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Insomnia not getting better


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Hello,

I have been lurking around this site for about 3 months now trying to get some hope that this will end.

I was on Xanax 1.5 mg/day for about 2 months. When I realized I had become dependent I quit c/t. I didn't realize at the time what this meant for me and by the time I found this site and learned what I had done to myself it was to late to reinstate for a taper. I only have 2 symptoms left insomnia and anxiety. The insomnia is brutal and I am only sleeping about 3 hours every other night if I'm lucky. The insomnia is brutal and I'm not sure how much longer I can survive like this. Hopefully somebody can give some encouragement because this doesn't seem to be letting up. All of my other symptoms have gone except these 2. I really believe if I can get some relief on the insomnia that the anxiety would go away as well.

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I have probably read almost every insomnia thread. I have nothing but respect for theway. I have no idea how he managed to do it. I have only been dealing with this for 4 months and feel like my brain is shutting down. I have used all of the different Rx medications and while they do get me about 2 hours or 3 of sleep it doesn’t feel like I’m at all rested. I know that there is nothing that can fix this except for time. But time seems to be moving so slow and it seems like I have had no improvement.

Thanks for responding to me pamster.

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I try to think of nothing. I just close my eyes and breath deeply and count my breaths. Some nights it works and I’ll drift off for about 3 hours. I never seem to get that long recovery sleep that others talk about after being awake for 2 or 3 days. The most I’ll get is 3 hours. I was really hoping that I would have started to get at least a few more hours by now. I wish I would have done some research before I quit c/t.

 

Xray

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Do you have stress, other than what is being caused by the sleep deprivation and anxiety?  Are you on any other medications that could be contributing?  Have you tired cannabis?
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Pamster,

I don’t take any other medications. Occasionally 7.5mg of remeron to try and get some sleep. I occasionally use magnesium, and tryptophan before bed. I have never tried cannibus. It’s not legal were am I at and I wouldn’t know how to get it. Not really much stress other than this insomnia. I’ve been on medical disability since January so don’t have to worry about work thank goodness. Im at my wits end and don’t know what else to do. Nobody really does. Docs just want to put me on a benzo and that would probably knock me out but it still wouldn’t be real sleep. I just keep praying that I turn some sort of corner soon and start getting at least a little more sleep.

 

Xray

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I guess this is just the way it's going to be until it isn't, I hate the powerlessness of this. I'm glad at least that you don't have to worry about work for now but your short use of the Xanax really did a number on you.

 

 

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Hi Xray,

 

I am super sorry that you are struggling with insomnia and anxiety. Those are my last 2 symptoms too. I know you are kicking yourself for CT off Xanax, but I tapered off and still had the insomnia. My point is: don't kick yourself. You may have gotten the insomnia anyway. Insomnia as part of benzo WD isn't uncommon at all, as you can see. I also went several months (3 to 4) getting 0 to 3 hours and, as you said it was "brutal". Very, very hard. I remember how elated I was when I got my first 4-hour night. It was like Heaven. Now, I am back and forth varying from zero to 8. I never know. From what I have read, it can really vary. For some people, it is more linear and for others (like me), it's all over the map.

 

Hang in there, Xray. We are on your team. Your brain and body have to straighten themselves out after your Xanax departure. It varies from person to person how long the recovery process is for all symptoms including insomnia. I still have anxiety as well. Mostly in the morning, when I first get up. It can be really bad. I know my body is healing and a lot of it is chemical. Same with you, I am sure.

 

Take Care. Wishing you well.

 

HM

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Xray, the insomnia that can go with benzo withdrawl really sucks - I really feel for you.  It took about a year for this nasty problem to resolve for me.  When I was a little over a year off benzos and at my wits end with not sleeping I asked my doc for an Rx for trazodone.  I take a small dose (12.5mg) at bedtime and that plus time helped turn the tide for me.  I think the help I get from the trazodone is more psychological than physiological but the better sleep is much appreciated.
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Thanks everyone. I truly don’t know how any of you got thru this. It feels like my brain is slowly being starved. I think about reinstating every single day just to get some sleep. I have tried trazodone and it did not work for me. Low dose remeron gets me some sleep but it still feels “hollow”. Sometimes it feels worse than not sleeping at all. I’m not sure what to do but something has gotta give. If I could just get a couple of nights of even half decent sleep that would help. Thank you for taking the time to respond everybody.

 

Xray

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Xray,

 

I think I know what you mean about "hollow" sleep. I have had sleep that was so shallow that it was like daydreaming while I am still awake. Not really restful at all. I was and am just like you; wanting that deep, restful sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed. As I said last night, I am still back and forth. Last night was 2 to 3 hours of light sleep again. I never know what I am going to get. Hang in there, Xray! Even if you can lie down and rest, it's better than nothing.

