3 years off - So much better!!

[[Buddie]]

Oh thank you, Kristin. I'm sure it must have been soul crushing not to be able to run.  I was a competitive tennis player. I also did some running (not like you though) and lots of yoga and other fitness practices.  When you said you prayed to be able to just take a walk, that's exactly where I am. I'd give anything to ride my bike too!  Earlier in the process I could walk quite a bit but now I'm lucky to walk around my cul de sac a few times.  I'm in a big ol' wave right now so knowing things improve, even if it takes a long time, is mana from heaven.  Thank you again!

( I could ask you a million questions but I won't...you need to live your life!)

Those waves are awful!  Especially when you've seen progress and they seem to knock you back down again.  Feel free to message me if you have more questions.  I am really in a space to share whatever of my experience might be helpful to others. 

[[Buddie]]

Congrats to you Kristin. Thank you for sharing. My best wishes to you as you move on from this chapter.

 

[[Buddie]]

Much needed today. Have a beautiful happy life You earned it!

[[Buddie]]

Thank you so much for this. I’ve been slowly and steadily healing for 21 months, but today I just felt overwhelmed with the fact that I still feel so dysregulated. This post really gives me hope and a way forward on my path to healing. Neurofeedback seems covered by insurance here in Germany, so it’s on my list to try. Right now I’m seeing a trauma therapist who I think it competent and I’ve got an appointment with an osteopath so see what kinds of integrative approaches might be best for me. I’ve healed so much and learned so much about myself, so I hope that I do get to that place of renewed strength where so many folks get to.

[[Buddie]]

What this did to my brain and body is maddening. But the hardest part for me during the taper and the acute stage was the emotional impact of feeling like there was no one fighting for me.  No one advocating for me.  That I was the one having to discern how to proceed. That I was the one, the one with the broken brain, having to make all the decisions about how to help me. I knew my “illness” made others uncomfortable because they didn’t know how to help.  I had to counsel others on how to respond to me being in pain.  This caused a lot of anger and deep sadness that I have since worked through, but it was my experience and my lesson.

Wow. This was so well worded and I can relate to it 100%. Thank you so much for validating and putting it into words! No one can ever phantom the strength this takes to get through.

But you know what, I did it.  And I am 1000 times mentally/emotionally stronger and more capable of living in this world now.  I can’t imagine NOT having had this experience.

This made me tear up   I can’t even visualize this let alone believe that this could one day be true to me as well. It has been such a long journey with setbacks and complete mental and physical disability that a state like this seems more of a dream in a faraway land than actual reality. Thank you for coming back and giving us hope. I am wishing you all the best in life, go and enjoy your rebirth!

[[Buddie]]

Thank you everyone for the kind words!  I appreciate them more than you know.

Thank you so much for this. I’ve been slowly and steadily healing for 21 months, but today I just felt overwhelmed with the fact that I still feel so dysregulated. This post really gives me hope and a way forward on my path to healing. Neurofeedback seems covered by insurance here in Germany, so it’s on my list to try. Right now I’m seeing a trauma therapist who I think it competent and I’ve got an appointment with an osteopath so see what kinds of integrative approaches might be best for me. I’ve healed so much and learned so much about myself, so I hope that I do get to that place of renewed strength where so many folks get to.

You are welcome and I think it's amazing that you are putting a team of people together who can help you.  I think that's when things started changing for me.  I can tell by the way you are approaching this that you will see your strength manifest through this experience.  Viel glueck!

What this did to my brain and body is maddening. But the hardest part for me during the taper and the acute stage was the emotional impact of feeling like there was no one fighting for me.  No one advocating for me.  That I was the one having to discern how to proceed. That I was the one, the one with the broken brain, having to make all the decisions about how to help me. I knew my “illness” made others uncomfortable because they didn’t know how to help.  I had to counsel others on how to respond to me being in pain.  This caused a lot of anger and deep sadness that I have since worked through, but it was my experience and my lesson.

Wow. This was so well worded and I can relate to it 100%. Thank you so much for validating and putting it into words! No one can ever phantom the strength this takes to get through.

But you know what, I did it.  And I am 1000 times mentally/emotionally stronger and more capable of living in this world now.  I can’t imagine NOT having had this experience.

This made me tear up   I can’t even visualize this let alone believe that this could one day be true to me as well. It has been such a long journey with setbacks and complete mental and physical disability that a state like this seems more of a dream in a faraway land than actual reality. Thank you for coming back and giving us hope. I am wishing you all the best in life, go and enjoy your rebirth!

Thank you so much for saying that.  And although it made me sad that you related to those words (such a horrific way to feel), I am glad that I was able to validate the emotional impact that this has on us and the strength we need to survive.  I truly hope you have found or can find some people to help.  Keep searching for those people who can support you.  I am wishing you healing!!!

[[Buddie]]

Thank you so much [...]. I had a rough day - your words have helped. Im so happy for you.

[[Buddie]]

Happy for you - thanks for coming back to write!

Fascinated by the neurofeedback. I was seeing a therapist when I first jumped to journey this with me and she suggested it as an option, but I put it to the side as I knew it was too soon for that. I'll def keep this in mind for the future.

[[Buddie]]

congrats, 3 years is my goal