Life is Great… and it will be for you too.

Hello All,

 

It has been several years since I posted on here. I respond to every message I get and will continue to do so, I made a promise to God and to myself that if I ever got to the other side of the hell I went through I will forever be in Debt to anyone else who has to walk through that.

 

It’s been several years since I’ve taken my last benzo…2017… and several years since I had ANY side effects ….2018-19 ish.

 

My story is on my previous post but I was watching a documentary tonight about benzo withdrawals and man did it bring me back. I wanted to reach through the TV screen and just hug those poor people. I suffered from both Xanax withdrawals, which really sucked, and the worst of the worst klonopin withdrawals for nearly 15 months. I did it cold turkey, which I do not recommend. It took me 10 months to finally be able to breathe and know I was going to be okay. I think it’s very very important for you to hear this : I AM 100% BACK TO MYSELF AND YOU WILL GET 100% BACK TO YOURSELF TOO. DO NOT GIVE UP. BENZO WITHDRAWALS WAS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER BEEN THROUGH AND MAKES EVERY OTHER CHALLENGE IN LIFE A CAKE WALK IN COMPARISON. YOU ARE STRONG AND YOU WILL GET TO THE OTHER SIDE, I PROMISE.

 

Looking back if I have any advice for anyone it’s as follows:

1) Do not relapse and go back on medication, it delays the suffering.

2) WORK OUT. Go to the gym 3 times a day if you have to.

3) Eat healthy. Cut out dairy, gluten and sugar the best you can.

4) Find a therapist who knows what benzo withdraws are like. The easiest way to do this is to ask the therapist on the phone after you tell them what you are going through how long she/he thinks you will be suffering. If they say anything less than 3 months hang up. Therapy Really really helped me accept where I was at and cut myself a break.

5) If you are a prayerful or Godly person : Pray and ask others to pray for you. God did not do this to you, as much as it feels like, the medical system did.

6) The last and most important thing, you could forget all the others but not this one : Cut yourself a break. Do not put expectations on yourself like “I’m at 5 months I should feel this way”. Accept your brain is where it’s at. I know it’s very hard to do that, it’s so dang hard. The day I finally accepted okay this is where I’m at, this is not permanent and stopped fighting the withdraws and waves is the day my symptoms started fading. I can’t stress how important it is to try to just accept where you are and to continue showing up and doing things such as working out, eating healthy, therapy etc without any expectations.

 

 

I NEVER thought I would ever get back to myself. I thought I fucked my brain up and was going to be stuck a awkward, frantic weird version of myself. I was such a mess for months and months and I just thought for whatever reason there was no way it would pass for me. It did and if you keep going it will for you too. I know around 7-10 people in my life who have all been where you are at and where I was at who made it to the other side and thought those exact thoughts.

 

As the psalmist before said “be still and know that I am God”. You guys are in my thoughts, prayers and my messages are always open, if you are having any difficulty with family and need someone to help explain it to them I would gladly help as well. If you are a woman I just ask you please have your significant other  read this first so they know it’s a public post and nothing strange or inappropriate has developed, sorry past experience didn’t go over so well for one insecure husband.

 

Zach

 

 

 

Oh ya one more thing I completely forgot to mention. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR RECOVERY TO OTHER PEOPLE.

 

Some lucky assholes come on here and post success stories after only being off benzos for like 2 months. At two months I couldn’t even walk or read a sentence yet. I was using a walker because my equilibrium was so off. So don’t come on here and say why am I not there I used the same or less for less time and they are already healed and I’m not wtf. Some people are lucky, I was not one of them, and they aren’t assholes I’m just joking they are just trying to help, but still kinda assholes if ya know what I mean.

Thank you, Hockey, for taking the time to share your success with us. Your post is much needed for us who are still healing. Your words are honest, wise and true. May you continue to live a nice healthy life. 

You mentioned that your equilibrium was messed up. That’s my biggest symptom - unbalanced, boaty and head symptoms. I’m just curious how long did yours last? I’m not asking so I could compare myself to you because I know my healing pace is not the same as yours or anyone else’s. I’m asking to get a general idea of those who had the disequilibrium pretty bad to see the longevity. I’m 19 months off and still pushing through this symptom. It’s been my worst. It has improved for 2 months then went backwards and now improving again. I’m sure you know how debilitating it is so I’m grateful to God for the improvement that I can walk to the bathroom without my walker and even now can sit up for nearly an hour. It’s beautiful to my ears to hear of another BB that had this and is now completely healed. Big hugs to you. I can’t speak for everyone but I’m so happy that you took the time to come back as a witness to recovery. As you know, many don’t.

