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Soldiers who went CT


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there is anyone from the Army who did cold turkey? Marines,Rangers,Reservists,National Guard,Navy personnels. need to hear your experiences
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no,im in the reservist atm. but in March we'll do some hard drills. but guess im feeling better and better day to day. the most problematic thing is the DPDR for me. it causes a lot of anxiety. and i dont want to talk about it openly because i know everything is temporary
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If this is any reassurance, I had some DPDR early in my withdrawl but it went away pretty quickly.  It is a terribly uncomfortable symptom and scary.  Hopefully by March you will be feeling more stable.

 

One of the things that I have learned during this process is to stay in the day I am in and not go too far into the future because the future is unknown and it can't be managed today anyway.  Wish I had known that years ago ...

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yes i will be stable i hope. i have super heavy anxiety. for how long you felt dpdr kate? for how long you felt the acute WD?

 

It is hard to answer this because I felt better as my taper got lower.  For me healing wss a very gradual thing.

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PlatoonLeader, I have read a number of your posts and I fully understand what you are going through. I believe there is no definitive answer as to how long or even if your symptoms will ever completely cease to exist. The symptoms you've described are not uncommon for people who cease using the psychotropic medications shown in your signature lines.

 

I'm hopeful for you that your symptoms will diminish and become manageable. I'm also hopeful you will not give up in your attempts to recover from your symptoms. I know many regular and special forces personnel who were prescribed psychotropic medications while serving and then went on to lead happy and successful lives upon leaving the armed forces.

 

Based upon your description of what you are currently experiencing and based upon what you've described as being an active member of an armed reserve military unit, I would ask myself whether I am currently able to perform the duties and make the decisions that may be required of me if I were called upon to reactivate or even safely participate in military drills/Unit Training Assemblies. Your safety and the safety of others should be carefully considered. 

 

Please don't take this as a criticism but rather please accept it as a well meaning question that I believe you should ask yourself.

 

I hope you will recover from your symptoms soon.

 

Sincere Best Wishes

 

 

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Yes, I understand. The symptoms you've decribed are not uncommon when decreasing or stopping the use of those medications. Personally, I would try to develop a plan B before reporting to service in March, if you are still experiencing your symptoms at that time. On a personal note and something you might want to include in your decision making is: if you decide to reinstate you should consider the amount of time that passes since you stopped using the medication (January 7, 2022?) vs. the amount of time that passes before actually re-instating it. Some refer to this period of time as a window, like a window of opportunity. For example: if I remember correctly, the longest I refrained from using the medication before I re-instated using it was about 6 weeks. After that re-instatement (and a cross-over from Valium to Xanax) it took several months (perhaps 6 or so) before I performed as well physically and cognitively as I did before I ceased using it. Where-as; when I re-instated after a short period of time (about 5 days) after ceasing the use of Xanax, it took only a few days or weeks before I was able to function as well as I did before ceasing it's use. If what I referred to as a window of opportunity actually exists, it the amount of time likely would be different for everyone. 
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i understand. but reinstating would be very bad in my case. im 2 week free of benzos. i feel deeply deppressed. it would be better if i take antidepressants or anything else? maybe experiences with these things? benzos make me very drowsy and hell deppressed i sleep only when i take them. i just cant endure the side effects of benzos. they made me very blank minded. maybe AD treatment in this case?
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i accept any advice. but reinstating isn't an option for me. anything else can make me sleep is good except benzos. im in brain fog,i can able to do drills and exercises. i get less adrenaline rushes by day to day. the DPDR is weird still, i need to get some weight back because i lost a lot of muscles and bone density and my legs are so weak atm. need to take something to regain the weight. any advice? i feel better day to day but need something to feel better
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I agree with your decision not to reinstate, your use of the drugs was short and from what I understand you did not tolerate them well, personally I don't feel you need a plan B.  I've seen a lot of improvement in you just since you joined the forum and expect the improvements to continue.  I believe that even if you still have symptoms when you do your hard drills in March that you'll be able to manage them because you've learned so much about what this is and how to deal with it.  In just a few short days I've seen you use your tools to get through this, I believe you're on the right path.

 

You didn't answer my question on another thread, are you eating as much as you used to?  Why would you be losing weight, I question whether you've actually lost bone density in this short amount of time, this may be the fear benzo's heap on us making you think this way.

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Hey Pam,yes i eat a lot. even foods with high triptophan. honestly,my Girlfriend was the motivation behind the CT. the doctor told me that first,but i didnt wanted to do. but my GF forced me,and i almost died. i can tolerate the sxs well. the weight loss is my biggest concern. i learned every sx is just an illusion. i had a big panic attack,and i did massive intensive exercise beyond my limits,and that was a miracle. i need to put up weight. maybe doing AD's can help? with my sleep also,need your advice pam. i will never take benzos. i survived 18-19days without it and feel better without them. i have occasional neck twitches,head twitches. but thats because of the anxiety i think. need your advice,what to take and what not to take.
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i dont wanna lie,first week i had crazy thoughts but it lasted just 1 weeks. i respect and admire you Pam,i think im feeling better day to day and without benzos real life can begin. everyday i feel i'm coming back. just need a little time.

