Insomnia not getting better

Xray,

 

I think I know what you mean about "hollow" sleep. I have had sleep that was so shallow that it was like daydreaming while I am still awake. Not really restful at all. I was and am just like you; wanting that deep, restful sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed. As I said last night, I am still back and forth. Last night was 2 to 3 hours of light sleep again. I never know what I am going to get. Hang in there, Xray! Even if you can lie down and rest, it's better than nothing.

 

I call it "airplane seat sleep".

 

That’s a great way to describe it. Your sleeping but not really that deep. That’s why I call hollow sleep because it just seems empty or fake. On a brighter note, I did get some 3 hours of sleep last night and it was nothing but dreams… maybe some healing going on? Fingers crossed 🤞

 

Xray

 

Nice!! Probably the beginning of a trend. The timeline seems right for it!!! That bad insomnia sucks although it is good for weight loss if you need it.

Lol, I definitely do not need to lose weight. Until just recently I ran 6 miles every morning. I’m so exhausted lately that I can barely go on a one mile walk. I do miss my morning runs. 😢

On a brighter note, I did get some 3 hours of sleep last night and it was nothing but dreams… maybe some healing going on? Fingers crossed 🤞

 

 

When I was finally able to get some sleep after quitting Ambien I had terrible slasher type nightmares but saw them as my brain struggling to right itself, I think you're right, dreams are a good sign.

 

I have never slept on an airplane. I can't. I have tried. Too uncomfortable. I have to be lying down. I am 53 and I have been that way my whole life. I went on a 4-day bus ride once and couldn't sleep sitting up, so I just didn't sleep. sucks!

 

Anyway, I also dream in my light dream states. Sometimes that is how I know I slept. I will think I have been awake all night but then realize I must have slept for a few minutes because I remember dreaming.

 

Sleep! Fascinating science.

 

I am off to bed. Last 2 nights weren't great. Wish me luck!

 

HM

I am just like you HM. I have to be in a bed lying down (preferably dark quiet room) in order to sleep. I don't see how some ppl are able to sleep on trains, planes, and busses. These ppl are fortunate actually bc they have very little to no trouble sleeping. I am jealous. LOL

Hello,

I have been lurking around this site for about 3 months now trying to get some hope that this will end.

I was on Xanax 1.5 mg/day for about 2 months. When I realized I had become dependent I quit c/t. I didn't realize at the time what this meant for me and by the time I found this site and learned what I had done to myself it was to late to reinstate for a taper. I only have 2 symptoms left insomnia and anxiety. The insomnia is brutal and I am only sleeping about 3 hours every other night if I'm lucky. The insomnia is brutal and I'm not sure how much longer I can survive like this. Hopefully somebody can give some encouragement because this doesn't seem to be letting up. All of my other symptoms have gone except these 2. I really believe if I can get some relief on the insomnia that the anxiety would go away as well.

 

I didnt have any improvement until 3,5 months out, many 0 to 3 hr nights until then, from 3,5 months out no more 0 hr so far and getting between 5 to 6,5 hrs mostly, very few 3,5 to 4 hrs. I am actually surprised I am writing this because in my mind its still bad because its still not back to normal, but its better than it was!

 

it will get better just dont touch any "medication".

I am just like you HM. I have to be in a bed lying down (preferably dark quiet room) in order to sleep. I don't see how some ppl are able to sleep on trains, planes, and busses. These ppl are fortunate actually bc they have very little to no trouble sleeping. I am jealous. LOL

 

I am jealous too. I have to at least be lying on a couch to sleep but, preferably, a bed. I also have to have a cool, dark room AND I use ear plugs to boot. Fragile sleeper, I am.

 

HM

REM Rebound (aka "dream sleep") is a good sign and happens to those that had insomnia during their WD as sleep begins to return.

 

Deep sleep is the most restorative physiologically, but REM sleep is the most restorative psychologically!

 

I remember instantly being able to start dreaming after I would fall asleep....I would sometimes wake up only 5 or 10 minutes later and remember my dreams that normally don't kick in until the end of a sleep cycle.  An average sleep cycle is 90 minutes for most people.

 

Your brain knows exactly what type of sleep to give you as it begins to return and "microsleep" will help sustain you mentally and physically until sleep evens out.

Very interesting and GTK, theway. I am so fascinated by the brain, especially regarding sleep.

 

 

HM

I’m at about 5 months now and I’m still not sleeping. I can’t initiate sleep without some sort of Rx aid and once intiated I can’t maintain it. Last night I resorted to 25mg of seroquel. It worked to initiate sleep and I was unconscious for about 4 hours but when I woke up I was wide awake. I’m not getting any restorative sleep and it’s starting to really take a toll. My mental functions are much slower and physically I can’t do much but move around the house. I really hope I turn a corner really soon. I hope I’m not like this much longer. A 2 month mistake has pretty much put my life on hold for the past 5 months and I can’t see an end to it anytime soon. I feel horrible for all of the BB who are going thru this with me. I pray for each of us to heal soon.

