What I have learned in Counselling so far (6 sessions)

I am in Counselling right now, and it is helping with the anxiety so much!  If you can, I recommend it.  The "Acceptance and Commitment" path is good if you can find a counsellor for it.  I also just got a couple of books that I havn't read yet, but plan to, Claire Weeks is one of the authors, she also has a CD you can get, havn't listened yet but will.

 

From therapy:

 

1) Accept the pain of your current situation, knowing that it will not always be this way.  Acceptance is the big theme, the big skill to learn.  Acceptance is huge.

 

2) When you have physical symptoms, accept them willingly, without judgement, with kindness and compassion.  Know that they are just symptoms, welcome them, breathe into them.  If you fight them then you cause yourself more anxiety.  Just recognize that they are there.  You can also observe them like a scientist, describe what you feel, start at your toes, go on up, describe everything, put yourself to the outside perspective, it helps to give yourself distance from the symptoms and not get caught up in them.  This is so key.  Recognize that this stuff always comes on, stays a while, and then goes.  Know that it will go.  Accept that you have it.  Welcome it.  Don't fight it, you can even say to yourself, "Welcome Anxiety, my old friend".

 

3) When you are thinking unhelpful thoughts (regret is not a good train of thought - believe me, I am the expert at that one), label it (Regret Story), and make a note to yourself  "I'm noticing that I am thinking that Regret Story".  Don't try to make the thought go away, just notice it, then put it on a leaf in the stream and watch it float away. 

 

3.5) In the middle of the night, when I want to solve all problems past and future, I say to myself "There is nothing that needs to be fixed right now, nothing to be changed". 

 

4) Try to stay present in the moment.  For me this is hard but I am working on it.

 

5) You can choose the stories you tell yourself.  If your story line is sad, scary, worrying etc, remember that you can choose how you will view things.  Choose a different story line.  And, you can also choose how you react to things.  Realize that you are always telling yourself stories, but you own them, notice them, and maybe think about a different story line.

 

None of this is easy, but as I am practicing these things, they have been helpful to me.  Practice and reinforcement are key.  I have a CD that I am supposed to listen to every day.  When I am awake because of my sleep jerks, my sleepy brain is trying to remember to "Observe my symptoms like a curious scientist", "watch those thoughts drift off on a leaf", "label those stories I am getting caught up in", notice my withdrawl symptoms as a sign of healing, think of what I am grateful for, have a mantra "Stillness....and Healing".

 

There is a lot of healing to do, but we are on the road.  It's a journey.  I am thankful for the support of everyone who has taken the time to advise me through these difficult times.  It will get better for all of us.

 

best to you,

tiredgirl

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much for this post.

 

Love

Shell

This is great stuff, tiredgirl.    I love the part about changing the stories you tell yourself.  BTW, I listened to Claire Weekes' lectures I downloaded from iTunes and they helped me a lot so I'm hopeful that CD will do the same for you. 

Hi Tiredgirl,

 

This is some really good stuff. Acceptance is #1 for sure 

 

Thanks for sharing. It looks like non drug methods of coping with our problems are much better than drug based methods 

 

Mark

This is exactly the process as dealing with depression:

 

 

for anyone who is interested, the following website has a great amount of information that can be shifted to coping with benzo withdrawal:

 

[nobbc]http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/depression-learning-path/[/nobbc]

 

 

They have an interactive course (paid) available, but there is myriad free information.

Tired Girl - I wanted to ask you a question and I forgot it when I sent you a PM today......Is this Acceptance and Commitment therapy for

benzo people or is it for anxieties of all types.  I see you reference symptoms in your post and wondered if they were w/d symptoms or anxiety symptoms.  I agree that the stories we tell ourselves can be harmful and this is what I need to work on.  What is the CD you listen to - is it available to the public or only through your counsellor?

      Once my anxiety starts, it is hard to calm it down and think rational thoughts......

Thanks and I hope you are feeling better.

Love Hoping2BFree

Hi Hoping,

 

What ever anxiety issues we had before benzos have surely been made worse by benzo use 

 

I was prescribed benzos for muscle spasms, but soon after starting benzos I developed anxiety issues.

 

The good news is that at 5 months off, I am making good progress eliminating and benzo related anxiety issues.

 

We do heal once drug free my friend 

 

best wishes, Mark

Thanks for you response Mark - can you give us some of the thngs you do to eliminate the benzo-related anxiety stuff?  Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Congrats on being Benzo Free.  I am too, (4 months) but it doesn't seem to be making too much of a difference right now. 

Prayer, asking for acceptance, the realization that this to shall pass, daily exercise, staying as busy and productive as possible, helping others is often  the best help we can give our selves.

