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Back on the bean


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I drank my first cup of leaded coffee today. I have missed coffee so much. I had a few sips yesterday and no craziness. I jumped in with a cup today and so far so good. I had missed the uplift that coffee gave me. Depression has been a real bugaboo for me and the coffee seems to help. I worried this day would never come. Decaf is not the same.

 

I think this is a milestone. Almost 11 months off. Back on the bean. Depression still there but trending positively in the right direction. One other thing, I am losing my fear of trying new things. First I tried mushroom powder and then St. John's wort (this past week). Both made me feel horrible and so I just stopped after a few days. So that is another milestone. Losing the fear of testing the waters.

 

 

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Oh my goodness, I'm happy to hear you're able to have your coffee again, there is something so comforting in that cherished first cup of the day.  I'm so bad that when I opened up a new bag of beans to grind yesterday I stuck my face in the bag and took a nose hit!  :laugh:

 

Thanks for letting us know you're doing a little better, hopefully a small return to normalcy help break up some of that depression.

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Congratulations, Holding. Glad things are working out for you.

 

I, too, am a coffee junkie and though I swore off coffee during my taper, I gradually started up again about a year after. First half caf, then full caf. No problems. Like Pamster, I cherish that first cup in the morning.

 

Trying new things -- that was a challenge for me, too. Especially going to new places. We moved to a new city right at the end of my taper, and it was a bit freaky. Aaaargh. But I pushed through and all's well (well, a lot better) now.

 

Best to you,

 

:smitten:

 

Katz

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Ok so that was short-lived. The anxiety that came roaring back from the caffeine hit me hard yesterday and I had to stop the caffeine. That plus my dog was being stalked and treated like a snack and had to remove her. Not sure if it was the caffeine or the dog or both. Point is, I have less anxiety around it. I tried it, maybe now is not the time and I am sure the baseline will return.

 

I did notice, however, that the caffeine made me feel SO much less depressed on day one. I googled it and it does increase dopamine so that makes sense.

 

Back to the salt mines.

 

 

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Its good you tested the waters, I'm sorry things didn't work out but the fact that you had a stressful event in that time frame makes me wonder if it that contributed.  Keep this in mind and don't be afraid to try it again, okay?

 

What happened with your dog, are you okay?

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Thank you and I just read my post and realized I left out the crucial element to the story. We were at the dog park (huge part of my rehab from benzos) and my little Peanut was stalked by two huskies that no one has seen there before. They were truly circling here and stalking her like the National Geographic specials on wolves. Anyway, they caught her and nipped her and we peaced out.

 

Good news is more learning curve- just because Peanut is small and all her buddies are big dogs, does not mean all big dogs are okay. I will be more careful in the future and Peanut is fine. Mama is not! :idiot:

 

I will try coffee again at a later date. I am ramping back down.

 

Oddly enough I was able to track my sleep for the caffeine days. Not so good. But that is not surprising. Being off caffeine almost 9 months and re-introducing. I felt like I was on something illegal.

 

Thanks for the support. :thumbsup:

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Thanks for filling in the rest of the story, Huskies especially in groups can be very menacing.  They became quite the popular breed because of the series Game of Thrones but people failed to realize how challenging the breed is to own and this has caused so many problems for the dogs.  Thousands have been turned into shelters or abandoned because their temperament isn't a good fit for most households.  I would have been terrified for my dogs in an encounter like this, I'm grateful little Peanut is okay, little dogs are fearless!

 

Well, sleep is more important than coffee but hopefully you can reintroduce it in the future.  :thumbsup:

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Dang HOTH, i was hoping you'd get to stay with your coffee. I've been drinking mine all along. About one half of the cup is half and half and I take it about an hour after my first dose, and just the one. Oh that hot cup in my hands in the morning is so soothing, Camomille, while having her own charms, doesn't quite cut it. LOL

 

I hope you can have your coffee again soon!

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This is one of the main things I'm looking forward to having back in my life, assuming I'm able; I also have a heart issue. I used to roast coffee myself and have a bunch of different brewing equipment, so yeah, it was a pretty big part of my life and our life (my wife and me). Withdrawal definitely requires some big life changes that flip everything on its head.

 

I do hope you can try again soon and have an easier time. In the meantime, there are some good decafs out there, but you have to get them fresh from a roaster by ordering, visiting a coffee shop, or finding a shop or grocery that stocks them. I've been considering trying decaf myself after cutting caffeine completely last July, but the small amount of caffeine and my daily symptoms have kept me away. Rooibos has been my friend in a mug.

