. Do a search for some of their posts.

 

Healing and Recovery from Benzo WD is not a conundrum...it only feels like one and it only feels like there is no end because no one can say with any certainty when your WD will end but it will.  It's not like if you break your arm and the doctor puts a cast on it and says in 6-8 weeks you'll be healed.  But healing does happen for everyone and especially if you never had the symptoms you are experiencing now prior to Benzos!

 

Besides you don't want to go back on a drug that only "masks" symptoms.  Benzos don't treat, cure or fix any underlying conditions.  They don't work like ABs for an infection.  They simply down regulate GABA receptors and make most people calm and relaxed and that's why they can knock you out for sleep or mask anxiety until they do not.  But they should never be used as a long-term solution for anything and should never be prescribed for more than 2-4 weeks Max. 

 

IMO using Benzos is like putting a piece of black electrical tape over the check engine light on your vehicle's dashboard and then saying to yourself, "that problem is fixed"

 

It only appears hopeless at this point in your healing and recovery, but better days are ahead.  I remember when I started to get 3-5 hours every night with only 1 or 2 very poor nights per month, I thought I was completely healed, but sleep continued to get better.  I went from averaging 5-10 hours per week to 15 to 20, then 20 to 25 then 25 to 30 and so on.  Today,  I average over 50 hours per week every week and I went on Benzos for insomnia in the first place.

 

There is hope, there is healing...just do your best to be patient and get through each day until your sleep evens out...AND it WILL even out...

 

 

 

 

Another point to consider...

 

You can't make yourself sleep.  It's something that comes naturally when we are calm and relaxed...

 

In fact, I came across a study that had 2 different groups in 2 different rooms with enough comfortable beds for everyone in both rooms

 

The first group of people were told that the first person to fall asleep would win $1,000

The second group of people were only told that in the morning one lucky winner pulled from a "hat" of names would win $1,000

 

All people in both rooms were monitored by cameras and tracking devices throughout the night

 

The results showed that the first group that was told whomever fell asleep first would win $1,000 actually took 1.5 hours longer (on average) to fall asleep than the 2nd group

 

I know this is only one study but I've had this happen to me while driving on 24 hour cross country trips.  When it was my "turn" to sleep, I stayed awake until it was my turn to drive again.

 

That's why meditation and breathing is important to practice...can it touch Benzo-induced insomnia...most likely not, but it could make you relaxed enough to get some extra minutes or even an hour of extra sleep?

Another 3 hour night. This is starting to really wear on me. That’s 9 hours of sleep in the last 3 nights. I feel like garbage today. I really hope I get a get a make up sleep soon. My brain is just killing me.

Sorry 9 hours in 3 nights is wearing you out, but things could always be worse...3 hours isn't great each night but I'd gladly take 3 hours on a night when I'd get 1 hour or less of sleep.  It's all situational. 

 

If you were in the dessert dying of thirst and someone offered you 1 million in cash or a 32oz bottle of ice cold water, which would you take?  Almost everyone, in their right mind, would take the water as the money can't do anything for your thirst.

 

I had a few months of averaging 5-10 hours of sleep per week.  And as I already said, that slowly morphed into 10-15, then 15-20, then 20-25, then 25-30, and so on until I was up to about 45-50+ hours every week.

 

One other thing that helped me was to not talk about sleep or how I felt with anyone, not even family.  If someone asked how I slept the night before, I'd politely change the subject.  The more we dwell on something the worse it becomes.  The mind is very powerful and thoughts can literally kill over time.  That's why I keep pushing for everyone to try to be positive and grateful for any and all sleep.

 

I had an off night again last night.  I didn't fall asleep until after midnight and then was wide awake just before 5:00 am.  My FitBit said I had 55 minutes of Deep sleep and 58 minutes of REM sleep and the rest --2 hours and 43 minutes was light sleep.  I feel OK today except being a bit tired.

I rotate between Ambien and Lunesta every other night. It seems to keep the tolerance at bay. I'm lucky to have a good Dr who works with me.

Ambien and Lunesta are Z-drugs or what I like to call "Benzos in disguise"  All Benzos and Z-drugs eventually stop working and then you might be left with horrible WD and severe insomnia? 

 

Almost all doctors don't recognize that Benzo WD even exists and any doctor that prescribes Benzos or Z-drugs longer than 4 weeks is not doing you any favors.  You'd be lucky to find a "Benzo-wise" doctor that understands the risks that Benzos and Z-drugs have from even short-term (less than 4 weeks)of use.

I’ve discovered something about myself and this insomnia. I’m found that I’m not really anxious about not sleeping. I usually go to bed mostly relaxed. My fear is about the next day after a zero night or a a night of only getting a couple of hours. The next day is miserable and all I can think about is how exhausted my body and brain are. No matter what I try to do to distract myself. Is it like this for anybody else?

I rotate between Ambien and Lunesta every other night. It seems to keep the tolerance at bay. I'm lucky to have a good Dr who works with me.

 

I rotated between Ambien, Lunesta and Benzos and all I can say about that experience is, "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!"

I rotate between Ambien and Lunesta every other night. It seems to keep the tolerance at bay. I'm lucky to have a good Dr who works with me.

 

I rotated between Ambien, Lunesta and Benzos and all I can say about that experience is, "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!"

 

I concur. Pop over to the z drug thread and see what those drugs have done to people. Z drugs slayed me. Your dr is a moron

I'm putting a reminder here to be respectful of others and their experiences with the healthcare system.  Name calling is very disrespectful.  Here is our policy regarding this issue:

 

Whilst some of our members report negative experiences with doctors, psychiatrists, or the wider medical profession, and although we do not wish to outlaw comments about how members feel let down or mistreated in their personal medical care, you are not permitted to use this community as a platform to spread general anti-doctor, anti-psychiatry and/or anti-health care professional propaganda.  Nor should you name those involved in your healthcare.  For more about this policy, please read our Anti-doctor, Anti-psychiatrist and Anti-medicine Comments notice.

 

Kate08

Admin Team

Yeah, I'm right there with aloha and Shayna. My doc gave me all the Ambien I asked for. And the xanax, too. I had great sleeps . . .until I didn't.

 

Donewithit . . . I don't think your using z-drugs is gonna end well.    Do pop over to the z drug thread and read about ppl's experiences.

 

Best,

 

Katz

I’ve discovered something about myself and this insomnia. I’m found that I’m not really anxious about not sleeping. I usually go to bed mostly relaxed. My fear is about the next day after a zero night or a a night of only getting a couple of hours. The next day is miserable and all I can think about is how exhausted my body and brain are. No matter what I try to do to distract myself. Is it like this for anybody else?

 

Yep for me

Yeah, I'm right there with aloha and Shayna. My doc gave me all the Ambien I asked for. And the xanax, too. I had great sleeps . . .until I didn't.

 

Donewithit . . . I don't think your using z-drugs is gonna end well.    Do pop over to the z drug thread and read about ppl's experiences.

 

Best,

 

Katz

 

Did your sleep recover?