Should I be waiting for the shoe to drop?

[[Buddie]]

I just starting crossing over from Xanax XR to Valium on 2/8/22 and It's been better then just taking Xanax XR.  I have been feeling better, I know I am just crossing over still, but I am feeling better on Valium and not having those interdose withdrawals like I did with Xanax.
Tonight is my first real Taper from Valium, I am only going from 10mg Valium in the evening to 9mg Valium for 2 weeks.  I know this is slow, but it's what my brain needs to heal.  My psychiatrist is amazing and is very supportive of a slow comfortable (as much as possible) taper.  His plan is when I get to 5mg of Valium to start to cross over the morning dose of 1 mg Xanax XR. 
I know it's not exactly Ashton's schedule, but it seems to be working for me so far.  He is also very understanding and says that if any step down or taper is having lasting effects longer then 2 weeks, we will just hold for 4 weeks. 
I am just wondering why I am feeling so good?  I hate Xanax so much and feel so much better just switching the evening dose to Valium.  Is this just the beginning to hell?  Have you all felt good in the beginning and then start to feel awful?
I hope this continues, it doesn't matter if I start to feel not so good....I am not giving up this time!

[[Buddie]]

It's all about waves and windows cooper. Enjoy the window you are in and build up some confidence. If there are bad days ahead, so be it. The fact that you know that your body is capable of good days will be your motivation to power through! Accentuate the positive. It sounds like you have a great and caring doctor which is another strong positive in your favor. Not everybody experiences hell and you may be one of the lucky ones. My experience was rough -- but it was for a while -- what I have now I wouldn't trade for anything. Good luck on your journey!

[[Buddie]]

Wow, that's amazing that you are free from the benzos!  You must be elated and I am so happy for you.  Looking back on the last 17 years, I really have felt like crap for most of it, sometimes feeling good (windows as you describe), but I think maybe I am so used to feeling like crap that maybe the lack of interdose withdrawals is making me feel better?  I just power through it and always thought it was my IBS.  I have been to so many specialists, had every test done and they can't find anything wrong with me physically.  At one point, It was so hard to eat (while my mom was in the hospital- I had severe anxiety) that I thought I might have to be on a feeding tube.  As I begin this journey again (I tried to taper once and failed- bad psychiatrist) I am starting to realize all of these years of pain, IBS symptoms, depression, etc. was the benzos.  So, I think it could be I am unfortunately so used to feeling sick, that switching over to the Valium is making me look back at my life and realize some truths.  I would always say- I am so sick of feeling sick and tired.  I have even though of giving up multiple times, but would never, ever, ever do that as I adore my family so much- they are my world and I can't wait to watch them accomplish amazing things!  I have just started to have emotions again- have had nothing for so long...just lived. 

What a journey this is!  I am so glad to have found this group of amazing, supportive people!  One day, I will be on here posting my success story and helping others!

You are all amazing- Have a wonderful day!!!

[[Buddie]]

I'm with [...], whatever this is, enjoy it while it lasts!    You have a wonderful attitude and I believe this is your time, you got this!

[[Buddie]]

Thank you for the support! I am not giving up this time!