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Help me I am about to mess it up again


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I reinstated 4 days ago. I seemed to have a good window today for the first time, then at 4pm I got hit with debilitating anxiety and all the symptoms that comes with that and some OCD

 

Now thinking that it was a mistake to do so. Do I CT again? I know this will hurt me... I don't know what to do the anxiety scares me

 

Is there a chance for me to stabilize? or do I CT,.. will I suffer?

 

Background: 1 month use of Clobazam 5mg (equivalent Diazepam 2.5mg) then C/T. Reinstated 17 days out at the same dose. I am now on day 4.

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I was in the same boat, but knowing it would eventually go away was enough to keep me from reinstating no matter how bad it got. I think if you’re able to see it that way, it does help to motivate you and keep you going. Just me, personally. Knowing that I’d go through the anxiety, possibly even worse if I kept having to c/t over and over again, scared the heck out of my and made me push the Klonopin as far away as I could. I won’t ever put that poison in my body ever again.

 

Is tapering an option for you? That might help decrease the amount of symptoms you have.

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I was in the same boat, but knowing it would eventually go away was enough to keep me from reinstating no matter how bad it got. I think if you’re able to see it that way, it does help to motivate you and keep you going. Just me, personally. Knowing that I’d go through the anxiety, possibly even worse if I kept having to c/t over and over again, scared the heck out of my and made me push the Klonopin as far away as I could. I won’t ever put that poison in my body ever again.

 

Is tapering an option for you? That might help decrease the amount of symptoms you have.

 

I am scared to taper it off now, do I taper fast? do I go slow? Am I freaking out for no reason? I just need hope that I will stabilize cuz I am so tired of feeling anxious its a terrible feeling.. It's already been 4 days and I have crazy anxiety and now pains have started.. also the forum is full of people talking about kindling and paradoxical reactions and how they felt terrible after reinstating

 

I am so lost and this feels so horrible

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I was in the same boat, but knowing it would eventually go away was enough to keep me from reinstating no matter how bad it got. I think if you’re able to see it that way, it does help to motivate you and keep you going. Just me, personally. Knowing that I’d go through the anxiety, possibly even worse if I kept having to c/t over and over again, scared the heck out of my and made me push the Klonopin as far away as I could. I won’t ever put that poison in my body ever again.

 

Is tapering an option for you? That might help decrease the amount of symptoms you have.

 

I’m so sorry. :( I know what crippling anxiety feels like. I c/t’d from Klonopin and about 3 days later, I had the worst anxiety I’ve ever experienced, 24 hours a day. It doesn’t seem like you’ve been on it long enough to do any permanent damage and I imagine that a quick taper might be possible for you, but don’t quote me on that. I have seen that recommended to people that have been on Benzos short term. Hopefully someone else with more insight and knowledge than myself will comment in here.

 

I am scared to taper it off now, do I taper fast? do I go slow? Am I freaking out for no reason? I just need hope that I will stabilize cuz I am so tired of feeling anxious its a terrible feeling.. It's already been 4 days and I have crazy anxiety and now pains have started.. also the forum is full of people talking about kindling and paradoxical reactions and how they felt terrible after reinstating

 

I am so lost and this feels so horrible

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My suggestion would be to give this more time, too many times members will make decisions based on their symptoms in the moment but this is a mistake.  Our symptoms wax and wane, this is normal, so waiting to see if your symptoms settle on their own is a better idea.

 

I'm a little uncertain about your timeline for reinstatement, what day exactly did you begin taking the Clobazam again?

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from what i understand,  it may take some time to adjust to your reinstatment but you will get stable sooner or later, doesnt mean it will end with all your symptoms because while taking this drug with time your gaba receptors downregulate more and glutamate spike, but things will adjust  if you wait for some time, a week or so maybe

 

imho, if i was you, after getting stable i would fast taper the eay its possible for you. dropping 25 % weach week maybe ? your just a month taking this drug so your a short term user, but that is something only you can decide,

 

knowing what im aware of now and being equivalent of 2 mg i would or do that in a month or go cold but thats me,

 

doing this may impact your daily life doesnt mean your not going to heal, yes it may be very difficult to endure but you will heal,

 

it may take a month or so months to see some improovment,  again imo if your already noticing  the bad outcome of using this stopping sooner then later is the best thing to do

 

  maybe neuroprotective nootropics may be of help, lemom balm extract (Ndepot) or others , emoxypine, alpha lipoic acid(ala, narla) etc,  go slow using those because everyone reaction is diffrent, you will get better using nootropics/herbs or not,

 

you can do it, even if you may need to give a braeak into your daily life activities and relationships, you will get better given time, its a process that takes some time to see improvement, given that your a short term user so it may be faster for you comparing to other folks, imo you shouldnt delay to stop this drug,

 

dont let anyone make you belive its not because of this drug, ocd, fear, high anxiety are all symptoms jnduced by the dysregulation caused by this drug, it will resolve with time, good luck

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My suggestion would be to give this more time, too many times members will make decisions based on their symptoms in the moment but this is a mistake.  Our symptoms wax and wane, this is normal, so waiting to see if your symptoms settle on their own is a better idea.

 

I'm a little uncertain about your timeline for reinstatement, what day exactly did you begin taking the Clobazam again?

 

Hey Pamster, that was 4 days ago, i am on day 5 now

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Thanks Selena95, how are you feeling today?

 

I dosed down. Had the panicky feeling all morning, it's not there yet as of now. I am thinking whether a rapid taper is a good option at this point, as clearly my system is screaming no to me. Or maybe a drop to the lowest tolerated dose. What do you think?

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What did you dose down, the Clobazam, and what dose did you arrive at?  I'm not sure dosing down was a good idea since you had such a bad day yesterday but this is your taper your way.  :)

 

I wanted to let you know that most members have terrible anxiety in the morning, some say its because our cortisol levels are higher then so you're not alone in feeling that.

 

I hope whatever you decide you'll be mindful of the balance your brain is trying to achieve, remember it needs consistency so doing things methodically and carefully is the best way to go.

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