Is it anxiety or am I just doomed?

I don’t know what it is, but it’s not even really physical anymore so much. My first panic attacks happened while I was sitting at my computer one night, and now it feels impossible to sit there without feeling on edge. I keep losing hope, and it gets more and more difficult sometimes to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I lay in bed all day, because whenever I stand up, it feels like there’s a bubbling/popping feeling in my stomach or sternum area while bending, moving, or inhaling sharply. I don’t know what it is. Sometimes it’s not there at all, but it freaks me out. I don’t go to the hospital/doctor because agoraphobia has kept me housebound, and the fear of COVID is also a huge motivator. A big part of me thinks I’m just going to die like this, and that scares me. Then there’s another, tiny voice that’s like…that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

I have tried over the past two years to go outside and get in the car with my husband, but as soon as I step foot past our stairs, it’s like someone is squeezing the air out of my lungs. With all the w/d and the air hunger, the fear of not being able to breathe has become even worse. The Prozac I’m taking has helped my intrusive thoughts a lot. For the first time in 15+ years, I’m experiencing what it feels like to have a quiet brain. No more racing thoughts. Just…silence. But the anxiety is still there. The depression is still there. And it feels like I just can’t win anymore.