Thank you so much for coming back to spread hope, and congratulations on your full recovery. I’m at day 48 here, and pretty scared that I’m screwed. These stories are literally what I’m clinging to rn. I hope 2022 is amazing for you.

Congratulations Zach...

 

Your healing and recovery and advice are similar to my experience...

 

Keep enjoying life and helping others! 

Thank you, Hockey, for taking the time to share your success with us. Your post is much needed for us who are still healing. Your words are honest, wise and true. May you continue to live a nice healthy life. 

You mentioned that your equilibrium was messed up. That’s my biggest symptom - unbalanced, boaty and head symptoms. I’m just curious how long did yours last? I’m not asking so I could compare myself to you because I know my healing pace is not the same as yours or anyone else’s. I’m asking to get a general idea of those who had the disequilibrium pretty bad to see the longevity. I’m 19 months off and still pushing through this symptom. It’s been my worst. It has improved for 2 months then went backwards and now improving again. I’m sure you know how debilitating it is so I’m grateful to God for the improvement that I can walk to the bathroom without my walker and even now can sit up for nearly an hour. It’s beautiful to my ears to hear of another BB that had this and is now completely healed. Big hugs to you. I can’t speak for everyone but I’m so happy that you took the time to come back as a witness to recovery. As you know, many don’t.

 

 

Has it been 19 months since you have been completely off or since you started tapering? The brain fog and honestly just feeling stupid was what lasted the longest for me. It would come and then go and then come back and then go. Each time the windows of feeling better would get longer and windows of feeling shitty would get shorter. I just had to tell myself every time another wave came back, okay it passed last time so it will pass again and it always did. I would say at around 2 years is when it was basically gone. Something that helped me with that was coconut and ct oi. Also fish oil, DHA is great for the brain.

 

This is the best kind you can use, and if you hate fish like me this flavor leaves no after taste

Nordic Naturals DHA, Strawberry - 180 Soft Gels - 830 mg Omega-3 - High-Intensity DHA Formula for Brain & Nervous System Support - Non-GMO - 90 Servings https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002CQU55A/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_86QPGWQ99H7AHVBTN663

 

Very Generous of spirit to come here and encourage others. Thank you. It's just beginning for me. I started a taper last week. I really hope Im lucky and it won't be the worst of the worst but I take your words to heart - the accept whatever stage im in and try to accept it and trust it will past. Needing a walker - okay that scares me.

 

You dont have a signature but I guess I can go back to your old posts and find it but if you read this can you refresh what you were taking; did you CT or taper?

 

Thanks again for this hopeful post.

Nevermind, Hockey I just read it. thank you.

This was an inspiration to read. After feeling like I was losing my marbles today, your story brought me back down a peg and reminded me that it's not a lost cause, so thank you.

 

It's hard for me to comprehend what a great life even is at this point because the concept has become so alien to me, but I'll get there just like you did. Wherever "there" ends up being haha

Hockey 17,

 

THANK YOU for coming back to spread the good news about your recovery with us! It means a lot and it's very encouraging. Like my friend Lady Den, I'm most interested in your struggles with walking and equilibrium.  Mine are improving and maybe not as intense as yours or Lady Den's but when it's bad, it's bad! I'm having a good week with my walking this week so hoping that symptom will be moving along soon. I LOVE hearing that you got past it.  Thank you again and I'm glad you are enjoying your life!

 

Helen

Congrats on your recovery.

 

3) Eat healthy. Cut out dairy, gluten and sugar the best you can.

 

This is the most important thing ppl can do for their health, nevermind benzos. It is important to definitely eliminate dairy and sugar and refined carbs but also cut out as much meat as you possibly can. I eat very minimal animal products. I changed my diet to whole food plant based in 2013 and in less than a month, all my health biomarkers changed from bad and borderline to good. Imagine getting off benzos, fully recovering,  only to get hit with cancer, heart disease, or diabetes. Benzos will not kill you altho it might feel like a NDE while withdrawing, but the other things I mentioned can and will kill you and cause immense suffering and come with an enormous financial toll. I implore everyone to consider changing their diets if they eat SAD. Exercise is always a good thing to do. I have been doing it for over 30 years, but exercise is actually dangerous if you are eating an unhealthy diet. Once you get off benzos and recover, you can then enjoy vibrant good health, benzo and other Rx drugs free. What good is getting off benzos but you are still on a ton of other meds, sick and miserable, from other health conditions. I read Jennifer Leigh's blog and she is now strongly advocating ppl do this while they are withdrawing from benzos to fortify their bodies and keep doing this after withdrawal, during recovery, and after recovery for the remainder of their lives.

