Defensive when people try to tell you it isn’t w/d’s?

(Not sure if I’m putting this in the right place, but I couldn’t figure out where to put it, so forgive me if this isn’t supposed to be here!)

 

Does anyone else get incredibly defensive when people try to tell you it isn’t w/d’s anymore because it’s “out of your system”? My therapist suggested that two months wasn’t enough time for dependency. Admittedly, I have taken Klonopin for over two years, with VERY infrequent use in the beginning. When I started taking it all the time, it was about two months of pretty consistent usage, but still not every day. Even my friends have tried to tell me, “it’s probably not w/d’s though because it’s out of your system”. I get angry or annoyed every time. The only people who really understand is you guys, and luckily my partner is super understanding and has done his research, so he can support me better.

its still WD aria. 2 year usage isnt a walk in the park. i used them for 2-3 months. CT-ed out a month and still in Acute WD.

You got this, Platoon. I know it’s a rough road ahead for both of us. We can do this. It’s going to be a tough ride, but I do believe it’s one that can help us heal in the future. If we can beat this, we can beat almost anything.

I could practically see people roll their eyes at me when I was recovering, it was humiliating, I had one person tell me it was true if I believed it!    Isn't that the typical response you'd tell a crazy person?

I could practically see people roll their eyes at me when I was recovering, it was humiliating, I had one person tell me it was true if I believed it!    Isn't that the typical response you'd tell a crazy person?

 

That’s awful, Pamster. It has been incredibly aggravating how little people know about these drugs and what they can do. My s/o has been so supportive, but I’ve heard horror stories from people whose spouses/partners/families were a lot less so. I keep telling him, I’m afraid he will leave me if I’m not healing fast enough, and he’s assured me he will be right here by my side until I’m through the woods.

i have now a massive erection with very severe excitement,butterflies in my stomach without a reason. these symptoms are hellish. and the emptiness. i can aggree with the Human Machine feeling. but without deppression,panic,insomnia.i would love to live like this,without fear,insomnia,panic,intense fear,since i am a soldier,i can handle everything after this mental breakdown,i became immortal,its just a mind game,everything you feel is unrealistic,even the severe pain,deppression too. you must overthink your CNS. give yourself time,and find really distraction. days come and go,you will heal.

i have now a massive erection with very severe excitement,butterflies in my stomach without a reason. these symptoms are hellish. and the emptiness. i can aggree with the Human Machine feeling. but without deppression,panic,insomnia.i would love to live like this,without fear,insomnia,panic,intense fear,since i am a soldier,i can handle everything after this mental breakdown,i became immortal,its just a mind game,everything you feel is unrealistic,even the severe pain,deppression too. you must overthink your CNS. give yourself time,and find really distraction. days come and go,you will heal.

 

Pray tell, but what does that have to do with this thread? Also, telling someone to simply overcome their CNS is simply not possible. If we could do that then we wouldn’t be here with awful symptoms. It’s not a mind game. It’s also very condescending to tell someone everything they feel is unrealistic. I don’t think that’s very helpful to the original poster, or anyone going through this. 

you find it better to focus on suffering? its a mind game. everything is a mind game in the life. a little bit of genetics, listen. i did CT from 3 benzos,medazepam,alprazolam,klonopin. and im still here. dont let the fear overcome you,pamster was right about that. but yes,these attitudes are vary to person to person.

i have now a massive erection with very severe excitement,butterflies in my stomach without a reason. these symptoms are hellish. and the emptiness. i can aggree with the Human Machine feeling. but without deppression,panic,insomnia.i would love to live like this,without fear,insomnia,panic,intense fear,since i am a soldier,i can handle everything after this mental breakdown,i became immortal,its just a mind game,everything you feel is unrealistic,even the severe pain,deppression too. you must overthink your CNS. give yourself time,and find really distraction. days come and go,you will heal.

 

 

More than I wanted to know ..... 

you find it better to focus on suffering? its a mind game. everything is a mind game in the life. a little bit of genetics, listen. i did CT from 3 benzos,medazepam,alprazolam,klonopin. and im still here. dont let the fear overcome you,pamster was right about that. but yes,these attitudes are vary to person to person.

 

Unfortunately “just don’t think about it” is a blind shot in the dark. I’ve had anxiety my entire life. Mind over matter doesn’t work for me, right now in this juncture of my life. I am going through CBT to try to teach myself to work through the panic attacks, but even so, withdrawals cause chemical anxiety , which isn’t something you can just will away. I have coping strategies to help me through panic attacks and none of that helped. I have tried all my life to not focus on the bad things, or the intrusive thoughts, or whatever else, but up until I started using Prozac, I literally had no control over my brain.

Outside this forum, I don't talk about benzos much to others IRL. Unfortunately, you have to personally experience this horrible addiction/tolerance/withdrawal  before you can understand and show empathy to others suffering.

 

Sadly, Even ppl like your partner (unless he has personally gone through the benzo w/d process himself) who supports you now will after a while start to have doubts if you say something like I have been benzo free for 2 years for example and still feel horrible and can't do certain things.

 

I have lost several relationships in my life bc of these drugs.