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This is one of the main things I'm looking forward to having back in my life, assuming I'm able; I also have a heart issue. I used to roast coffee myself and have a bunch of different brewing equipment, so yeah, it was a pretty big part of my life and our life (my wife and me). Withdrawal definitely requires some big life changes that flip everything on its head.

 

I do hope you can try again soon and have an easier time. In the meantime, there are some good decafs out there, but you have to get them fresh from a roaster by ordering, visiting a coffee shop, or finding a shop or grocery that stocks them. I've been considering trying decaf myself after cutting caffeine completely last July, but the small amount of caffeine and my daily symptoms have kept me away. Rooibos has been my friend in a mug.

 

I'm sorry Holdingontohope, I don't want to hijack your thread but I'd love to hear more about Rooibos, had to google it.  Does it taste good, do you feel you're receiving health benefits from it?

 

And hereforhelp, I'm absolutely positive you'll be back to roasting and brewing when you recover.

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Just a piece of info: when I couldn't drink coffee, I tried a product called Teecino. It doesn't taste much like coffee, but it was (and is, I'm sure -- I don't drink it anymore) absolutely delicious. Touted as "a caffeine-free herbal coffee and tea alternative, with a bold taste" it sure is all that You can check it out at Amazon, or at Teecino's website www.teecino.com. You can brew it like coffee or steep it like tea. I loved the hazelnut variety. It saw me through three miserable coffee-less years of tapering!

 

Hope this helps.

 

Katz

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Thanks oregonkatz, I like something to warm me up in the evenings so I've got some Pero on hand but this looks interesting.
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Thank you everyone. I tentatively paced myself (reverse tapered? is that even a thing) to drink coffee again. Mainly because I found immense mood enhancing benefits and also it gives me a sense of normalcy and healing.

 

I am limiting myself to one cup and will definitely do the Teccino later in the day. I have had it before.

 

I am getting super sick as of yesterday and today so I can only assume that is why coffee seems hard to get down right now. I hope it is just a common cold but am going to take a home COVID test.

 

Thank you all for the input.

 

I did some research by the way and it seems that coffee acts on dopamine. Thus why it gives me a lift.

 

:thumbsup:

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Thank you and I just read my post and realized I left out the crucial element to the story. We were at the dog park (huge part of my rehab from benzos) and my little Peanut was stalked by two huskies that no one has seen there before. They were truly circling here and stalking her like the National Geographic specials on wolves. Anyway, they caught her and nipped her and we peaced out.

 

Good news is more learning curve- just because Peanut is small and all her buddies are big dogs, does not mean all big dogs are okay. I will be more careful in the future and Peanut is fine. Mama is not! :idiot:

 

I will try coffee again at a later date. I am ramping back down.

 

Oddly enough I was able to track my sleep for the caffeine days. Not so good. But that is not surprising. Being off caffeine almost 9 months and re-introducing. I felt like I was on something illegal.

 

Thanks for the support. :thumbsup:

 

 

Hi HOH- So happy Peanut 🥜 is ok 🐕 💕

I, too, have a small dog and have had some (minor) issues with larger dogs so am very cautious now, especially as he is 16! But he is still full of energy! I try to take him swimming these days more than the dog park. It’s good for his arthritis. Good you have a little companion. I cannot imagine going through this without my little pup. He has been with me through it all since I was 20yo.

I hope you can integrate coffee back in slowly. Maybe “nursery coffee” as my mom calls it. Coffee with lots of (whatever type of milk/creamer you prefer:) Thank you for sharing your progress.

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Thank you everyone. I tentatively paced myself (reverse tapered? is that even a thing) to drink coffee again. Mainly because I found immense mood enhancing benefits and also it gives me a sense of normalcy and healing.

 

I am limiting myself to one cup and will definitely do the Teccino later in the day. I have had it before.

 

I am getting super sick as of yesterday and today so I can only assume that is why coffee seems hard to get down right now. I hope it is just a common cold but am going to take a home COVID test.

 

Thank you all for the input.

 

I did some research by the way and it seems that coffee acts on dopamine. Thus why it gives me a lift.

 

:thumbsup:

 

Hey HOH- You may also wish to try “SootheUp Coffee”. It’s a brand I have that I mix with regular coffee sometimes. SootheUp is a blend of coffee and L-Theanine. The theory is it helps you focus/lifts mood, but doesn’t give you the “jittery effects” of coffee. I’d love to hear your thoughts if you get a chance to try it. Take care. Hope you feel better.

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