 

^{edit: grammar correction 1/29/22  3:31PM US EST}

Such a helpful success story! Thank you for coming back to share it. These success stories were my air supply the first few months.

 

Always glad to se the ppl who remember to come back on here and share their story to give hope! Thank you so much:)

Great post! Thanks so very much for sharing - it is soooo inspirational to read this when we feel like it will never end.

 

Just wondering which documentary there is out there on benzo withdrawals?  I would love to have my family watch it....

https://www.pbs.org/video/medicating-normal-kinbho/

Thank you Zach!!!

Hello All,

 

It has been several years since I posted on here. I respond to every message I get and will continue to do so, I made a promise to God and to myself that if I ever got to the other side of the hell I went through I will forever be in Debt to anyone else who has to walk through that.

 

It’s been several years since I’ve taken my last benzo…2017… and several years since I had ANY side effects ….2018-19 ish.

 

My story is on my previous post but I was watching a documentary tonight about benzo withdrawals and man did it bring me back. I wanted to reach through the TV screen and just hug those poor people. I suffered from both Xanax withdrawals, which really sucked, and the worst of the worst klonopin withdrawals for nearly 15 months. I did it cold turkey, which I do not recommend. It took me 10 months to finally be able to breathe and know I was going to be okay. I think it’s very very important for you to hear this : I AM 100% BACK TO MYSELF AND YOU WILL GET 100% BACK TO YOURSELF TOO. DO NOT GIVE UP. BENZO WITHDRAWALS WAS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER BEEN THROUGH AND MAKES EVERY OTHER CHALLENGE IN LIFE A CAKE WALK IN COMPARISON. YOU ARE STRONG AND YOU WILL GET TO THE OTHER SIDE, I PROMISE.

 

Looking back if I have any advice for anyone it’s as follows:

1) Do not relapse and go back on medication, it delays the suffering.

2) WORK OUT. Go to the gym 3 times a day if you have to.

3) Eat healthy. Cut out dairy, gluten and sugar the best you can.

4) Find a therapist who knows what benzo withdraws are like. The easiest way to do this is to ask the therapist on the phone after you tell them what you are going through how long she/he thinks you will be suffering. If they say anything less than 3 months hang up. Therapy Really really helped me accept where I was at and cut myself a break.

5) If you are a prayerful or Godly person : Pray and ask others to pray for you. God did not do this to you, as much as it feels like, the medical system did.

6) The last and most important thing, you could forget all the others but not this one : Cut yourself a break. Do not put expectations on yourself like “I’m at 5 months I should feel this way”. Accept your brain is where it’s at. I know it’s very hard to do that, it’s so dang hard. The day I finally accepted okay this is where I’m at, this is not permanent and stopped fighting the withdraws and waves is the day my symptoms started fading. I can’t stress how important it is to try to just accept where you are and to continue showing up and doing things such as working out, eating healthy, therapy etc without any expectations.

 

 

I NEVER thought I would ever get back to myself. I thought I fucked my brain up and was going to be stuck a awkward, frantic weird version of myself. I was such a mess for months and months and I just thought for whatever reason there was no way it would pass for me. It did and if you keep going it will for you too. I know around 7-10 people in my life who have all been where you are at and where I was at who made it to the other side and thought those exact thoughts.

 

As the psalmist before said “be still and know that I am God”. You guys are in my thoughts, prayers and my messages are always open, if you are having any difficulty with family and need someone to help explain it to them I would gladly help as well. If you are a woman I just ask you please have your significant other  read this first so they know it’s a public post and nothing strange or inappropriate has developed, sorry past experience didn’t go over so well for one insecure husband.

 

Zach

 

 

Appreciate this. I will be two weeks off of klonopin tomorrow and I literally feel like I want to die. For me my symptoms are intense pressure in my head, a buzzing/ringing sensation throughout my head, and burning/tingling throughout my body with my nervous system in hyperdrive.  Trying to fight thoughts to reinstate.

 

seeking