Outside this forum, I don't talk about benzos much to others IRL. Unfortunately, you have to personally experience this horrible addiction/tolerance/withdrawal  before you can understand and show empathy to others suffering.

 

Sadly, Even ppl like your partner (unless he has personally gone through the benzo w/d process himself) who supports you now will after a while start to have doubts if you say something like I have been benzo free for 2 years for example and still feel horrible and can't do certain things.

 

I have lost several relationships in my life bc of these drugs.

 

I’m lucky that he sits and reads things with me. Stories from these forums, the Ashton Manual, and he frequently watches videos on Jordan Peterson with and without me. He hasn’t experienced this, but even when I told him today, “I’m discouraged because of reading stories of people going through this for ten months and even into many years”, he still says, “it might take you that long to heal, but you’ll get through it. We’ll get through it together.” He’s been here through the worst of times with me, so I’m doubtful that he’ll leave.

That is good. You have probably found true love. What I had probably was not true love. Some married couples do not take the marriage vows "in sickness and in health" sincerely.  If one partner becomes really sick, the other partner eventually bolts from the relationship or cheats on the side. I have seen it personally.

That is good. You have probably found true love. What I had probably was not true love. Some married couples do not take the marriage vows "in sickness and in health" sincerely.  If one partner becomes really sick, the other partner eventually bolts from the relationship or cheats on the side. I have seen it personally.

 

One of the people that I considered a second mother had the same thing happen to her. Her husband treated her terribly and after she found out she had cancer, it got worse. He even was looking for a “replacement” wife during her chemotherapy. She said she would hear him talking to someone late at night and only a month after she died, he introduced us to his new girlfriend. It’s pretty easy to love someone when things are great, but it’s a lot more difficult when they get sick, for some people I guess.

Wow, that is so sad.

I used to get extremely upset when people didn’t believe me. Now when people ask what happened I say I had bad side effects from medication and they somehow believe that more than using the term WD.

 

I once had a doctor tell me, it can’t be that it’s been two weeks it’s out of your system. Several appointments and months later I went back to this doctor and I referred back to their comment and I said “ isn’t WD when the drug is out of your system and not when it’s in?” They apologized for their remark.

 

I’ve also told other people including doctors that if they haven’t experienced it, that it’s simply an opinion and I always tell them “ thanks for your opinion”.

 

You know your own truth. Others can’t imagine it, and I hope they never have to. I was lucky that my husband was supportive and understood. When I realized I didn’t need to explain myself to others I was less mad about the situation and honestly it was less stressful. 

I’m at a point in my life where if they don’t believe me, I don’t care. It’s not for them to understand but for me and my husband to work through it together.

PlatoonLeader. Since you are a soldier, a "mind game" is part of your education, and this will help you build mental strength? But unfortunately, a recovery doesn’t work this way. Benzo changes our brain and nervous system in a negative way, and cause damage. And it takes time to heal; months, and sometimes years. And the recovery is very painful. I wish we all could heal the brain by using the power of our mind, but it’s not that easy.

 

But if you can find your inner strength by thinking about a "mind game" of course it’s great! We all have different ways in hard times. And I'm sorry you are suffering so much, and I hope you feel better soon. 

 

Betterfuture, you are so right; "You know your own truth. Others can’t imagine it, and I hope they never have to".

 

And sometimes, family members and friends find it very difficult to understand our very hard situation. So I’m so grateful for BB, we understand each other 100%. One word can be enough. 

 

And I found this "What is happening in your brain by Parker."

 

"If you are a family member, please realize that those of us in recovery are no more in control of how we feel or what we experience than people who have undergone brain trauma in a car accident. Please be patient with us, because our brains are healing and we are in the process of reconstruction - and our function is temporarily enabled, then disabled, then enabled, then disabled again. And that is totally normal and expected. We can no more help that than a person can "want" to wake up out of a coma. It happens when the brain is able - and not out of sheer will. But it does happen.

 

So please stand by us and say loving things and reassure us every day. Notice our improvements and tell us what they are.  Encourage us when we feel good.  And when we don't, just hold us and hug us and tell us it will be okay. Anything you would say or do for a family member that had had a car accident and a brain injury - please do that for us. And be patient... we are getting there".

 

My family has read the article, and now they try to understand my situation.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=191083.0

PlatoonLeader. Since you are a soldier, a "mind game" is part of your education, and this will help you build mental strength? But unfortunately, a recovery doesn’t work this way. Benzo changes our brain and nervous system in a negative way, and cause damage. And it takes time to heal; months, and sometimes years. And the recovery is very painful. I wish we all could heal the brain by using the power of our mind, but it’s not that easy.

I'm sorry you are suffering so much, and I hope you feel better soon. 

 

Betterfuture, you are so right; "You know your own truth. Others can’t imagine it, and I hope they never have to".

 

And sometimes, family members and friends find it very difficult to understand our very hard situation. So I’m so grateful for BB, we understand each other 100%. One word can be enough. 

 

And I found this "What is happening in your brain by Parker."