 

When in doubt, walk. Frequent small meals of healthy balanced fresh foods, positive self talk like "this symptom is from the benzos, it will pass and it will not kill me" I used this sort of thing when I was in acute w/d a lot  .

 

Hang in there friend,

 

Mark

Hi Hoping,

 

You asked about the CD it is Claire Weeks, "Pass through Panic" (beeper mentions that it is on iTunes also).  It is very insightful, makes completel sense to me how i got in this state and what I need to do to help myself out of it.  This is along the lines of what my Counsellor is also working on.  Bless Claire Weeks, bless her, she was the pioneer of this method I think.

 

Here is some info I get from Claire Weeks:

 

Accept...Face....Float...Let Time Pass....

 

That "Let Time Pass" is hard.  That is the impatient part of me saying "I want this gone and I want it gone now".  But it doesn't work that way.  It took me years of stress to get to this point, and I will not get it fixed overnight, except with Benzos and we all know where that goes.  She says to let as much time pass as is necessary.  That means for each time you have symptoms, accept it and let time pass.  For all of it to go away, accept it and let time pass.  These symptoms by themselves are so worrying that they cause anxiety, especially when we don't understand what is happening, and it becomes a positive feedback loop.  She explains that these symptoms are your body playing tricks on you because of an oversenstized nervous system.  She explains that they are not dangerous, nothing to fear.  She explains that you must be patient and let time pass, without fear.  I think also that you should just continue to live your life even if you are having symptoms, because you are accepting them and going on with your life.  That is what she said, apparently it works, I'm going to be trying it myself and find out.  I'm guessing that it will be a long term project.

 

I highly recommend getting her CD or iTunes stuff and give it a listen.  I'm going to listen over and over, I find that reinforcement is helpful. 

 

Best to everyone. 

tiredgirl

 

 

Hoping, I have another CD from my counsellor, it's home made.  That one is a "Mindfulness Meditation" cd.  You get relaxed, focus on something that's been bothering you, ask if these symptoms must be your enemy, mention that there is nothing to be fixed, nothing to be changed, then once your thing you were focusing on is no longer pulling on your attention, just let it go.  It's a very relaxing cd, more of a meditation cd than the lecture cd of Claire Weeks.  Sometimes at 3AM I get out the headphones and listen to that one.

 

Finding a good counsellor is not easy, but you can ask if they do Mindfulness meditiations and what is their philosophy of helping you deal with anxiety (i.e acceptance).  I find it really helpful to have a real person to talk to because he can redirect or reframe some of my thoughts and worries, it's very hard to do that for yourself.  Plus they give you techniques to work with.  The first thing he asks me is how are you doing, and I can go on for awhile about that.  Then he asks me how are you doing "right now".  And the answer is alway, "OK".  In other words, my past or future self may not be doing that good, but my present self is actually OK.  I'm starting to understand why he asks me that.  A sounding board is good, as is the encouragement.  And someone to talk to besides my poor husband!  That is what I see as worth doing in therapy, not so much delving into the past.  My therapist is actually an intern, fresh out of school (second career), and so he's also half price.  But it is actually priceless.

 

sending you hugs,

tiredgirl

Tiredgirl,

 

Thanks so much for posting what you have learned. My therapist (tdoc) has also been working with me on acceptance, and treating myself with kindness and compassion. Today is a bad day for symptoms for me, and my anxiety has also been worse the last 10 days or so. Kind of a free floating anxiety, also I was convinced that something horribly violent was going to happen. And I couldn't shake the feeling.

 

Thanks again for sharing.

Hi Tiredgirl, this was a great post.  I just started therapy (2 sessions in) and I am finding it to be beneficial already.  It's great to FINALLY tackle the real issues rather than to mask them by a pill.  I had a lot of stress that coupled with anxiety which caused insomnia.  Actually at first, I would wake up at 3am every night and couldn't go back to sleep.  I started to take benzos and once I stopped, I got hard core insomnia...can't even get to sleep, which wasn't my problem in the first place!

 

My therapist emphasizes Mindfulness and acceptance as well.  I'm beginning to realize that I attibute my self worth to successes in life.  Learning to be in the present is difficult, but so valuable.  Acceptance of who you are at this present moment without judging is also very imporant.

 

Thanks again. 

Hi Tiredgirl.  I needed to hear what you shared in this post.  Please keep posting what you have learned.  I would love to get some counseling but no insurance and too much $$$.  I did purchase the Claire Weeks DVD's and her book.  She is very good.  Appreciate your sharing - keep those posts coming