Author Topic: Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?  (Read 399 times)

[Buddie]

Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?
« on: February 09, 2022, 04:25:49 am »
So, my father passed away about 5-6 years ago, several months after my mother passed. He had been diagnosed with Parkinsonís for a good 8+ years before he eventually passed. I used to be his caretaker and would always give him his medications in the morning, afternoon, and night. He was on quite a few different pills, including Clonazepam, Carbidopa, Lexapro, and other medications that I canít exactly remember.

I had forgotten entirely that my father was on Clonazepam and itís something I should have remembered, because a lot of weird things happened around that little, blue pill. Some of this may sound a little crazy. It sounds a little crazy even to me, so please forgive me for sounding like a raving mad lunatic.

My s/o reminded me the other dayÖ

ďDo you think if it wasnít for the Clonazepam, that your dad would have been okay?Ē

Something inside my brain just snapped. I had forgotten all about dosing out that pill to him. I suddenly remembered that I had to wear gloves when handling that specific pill because it made my fingertips tingle and feel sort of numb. I thought I was allergic to it, so I always wore gloves when putting it in his medicine calendar.

I also remembered that whenever he would take that pill, there was a backwash of black stuff that came out of his mouth, that looked like straight up black ink. I made a tentative joke that it seemed kind of demonic, or unnatural. I tried dissolving it in water and there was no reaction.

Then, I remembered my dadís doctor telling him ďI donít think you have ParkinsonísĒ, because my dad didnít have the constant tremors and shaking of his body or limbs like my grandma did. He usually only had the shaking of his muscles when he was trying to stretch. He did shuffle his feet and walk sort of bent over, but that was really the only thing to tie the Parkinsonís to him, aside from the brain fog, and dementia-like symptoms, including hallucinations.

After all this came back to me, I started piecing all of this together. Iím now wondering if he never actually had Parkinsonís at all, but rather, it was the Benzos that ultimately ended my fatherís life. My brain has gone 100 MPH and a huge part of me is now shouldering some guilt that Iím the one who fed him these medications every day and I didnít look into them. I just trusted that the doctors and pharmacists knew what they were doing and that there wasnít any harm in them.

I know it isnít my fault, but part of me thinks that I might be able to use this story to save other peoples lives if I could actually prove, or find out that it was the Benzos that hurt him more than helped him.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2022, 04:57:12 am »
Did you dad have any of those symptoms before he took all those drugs?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2022, 05:24:51 am »
Did you dad have any of those symptoms before he took all those drugs?

I honestly wish I remembered, but for some time before the Parkinsonís, he was handling his own medication so Iím not sure how long he was taking the Clonazepam before he was diagnosed.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2022, 12:21:43 am »
Did he have all the tests to confirm it was Parkinson's?
My uncle has it and they ran alot of tests on him.

Also, Richard Pryor had MS at the end of his life but did not blame it on the drugs he took.


Don't feel guilty, you did the best you could  :hug:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2022, 12:30:22 am »
Did he have all the tests to confirm it was Parkinson's?
My uncle has it and they ran alot of tests on him.

Also, Richard Pryor had MS at the end of his life but did not blame it on the drugs he took.


Don't feel guilty, you did the best you could  :hug:

I donít think they ran a bunch of tests on him, no. They assumed it was Parkinsonís because his mother had it. I donít honestly remember because my dad sort of hid a lot of that from me, at first. :(
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Was it the Benzos? Or did my father actually have Parkinsonís?
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2022, 07:48:47 pm »
Hi, unfortunately I do not have the answers to your questions however I do know that you are not to blame. You must not feel guilty for handing him his medication. You were caring for him  ❤️
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.