 

"If you are a family member, please realize that those of us in recovery are no more in control of how we feel or what we experience than people who have undergone brain trauma in a car accident. Please be patient with us, because our brains are healing and we are in the process of reconstruction - and our function is temporarily enabled, then disabled, then enabled, then disabled again. And that is totally normal and expected. We can no more help that than a person can "want" to wake up out of a coma. It happens when the brain is able - and not out of sheer will. But it does happen.

 

So please stand by us and say loving things and reassure us every day. Notice our improvements and tell us what they are.  Encourage us when we feel good.  And when we don't, just hold us and hug us and tell us it will be okay. Anything you would say or do for a family member that had had a car accident and a brain injury - please do that for us. And be patient... we are getting there".

 

My family has read the article, and now they try to understand my situation.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=191083.0

 

Thank you for posting this! I will definitely have to reference this in the future to my loved ones. Hopefully it will make things easier for them to understand.

I could practically see people roll their eyes at me when I was recovering, it was humiliating, I had one person tell me it was true if I believed it!    Isn't that the typical response you'd tell a crazy person?

 

Not a single doctor believed me that I was still having W/D 2 months after stopping Zopiclone. The Z-Drugs are even worse because at least doctors have somewhat of an awareness that Benzos have really bad side effects. But every single doctor I've talked to (and pharmacists) think Z-Drugs have no side effects.

 

The two decades of getting the medical establishment to realize the damage Benzos can cause, has had almost zero effect on the new fight we will soon have: people withdrawing from Z-Drugs, and not being believed.

I could practically see people roll their eyes at me when I was recovering, it was humiliating, I had one person tell me it was true if I believed it!    Isn't that the typical response you'd tell a crazy person?

 

Not a single doctor believed me that I was still having W/D 2 months after stopping Zopiclone. The Z-Drugs are even worse because at least doctors have somewhat of an awareness that Benzos have really bad side effects. But every single doctor I've talked to (and pharmacists) think Z-Drugs have no side effects.

 

The two decades of getting the medical establishment to realize the damage Benzos can cause, has had almost zero effect on the new fight we will soon have: people withdrawing from Z-Drugs, and not being believed.

 

Unfortunately, even with Benzos, there’s still not many educated doctors, therapists, psychiatrists or psychologists that I’ve come across. I can’t imagine how little is known about Z-drugs and I’m so sorry you have to go through that. I know how lonely I feel when most people around me think I should have recovered by now.

That is good. You have probably found true love. What I had probably was not true love. Some married couples do not take the marriage vows "in sickness and in health" sincerely.  If one partner becomes really sick, the other partner eventually bolts from the relationship or cheats on the side. I have seen it personally.

 

One of the people that I considered a second mother had the same thing happen to her. Her husband treated her terribly and after she found out she had cancer, it got worse. He even was looking for a “replacement” wife during her chemotherapy. She said she would hear him talking to someone late at night and only a month after she died, he introduced us to his new girlfriend. It’s pretty easy to love someone when things are great, but it’s a lot more difficult when they get sick, for some people I guess.

 

Wow, too bad I can't kick that #@^% in the nuts with a steel toe boot. What a $@!#head.

 

I've never found true love either. Just women who want me to pay for everything like an ATM machine.

My closest woman friend is a nurse.  When I shared my story with her, she brought up how she knows of people who have not had any issues, that withdrawal and recovery should last at the most two weeks, that my tinnitus is due to ear wax, that my headaches are from stress, and that she wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night.  She became frustrated that I don’t drink wine anymore and am overreacting.  I sent her articles but I know that she does not believe me.  She stopped shortly afterwards asking me how I am doing and this was at month two of my now 8th month recovery.  I am disappointed in that she did not try to understand and I know our friendship will never be the same.  I know I need to forgive people who don’t understand - perhaps I will have a more forgiving heart when I am 100% healed.

My closest woman friend is a nurse.  When I shared my story with her, she brought up how she knows of people who have not had any issues, that withdrawal and recovery should last at the most two weeks, that my tinnitus is due to ear wax, that my headaches are from stress, and that she wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night.  She became frustrated that I don’t drink wine anymore and am overreacting.  I sent her articles but I know that she does not believe me.  She stopped shortly afterwards asking me how I am doing and this was at month two of my now 8th month recovery.  I am disappointed in that she did not try to understand and I know our friendship will never be the same.  I know I need to forgive people who don’t understand - perhaps I will have a more forgiving heart when I am 100% healed.

 

I am so sorry. The only person who understands what I’m going through is my s/o and he keeps reminding me that people just don’t want to believe it. To stop caring what other people think, but it just feels so lonely and sometimes it feels like ALL I want to talk about is my recovery and healing process. I spend a lot of time on these forums, researching, watching videos all on Benzos. I’ve become obsessed with them.

I get super defensive when people say it isn't withdrawals. Luckily most of my friends and family believe what I am going through, but they still don't fully get it. I sent a definition of "chemical anxiety" to someone today because they kept insinuating that my highly anxious state is from regular life worries. I do have regular life worries, for sure. But that is not the same as chemical anxiety, when there's no reason but you just feel pure fear and terror.

 

This is just such a weird thing for us all to be going through ...