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Thanks HM,

I’ve stumbled across quite a few of your posts so I know that you’ve had a hard way to go. Thanks for taking the time to reply to me. For now my only option is to keep pushing thru.

 

Xray

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Hello,

I have been lurking around this site for about 3 months now trying to get some hope that this will end.

I was on Xanax 1.5 mg/day for about 2 months. When I realized I had become dependent I quit c/t. I didn't realize at the time what this meant for me and by the time I found this site and learned what I had done to myself it was to late to reinstate for a taper. I only have 2 symptoms left insomnia and anxiety. The insomnia is brutal and I am only sleeping about 3 hours every other night if I'm lucky. The insomnia is brutal and I'm not sure how much longer I can survive like this. Hopefully somebody can give some encouragement because this doesn't seem to be letting up. All of my other symptoms have gone except these 2. I really believe if I can get some relief on the insomnia that the anxiety would go away as well.

 

Xray,

 

Sorry you are suffering from Benzo-induced insomnia.  Ashton says insomnia typically resolves in 6-12 months for most.  Some take less time and some take more time.  No one knows when your insomnia will end, but it WILL end at some point.  The fact that you are getting some sleep (3 hours or so) every other night is a good sign.  Most of the Buddies on this forum when through a similar patter of getting sleep one night then none for the next night.  I went through that pattern for a few months and eventually it morphed into some sleep for 2 nights in a row, then 3, 4, 5 and so on.  It doesn't seem possible that you can live on so little sleep, but you can and lack of sleep will not kill you.  I used to believe something bad would happen to me from sleeping so little.  I had a ton of other symptoms that I was sure were being caused by some other illness or condition.  I had every medical test done that my insurance would pay for and all of the results came back negative or "normal." 

 

It doesn't seem possible, but each passing day will bring you closer to getting some regular sleep back.  It will be very UP and down...but eventually sleep DOES even out.  However, in the thick of your insomnia battle nothing seems possible and you'll always go to the negative even if you can logically wrap your mind around what is happening.  It's just the nature of Benzo WD and healing and recovery.  Yes, I'm pretty confident that once you get a stretch of sleep for days and weeks in a row, your anxiety will decrease...that's exactly how it played out for me too and I was also a short-term user.

 

Hang in there...you WILL heal...sleep will slowly return over time. 

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Thanks TW,

I know logically what you say is true and I do try to be encouraged by at least getting a little sleep. I have no idea how you did this for 10 months. Mad props to you. Right now I just try to make it until tomorrow.

 

Xray

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I’m about to head into my 10th month off…..I’ve been getting 0-3 at least that much and actually longer. sometimes I get 4-5 but not often. I work full time. Some days it feels like I will die, but I don’t. Eventually u get used to it I think. Doesn’t mean u are ok with it tho.

 

Hang in there x

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Thanks TW,

I know logically what you say is true and I do try to be encouraged by at least getting a little sleep. I have no idea how you did this for 10 months. Mad props to you. Right now I just try to make it until tomorrow.

 

Xray

 

I'm so sorry you are suffering and I know just how hard it is.  'One day at a time' is how I got through this process and the insomnia that went with it and it is how I live now.  I don't know how I missed this little philosophy but it serves me well now.

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I’m about to head into my 10th month off…..I’ve been getting 0-3 at least that much and actually longer. sometimes I get 4-5 but not often. I work full time. Some days it feels like I will die, but I don’t. Eventually u get used to it I think. Doesn’t mean u are ok with it tho.

 

Hang in there x

 

Shayna you’re a beast! How on earth can you manage that. There is no way I could work at the moment. My job requires me to drive all day and I just don’t think that would be safe. Not only endanger me but everybody else on the road as well. Thankfully my doc wrote me out of work for on disability so that gives me 3 more months to get this sleeping situation under control. I’m hoping for the best. I truly hope you start sleeping again real soon. You have been dealing with this way to long!

 

Xray

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Thanks TW,

I know logically what you say is true and I do try to be encouraged by at least getting a little sleep. I have no idea how you did this for 10 months. Mad props to you. Right now I just try to make it until tomorrow.

 

Xray

 

I'm so sorry you are suffering and I know just how hard it is.  'One day at a time' is how I got through this process and the insomnia that went with it and it is how I live now.  I don't know how I missed this little philosophy but it serves me well now.

 

Thanks Kate. That is exactly how I’ve been living my life since the middle of November. Who would have thought that 2 months use for a little situational grief would have turned into this amount suffering. It would have been easier if I would have just used alcohol. I wouldn’t have become dependent and I would probably be sleeping right now.

 

Xray

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I’m about to head into my 10th month off…..I’ve been getting 0-3 at least that much and actually longer. sometimes I get 4-5 but not often. I work full time. Some days it feels like I will die, but I don’t. Eventually u get used to it I think. Doesn’t mean u are ok with it tho.

