3 years off zopiclone, maybe this as good as it gets?

3 years off zopiclone, 19 months off AD's. Just feel this chemical anxiety is never going to end. Stupidly tried a supplement that has revved up symptoms. Never had a proper window, the first 9 months or so it was tolerable, but the last couple years been really grim. I had lot SI thoughts at about 18 months mark. Just feel trapped, the GP won't help, only thing will give me is beta blockers, read they only help if you get racing heart & physical symptoms that I don't. Tried so many therapies, exposure therapy, mindfulness, meditation, hobbies, distraction, exercise, so why does nothing shift the mental crap. Tried brain retraining course didn't help at all. Keep trying tell myself thoughts aren't real  but makes no difference. Just need bit of hope won't be stuck in this underworld forever. Recently baseline did seem shift bit, but only lasted couple days, back to morning terrors and gloomy thoughts now. What the hell else can I do to try regain some sort life back?

Leann,

 

Have you ever given TMS any consideration? It is FDA approved (in the US)  for  depression but they have had success using off-label for anxiety. I started it but did not complete several years ago. I stopped about halfway through the treatments.  I did this (quit) bc I was still on benzos, but you have been off the Zopiclone over 3 years. It is probably a crap shoot but could possibly help you. I know you are sick of constantly feeling bad with virtually no windows. I can feel the pain and hurt in some of your posts and can empathize.

 

https://neurostar.com/

 

No I never heard of this. I'm in UK, just looked it up, can only get it privately here, very expensive, and nearest cente is over hour and half drive from where I live, and find travel difficult with the anxiety. Just be a bit nervous with anything to do with the brain. It's not really depression, more frustration that the thoughts don't seem to improve. I am only about 19 months off AD's, have read withdrawal from them can last just as long, so maybe exoecting too much too soon, who knows?

I fully understand. You said that you meditate and that does not seem to help you. It helps me a lot. Are you still doing it or did you stop bc you thought it was not helping? I have found personally that you have to do it consistently. Many ppl try it, don't get immediate results, and they give up too quickly IME.

 

You said you also exercise, and that does not seem to help either. What were you doing for exercise, or what are you still doing if you still exercise?

Only been meditating short time, trying one someone mentioned, called vetic  I think, I will continue with it as is a good wind down at end day. I go for a walk every day, go on treadmill, and do a pilates class once a week. It helps with sleep and even though doesn't help the thoughts think it's important to exercise. Almost a fear of feeling the fear stops me doing things. Sounds crazy, but I don't do things because I think I'll get intrusive thoughts. Think sadly just seems to take helluva long time for mental symptoms to subside

When you were put on the zopiclone, was sleep the only issue you were having Leann? How is your sleep now?

Yes only sleep. Never had anxiety before in my life. Sleep isn't too bad most time , normally get about 4or 5 hours a night. Take unisom if have bad night. I only used take zop occasionally for years when I was working. At most only ever had 3 or 4 packets a night max. Think was being made CT caused problems

I don't know your complete history, but in a nutshell, why were you made to come off CT? Why were you not given a chance to taper?

My GP retired. As I feared they would stop my zopiclone, did try to come off fir couple weeks, but really struggled. After my husband's heart attack had started taking every night but tiny amount. Saw new GP armed with the official guidelines advising either swap to diazapam or wean off very slowly. She ignored this, refused to give me any more zop or any diazapam, said was placebo effect as was on very low dose and would be fine. 3 years later still struggling. Even complained to the official parliamentary ombudsman for the NHS got nowhere. They don't give a s**t over here what happens to you. You have to see the GP in area you live here, so couldn't swap. She should be struck off!!!

 

I fully understand. You said that you meditate and that does not seem to help you. It helps me a lot. Are you still doing it or did you stop bc you thought it was not helping? I have found personally that you have to do it consistently. Many ppl try it, don't get immediate results, and they give up too quickly IME.

 

You said you also exercise, and that does not seem to help either. What were you doing for exercise, or what are you still doing if you still exercise?

 

Can someone meditate while bed bound? Just curious

Yeah, you can Zach. I have done it. I find however several short (4) 10 min sessions (spread evenly  throughout the day) sitting in a chair in a dark quiet room has produced the best results for me friend. You have to be consistent even when you think it is not helping. Here is what I do. It is a very simple easy technique that anyone can do. You do not have to become a meditation guru and get the same benefit with this simple relaxation technique.

 

How long was it before meditation helped you. Are you still weaning off meds? The chemical anxiety much worse than insomnia to cope with, think it's hardest thing to deal with. It's not like normal anxiety, you feel you've completely lost your mind. I managed to work with the insomnia, and sort of functioned for years ,unlike now. Just wish sleeping now, helped anxiety, but it doesn't.