 

Xray

Xray,

 

It might not feel like it, but your brain/body are getting the sleep they need to get you through this while your CNS heals.  I didn't think I was getting any restorative sleep either, but a sleep study proved otherwise.  It wasn't a lot but out of just under a few hours of sleep I got during the study, by taking Seroquel, I had 23 or 26 minutes of deep sleep according to the results.  I woke up wide awake too at about 1:30 am and ended up going home at 4:00 am as I could not fall back to sleep, so  the sleep study technician said I could leave.

 

The point is, you are getting some deep sleep when you sleep at least an hour or two.  You wouldn't know that without some type of monitoring anyway.  Even when sleep started to return for me, it never felt restorative and it took many months for it to start to feel that way.  It was mostly REM sleep and I could start dreaming almost immediately.  See my post above about REM Rebound sleep. 

 

You were a short-term user, so hopefully you'll heal quicker, but there are no guarantees?

 

The worst sleep for me started at month 3 and lasted until month 9 or so. Then it slowly started getting better.

 

There's no shame in taking seroquel to get some sleep.  Just stay away from Benzos and Z-drugs.

 

I believed I could not initiate sleep either without taking something and several times I thought I did get any sleep, but my wife told me the next day she heard me snoring or breathing heavier a few times during the night.

 

Don't lose hope.  This is all temporary, although it certainly doesn't feel like it right now.

 

Your sleep will return, slowly, over time!

Thanks TW,

I hope your right. But unless a miracle happens soon I think I’m probably stuck with insomnia for a while. I sure never expected to spend my mid 40’s fighting off an addiction to a drug that I didn’t know was addictive. Has this been a narcotic I would have been way more carful with it because everybody knows that pain killers are addictive. I pray every week that this will be the week that some sleep starts returning. Anyway, thank you for always being positive and giving out hope. One day I hope to be able to do the same thing you’re doing.

 

God bless.

Xray,

 

The irony is that people on narcotics usually experience an intense WD period that lasts about 30 days or so for most...it is rarely protracted like Benzo WD.  I went to the Coleman institute for his Flumazenil treatment to help with Benzo WD.  Most of his patients were there to get off of narcotics--specifically opiates, heroine, alcohol, pain medication, methadone, suboxone and prescription drugs.  I was told most of these patients are back to normal in 30 to 60 days although some take a bit longer.  So it's extremely frustrating to take a doctor prescribed Benzo and suffer for months or years and then have people abuse illegal drugs and narcotics and get through WD a lot sooner.  It doesn't seem fair, but little in life is.

 

Praying for some relief for you soon.

 

Blessings!

Saw a sleep doctor today out of desperation. He of course said there is no way it’s still Xanax withdrawal after 5 months. At least he was honest about the sleep study. He said they would do it but I would be wasting my money because they really only check for sleep apnea. They would be able to tell me what stages of sleep I’m getting but they can’t really treat that. He prescribed me belsomra. It doesn’t have very good reviews but I’m going try it anyway.

 

Xray

Saw a sleep doctor today out of desperation. He of course said there is no way it’s still Xanax withdrawal after 5 months. At least he was honest about the sleep study. He said they would do it but I would be wasting my money because they really only check for sleep apnea. They would be able to tell me what stages of sleep I’m getting but they can’t really treat that. He prescribed me belsomra. It doesn’t have very good reviews but I’m going try it anyway.

 

Xray

 

Please do your research on Belsomra, it is a sedative hypnotic like Ambien.

Xray,

 

The irony is that people on narcotics usually experience an intense WD period that lasts about 30 days or so for most...it is rarely protracted like Benzo WD.  I went to the Coleman institute for his Flumazenil treatment to help with Benzo WD.  Most of his patients were there to get off of narcotics--specifically opiates, heroine, alcohol, pain medication, methadone, suboxone and prescription drugs.  I was told most of these patients are back to normal in 30 to 60 days although some take a bit longer.  So it's extremely frustrating to take a doctor prescribed Benzo and suffer for months or years and then have people abuse illegal drugs and narcotics and get through WD a lot sooner.  It doesn't seem fair, but little in life is.

 

Praying for some relief for you soon.

 

Blessings!

So true. My brother did a 14 day alcohol detox and was back to work 60 days later. He had some issues craving the alcohol for a while but physically he was fine. But then again the detox centers have alcohol and opiate detox down to a science. They know next to nothing about benzo detox. My doc told me I was on a baby dose of Xanax and I could just quit it. She said it might be rough for a couple of weeks but then I would be fine. Here I am 140 days later still not sleeping and no doctors believe my insomnia is caused by my xanax ct.

 

Xray

 

Saw a sleep doctor today out of desperation. He of course said there is no way it’s still Xanax withdrawal after 5 months. At least he was honest about the sleep study. He said they would do it but I would be wasting my money because they really only check for sleep apnea. They would be able to tell me what stages of sleep I’m getting but they can’t really treat that. He prescribed me belsomra. It doesn’t have very good reviews but I’m going try it anyway.

