Author Topic: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution  (Read 614 times)

[Buddie]

Hi everyone!

So a little background on my taper so far.

I was prescribed 7.5mg 3 times a day for PTSD for the past 3 years

Last year I hit tolerance and not knowing anything started tapering

My body is hypersensitive.

Taper #1 2.5mg at once to 20mg. 4 months of living hell beyond description every symptom on earth hallucinations the works 24/7.

Leveled out about month 4 still disabled and bedridden cut another 1mg to 19mg. Cue 4 months of living hell same level of response.

month 8. at 19mg, got my first dose in liquid from the 1ml=5mg solution

tapered .125mg liquid so from 4mg liquid to 3.875 (.78ml liquid) 7.5 7.5 = 18.8875mg

4 months of hell same level of symptoms.

Hopelessness now sinking in, bearability reached max levels psychosis and delirium.

have been holding at 18.8875mg the past 4 months and have slowly started having windows and feeling human, still having tremors and a host of other agonizing symptoms. Still disabled hypersensitive to everything but I can feel like a human.
 
I can look at screens now and other stuff I haven't been able to do until recently.

So the question I have is am I healing from the overly fast nature of the initial taper and the break I've been on these past months? We're the smaller cuts and same level of agony because I still hadn't recovered from the 2.5mg?

Since I am holding and have the ability to feed and clothe myself etc. I am terrified to taper again. I am reading conflicting comments on diluting the 1ml 5mg version of liquid I get. Someone said I have to store in the fridge which I never done and the directions do not say to do so.

Would holding now for a bit longer going to keep me healing and put me in a better position to begin a micro taper?
People talk about diluting the 1ml 5mg but I bought a syringe that measures to .01 which I'm not sure the mg math that would be but should I give that a try soon?

I just can't tell whether to keep holding as my symptoms keep getting better or start now.

I am living in my brother's garage, lost everything and have used all my savings and have to file for bankruptcy and been denied disability.

the math of micro tapering 18.8875mg at some of the rates people talk about with dilution .001 etc. to make it bearable would mean I would be tapering for like a decade and like how could I live I already can't work and that many years is just insanity.

Please any help or hope would mean the world to me. I feel this is the end of my life. Thanks so much for taking time to read this.

Edit: Content

« Last Edit: February 25, 2022, 12:19:58 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2022, 11:55:57 pm »
Hi [...], is this Diazepam we're discussing?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2022, 12:18:57 am »
Hi [...], is this Diazepam we're discussing?

Hello, yes it is. Thanks for responding!

(got your content edit, my apologies.)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2022, 12:26:36 am »
No worries, but I need help with your situation so I'm going to call on some folks and hopefully you'll get some answers.  I'm so very sorry for the pain you're endured, I can see you've been doing your best but you haven't had the best path to follow, hopefully we can help you map one out.  :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2022, 01:09:16 am »
No worries, but I need help with your situation so I'm going to call on some folks and hopefully you'll get some answers.  I'm so very sorry for the pain you're endured, I can see you've been doing your best but you haven't had the best path to follow, hopefully we can help you map one out.  :smitten:

You are so kind I can't express my gratitude enough! I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you get an abundance of life blessings for your willingness to help.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2022, 01:31:29 am »
[...],

[...] asked me to check in on you.  I can help with some of your questions and on math.

I understand you are on 18.8875 mg of Diazepam.
I understand you have a 1 mL = 5mg solution.

Let us be sure we agree what that means.  If you wanted to eat 2.5 mg of Diazepam, you would drink 0.5 mL of the solution.  Is that your understanding?

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2022, 01:36:06 am »
Hi Liminalji, good to have you here on BB. I see [...] is helping you get a plan together. Hang in there. This does get easier with time. Please know that I feel for you and understand your pain. When you feel better you will be able to rebuild your life and it will be better than ever.
Hugs and Prayers💕💕
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2022, 02:30:56 am »
[...],

[...] asked me to check in on you.  I can help with some of your questions and on math.

I understand you are on 18.8875 mg of Diazepam.
I understand you have a 1 mL = 5mg solution.

Let us be sure we agree what that means.  If you wanted to eat 2.5 mg of Diazepam, you would drink 0.5 mL of the solution.  Is that your understanding?

Hi there, thanks so much! Yes that is exactly correct on the math. so I take .78ml liquid in the morning (converts to 3.8875mg equivalent) then 7.5mg tablet day (1 and one half 5mg tablets) and another 7.5mg tablet form in the evening.

I have also rigidly taken each dose 4 hours apart to the minute (3 alarms on phone) and have not deviated nor gone up once.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2022, 02:41:04 am »
I think much of your problem is what happened to me.

You can taper and taper and then all of a sudden, all the past tapers catch up to you and hit you all at once.  During my worse time, I had to hold for 8 weeks and even use Buspar for a couple of weeks.  I was then stable enough to continue the taper.

Remember, most people have symptoms all during the taper.  The trick is to taper so the symptoms are tolerable so you can continue the taper.  Using your liquid mix is perhaps one of the best ways to do a slow taper.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Utterly Hopeless. Liquid Taper from 22.5mg Diazepam with 1ml=5mg solution
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2022, 05:09:14 am »
I think much of your problem is what happened to me.

You can taper and taper and then all of a sudden, all the past tapers catch up to you and hit you all at once.  During my worse time, I had to hold for 8 weeks and even use Buspar for a couple of weeks.  I was then stable enough to continue the taper.

Remember, most people have symptoms all during the taper.  The trick is to taper so the symptoms are tolerable so you can continue the taper.  Using your liquid mix is perhaps one of the best ways to do a slow taper.

Ok Bob thanks for the reply. I think I'm going to hold a little while longer and dip my toe in when I start back up.

I guess every body is different in how we respond and it's a lot of trial and error unfortunately. But yeah, this last year I had to come to terms with it just not being bearable where I was and had to hold.

Hoping to get to a tolerable level to continue. Thanks again Bob.

If anybody else has any advice for the specifics of my dosing and timeline that would really help.

Right now I just can't seem to get to the bearable state of suffering with a progressive taper rate/duration.

Trust me I can endure more than most and pride myself on my inner strength and will but this, has been sub-human.

I think there has to be some way to accept the road ahead perhaps better planned?

Hope everyone is well!
« Last Edit: February 25, 2022, 05:17:18 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.