 

Edit: Content

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I think you're coming back too so I'm not sure why you feel the need to add more drugs.  Were you chronically depressed before you went on benzo's, is this why you're considering adding an A/D?

 

If you're worried about your weight loss it would probably be a better idea to add in high calorie foods or protein drinks instead of looking to a chemical that will alter your brain chemistry.

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i eat like a pig,and still loosing weight suddenly. i think i was deppressed before but not much,but fairly enough to get on with the life
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I know for me, the DP and DR and the underneath burning skin sensations were probably the 1st two sxs to leave after they CT'd me in 2006 from K. Some of the other stuff did linger however. I was in the Navy for 4 years PlatoonLeader but when I was in, I had no anxiety problems and I was on no Rx drugs. After I got out, I found a job in the civilian world working for a giant fortune 500 Co. I had been there almost 2 years before I started feeling bad with a vague pain in my chest and just a general anxious feeling all the time. Things kept getting worse and worse and eventually culminated in my 1st panic attack after going to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. This was my 1st introduction to benzos. I was then started on xanax. Knowing what I know now, I would have never taken this drug long-term. There was really no internet for the masses in the mid to late 80s and no informed consent was given to me by the pdoc. I was simply told you will need to take this xanax for the remainder of your life bc PD is a chronic lifelong disorder.

 

I do agree with what some of the others have told you. I would not attempt reinstatement. I know it is hard day after day having to endure these awful sxs but it is not all in vain. The body has a remarkable capacity to repair things that have been broken by benzos so to speak but you have to give it time. Keep coming here talking to others and vent if you need to.

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You just CT earlier this month if I am reading correctly. You are early in this - I suspect the Benzo withdrawal brain is fueling this fear. I also don't think reinstating is a good idea but this is your body and your brain. I know for me one I was done with the final pill nothing and no one could ever get me to go back on this stuff. I did the equivalent of a CT as well. I am 9 months from that and things do get better.  It was really really rough for me in the beginning. I could not leave the house or have the ringer on my phone turned on. Cancelling a medical appt over the phone? forget it. It sounds to me like you are way ahead of that.

 

It might not go as fast as we would like but the brain is up there healing itself as we type. It really is. Just hang in there. All you have to do is survive this. I know you can. If you are in the military it might be helpful to think of this as gearing up to do battle. And prepare accordingly. You can do this!

 

PS- My dad is a retired Lt. Col. in the Army. He jumped out of planes at age 40, the oldest one in his group. If you are in the military, you are probably tougher than you think you are. We are rooting for you!

One day this will be a faded memory. You will even eventually forget how bad this feels.

 

Have you read this article? It really helped me a lot to read over and over again. It gave me hope.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=232042.0

 

 

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thanks for the inspiration guys! my biggest problem is the weight loss,i can handle every awful dreadful sxs. but the weight loss isn't ok for me. this is the 18.day without benzos. and the first two weeks was PURE AGONY AND HELL, now im walking in the purgatory,need to pay for my non existens sins i guess? its a devilish circle and you need to endure it. reinstation isn't an option and never was for me,benzos almost killed me,why i would take them and put myself to the devilish circle again. there are 2 options left,i die/i survive. i will NEVER GO TO PSYCH WARD OR ER because of this. even if i get 200 panic attacks/day. i lock myself up,i force myself to eat high cal foods and wait. i do exercise.
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i had also no problem with anything when i was in active duty,and when i first enlisted. i wanted to leave the army but got invited to the reservists and i accepted,have a contract. and i recognized that the military is my life the only thing what i life for. so im just very affraid if i get discharged because of these banal reasons.
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The weight loss will also stabilize. I lost some weight in the beginning and now have to be careful again with eating.

 

If you have sudden unexplained weight loss, it can be helpful to get checked out by a doctor to put your mind at rest, but since this started as you got off the benzos, it is likely related.

 

There are other posts on weight loss and gain on this forum. You can use the search box on the upper right hand portion of this page to find others' experiences.

 

 

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its a secret. the army is the meaning of life for me. even if im dying. i'll keep fighting.

 

I just want to provide you with some links to resources, if you desire to utilize them:

 

a) Military One Source, "MENTAL HEALTH – RESOURCES"

https://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/mental-health/mental-health-resources/

 

b) Department of Defense INSTRUCTION

September 26, 2011 Incorporating Change 2, Effective April 3, 2020

 

"SUBJECT: DoD Patient Bill of Rights and Responsibilities in the Military Health System (MHS)"

https://www.esd.whs.mil/Portals/54/Documents/DD/issuances/dodi/600014p.pdf?ver=2020-04-03-132320-747

 

"If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact the Military Crisis Line at 800-273-8255, then press 1, or access online chat by texting to 838255."

 

Again, Sincere Best Wishes

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