Hello,
I have been lurking around this site for about 3 months now trying to get some hope that this will end.
I was on Xanax 1.5 mg/day for about 2 months. When I realized I had become dependent I quit c/t. I didn't realize at the time what this meant for me and by the time I found this site and learned what I had done to myself it was to late to reinstate for a taper. I only have 2 symptoms left insomnia and anxiety. The insomnia is brutal and I am only sleeping about 3 hours every other night if I'm lucky. The insomnia is brutal and I'm not sure how much longer I can survive like this. Hopefully somebody can give some encouragement because this doesn't seem to be letting up. All of my other symptoms have gone except these 2. I really believe if I can get some relief on the insomnia that the anxiety would go away as well.
[...],
Sorry you are suffering from Benzo-induced insomnia. Ashton says insomnia typically resolves in 6-12 months for most. Some take less time and some take more time. No one knows when your insomnia will end, but it WILL end at some point. The fact that you are getting some sleep (3 hours or so) every other night is a good sign. Most of the Buddies on this forum when through a similar patter of getting sleep one night then none for the next night. I went through that pattern for a few months and eventually it morphed into some sleep for 2 nights in a row, then 3, 4, 5 and so on. It doesn't seem possible that you can live on so little sleep, but you can and lack of sleep will not kill you. I used to believe something bad would happen to me from sleeping so little. I had a ton of other symptoms that I was sure were being caused by some other illness or condition. I had every medical test done that my insurance would pay for and all of the results came back negative or "normal."
It doesn't seem possible, but each passing day will bring you closer to getting some regular sleep back. It will be very UP and down...but eventually sleep DOES even out. However, in the thick of your insomnia battle nothing seems possible and you'll always go to the negative even if you can logically wrap your mind around what is happening. It's just the nature of Benzo WD and healing and recovery. Yes, I'm pretty confident that once you get a stretch of sleep for days and weeks in a row, your anxiety will decrease...that's exactly how it played out for me too and I was also a short-term user.
Hang in there...you WILL heal...sleep will slowly return over time.