 

Hang in there x

 

Shayna you’re a beast! How on earth can you manage that. There is no way I could work at the moment. My job requires me to drive all day and I just don’t think that would be safe. Not only endanger me but everybody else on the road as well. Thankfully my doc wrote me out of work for on disability so that gives me 3 more months to get this sleeping situation under control. I’m hoping for the best. I truly hope you start sleeping again real soon. You have been dealing with this way to long!

 

Xray

 

I didn’t work for a long time x I’ve been back at work 5 months. I’m sure u won’t be as bad as me x I’m a freak  ;D

 

Take that time to get some healing behind u x

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Hello,

I have been lurking around this site for about 3 months now trying to get some hope that this will end.

I was on Xanax 1.5 mg/day for about 2 months. When I realized I had become dependent I quit c/t. I didn't realize at the time what this meant for me and by the time I found this site and learned what I had done to myself it was to late to reinstate for a taper. I only have 2 symptoms left insomnia and anxiety. The insomnia is brutal and I am only sleeping about 3 hours every other night if I'm lucky. The insomnia is brutal and I'm not sure how much longer I can survive like this. Hopefully somebody can give some encouragement because this doesn't seem to be letting up. All of my other symptoms have gone except these 2. I really believe if I can get some relief on the insomnia that the anxiety would go away as well.

 

I spent 3 or so months like this and worse before I was hospitalized and detoxed (This will NOT happen to you as you are off and healing). Consider a sedating antidepressant suck as a tricyclic or remeron, but REGULARLY. They might help with sleep and improve mood/reduce anxiety, and they are not stimulating and harsh such as ssri's and snri's.

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Xray,

 

I think I know what you mean about "hollow" sleep. I have had sleep that was so shallow that it was like daydreaming while I am still awake. Not really restful at all. I was and am just like you; wanting that deep, restful sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed. As I said last night, I am still back and forth. Last night was 2 to 3 hours of light sleep again. I never know what I am going to get. Hang in there, Xray! Even if you can lie down and rest, it's better than nothing.

 

I call it "airplane seat sleep".

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Hello,

I have been lurking around this site for about 3 months now trying to get some hope that this will end.

I was on Xanax 1.5 mg/day for about 2 months. When I realized I had become dependent I quit c/t. I didn't realize at the time what this meant for me and by the time I found this site and learned what I had done to myself it was to late to reinstate for a taper. I only have 2 symptoms left insomnia and anxiety. The insomnia is brutal and I am only sleeping about 3 hours every other night if I'm lucky. The insomnia is brutal and I'm not sure how much longer I can survive like this. Hopefully somebody can give some encouragement because this doesn't seem to be letting up. All of my other symptoms have gone except these 2. I really believe if I can get some relief on the insomnia that the anxiety would go away as well.

 

I spent 3 or so months like this and worse before I was hospitalized and detoxed (This will NOT happen to you as you are off and healing). Consider a sedating antidepressant suck as a tricyclic or remeron, but REGULARLY. They might help with sleep and improve mood/reduce anxiety, and they are not stimulating and harsh such as ssri's and snri's.

 

Thanks Keagan,

I do have remeron prescribed and I use it when it’s absolutely necessary. I try to limit the amount of drugs and supplements I take because I want my sleep to come back naturally. But if this continues for much longer I may have to rethink my strategy.

 

Xray

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Xray,

 

I think I know what you mean about "hollow" sleep. I have had sleep that was so shallow that it was like daydreaming while I am still awake. Not really restful at all. I was and am just like you; wanting that deep, restful sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed. As I said last night, I am still back and forth. Last night was 2 to 3 hours of light sleep again. I never know what I am going to get. Hang in there, Xray! Even if you can lie down and rest, it's better than nothing.

 

I call it "airplane seat sleep".

 

That’s a great way to describe it. Your sleeping but not really that deep. That’s why I call hollow sleep because it just seems empty or fake. On a brighter note, I did get some 3 hours of sleep last night and it was nothing but dreams… maybe some healing going on? Fingers crossed 🤞

 

Xray

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Xray,

 

I think I know what you mean about "hollow" sleep. I have had sleep that was so shallow that it was like daydreaming while I am still awake. Not really restful at all. I was and am just like you; wanting that deep, restful sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed. As I said last night, I am still back and forth. Last night was 2 to 3 hours of light sleep again. I never know what I am going to get. Hang in there, Xray! Even if you can lie down and rest, it's better than nothing.

 

I call it "airplane seat sleep".

 

That’s a great way to describe it. Your sleeping but not really that deep. That’s why I call hollow sleep because it just seems empty or fake. On a brighter note, I did get some 3 hours of sleep last night and it was nothing but dreams… maybe some healing going on? Fingers crossed 🤞

 

Xray

 

Nice!! Probably the beginning of a trend. The timeline seems right for it!!! That bad insomnia sucks although it is good for weight loss if you need it.

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