 

Xray

 

IT IS THE BENZO still at 5 months, i am 6,5 months out, have had ok nights but broken but still have bad nights and symptoms. i was completely healthy with great sleep. there are so many of us, nobody sprinkled fairy insomnia dust on us except big pharma... we need to heal its gonna take a long time

I know, it sucks that something as important as sleep can be taken away from us so easily. I miss the days I didn’t even worry about it. You did your daytime stuff and slept when you got tired. If you didn’t get enough sleep at night you would take a quick nap. Now it seems like everything I do is centered around sleep. I hate it!

All of my thoughts during WD, day and night, were consumed by worry over sleep.  As you said, prior to Benzos I never worried about sleep and many times tried to stay awake as long as I could.  Several times I stayed awake through the night on purpose as we drove cross country for 24+ hours without stopping to sleep.  It never bothered me and I would eventually crash the next afternoon after we arrived at our vacation destination.

 

The key to getting past this, and it's not easy to do, is to accept that sleep will be temporarily poor for some time.  Your sleep issues won't last forever.  Instead of feeling or thinking you should feel nonfunctional after a poor night of sleep, marvel in the fact that you can function on little or no sleep.  Be grateful for any and all sleep even if it's only an hour or it doesn't feel restorative.  Our minds are powerful and how we react to our situation can make things much more tolerable.

 

This won't make your insomnia disappear, but it could make the next day better?

 

I don't worry about sleep any longer.  Even if I get an off night every few months, I know its just a gust of wind and not the Category 5 Hurricane insomnia I had during my WD.  Storms don't last forever and your sleep storm will weaken and end too.

That’s gonna be super hard to do TW. I still don’t know how you did it. I’m only 5 months into this and it consumes my life. I miss fighting sleep, I hate fighting for it. If the sleepy feeling would just come back I know I’d would be home free. I pray every day this ends soon for all of us.

That sleepy feeling eventually returns.  Starting about 4 years ago, I would sometimes get so tired, I couldn't keep my eyes open and occasionally on the weekends I'll take a decent 90 minute to 2 hour nap in the early afternoon.  Something to look forward to! 

All of my thoughts during WD, day and night, were consumed by worry over sleep.  As you said, prior to Benzos I never worried about sleep and many times tried to stay awake as long as I could.  Several times I stayed awake through the night on purpose as we drove cross country for 24+ hours without stopping to sleep.  It never bothered me and I would eventually crash the next afternoon after we arrived at our vacation destination.

 

The key to getting past this, and it's not easy to do, is to accept that sleep will be temporarily poor for some time.  Your sleep issues won't last forever.  Instead of feeling or thinking you should feel nonfunctional after a poor night of sleep, marvel in the fact that you can function on little or no sleep.  Be grateful for any and all sleep even if it's only an hour or it doesn't feel restorative.  Our minds are powerful and how we react to our situation can make things much more tolerable.

 

This won't make your insomnia disappear, but it could make the next day better?

 

I don't worry about sleep any longer.  Even if I get an off night every few months, I know its just a gust of wind and not the Category 5 Hurricane insomnia I had during my WD.  Storms don't last forever and your sleep storm will weaken and end too.

 

 

Plus one. Learned that the hard way (by taking these Rx) in this process

I’m a bit nervous right now. Out of desperation for sleep I took .5mg Xanax, 15mg temezepam, and a belsomra. I am still awake. It had absolutely no effect on me. Now what?

I know, it sucks that something as important as sleep can be taken away from us so easily. I miss the days I didn’t even worry about it. You did your daytime stuff and slept when you got tired. If you didn’t get enough sleep at night you would take a quick nap. Now it seems like everything I do is centered around sleep. I hate it!

i hate it so much too!!!! i hate thinking oh can i tak emy kid to the zoo tomorrow, or go to work or go to a hotel or vacation home because what if i dont sleep and feel bad etc. i hate thinking about sleep in the day, i never did in my whole life! i could time it perfectly to get 7 or so hrs of sleep, have a nice evening watching my shows, reading... not freaking out if i had enough hours left to get enough sleep if i lay awake for hours etc. somedays i try to imagine how i felt and what i thought before this took up so much space in my mind and i wish i could go back to my old self and enjoy not thinking about freaking sleep. all the problems i thought i had before were really nothing... thats the only lesson i learned from this, but i need my sleep back to start enjoying that.

 

hate it hate it hate it

 

i try to refocus my attention and not think about it all the time but its hard... its somewhat easier on the days i got enough sleep to function, if i didnt get enough sleep i obsess about it all day. i guess its also hard because i still have some other symptoms, and still have to feel more like me again, all that doesnt help.

I’m a bit nervous right now. Out of desperation for sleep I took .5mg Xanax, 15mg temezepam, and a belsomra. I am still awake. It had absolutely no effect on me. Now what?

 

learn from it and never do it again... you will just have to ride it out like the rest of it and it sucks, but the only way out is through.make it one day at the time and your future self will thank you, thats all we can hope

I’m a bit nervous right now. Out of desperation for sleep I took .5mg Xanax, 15mg temezepam, and a belsomra. I am still awake. It had absolutely no effect on me. Now what?

 

You tested the waters and it didn't work so my suggestion is to move on from thinking Rx medications are the answer.  I don't think this experiment will hurt you, sometimes we have to see if we can go home again, turns out we can't.