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Withdrawal from (irregular dosage) Oxazepam (serax)/substitution - advice needed


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Quick update: unfortunately I didn't stabilize this time. For 2 days after the crash I felt OK and I was back on 2mg Diazepam, but then it hit me again (whilst being on Diazepam). I am so tired and I cannot fight it anymore. It's simply too much at this moment. I am going to take AD to make my life easier hopefully. Once I feel stable for a few months I will try again but for now even benzo's don't stabilize me anymore. I think the problem is not so much benzo related anymore but I have developed a fear for the night and a depression due to the withdrawal symptoms. I will update this post in a while , for now fingers crossed AD will give some relief
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I'm glad you let us know what is going on sann and I hope the AD gives you some relief.  I certainly can understand your fear of the night - I had it also because I had so much trouble sleeping.  I finally started taking a tiny dose of trazodone at bedtime and I think it really helped me over the hump of insomnia.

 

Stay in touch and hope you feel better soon.

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Thanks Kate! Are you still on Trazodone or also succesfully stopped taking that? Not sure if Trazadone classifies as an A/D but I hear stopping A/D is a bit easier then benzo's but can still be tough. Did you have any side effects in the first few weeks when starting trazodone? My biggest fear of starting A/D is the first few weeks where it might make me even more unstable and anxious. Also I heard a lot of people need to try like 3 types of A/D before they have the right one that works. Btw, I'm feeling a bit more stable right now. Far from good, but managable.. Had to updose quite a bit though
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Trazodone is an antidepressant but it is used more as a sleep aid now because of it's sedative properties.  Yes, I am still using it at bedtime - I only take 12.5mg which is a tiny dose.  I don't think I really need it any longer and am considering letting it go.  At a dose that small I would only taper it for a few days if at all.

 

I did not have any side effects from it but I was terribly afraid of it.  I got the Rx filled and then didn't take it for a month or two!  The help I got from it for insomnia was likely more psychological than physical but whatever the case, I think it helped me over the insomnia hump.

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Ok, thanks! I am feeling like I am stabelizing at the moment, luckily. Still not on A/D. Will see how it goes, if I continue to improve I am going to try taper again but at a much slower rate with liquid tapering.
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Ok, thanks! I am feeling like I am stabelizing at the moment, luckily. Still not on A/D. Will see how it goes, if I continue to improve I am going to try taper again but at a much slower rate with liquid tapering.

 

So glad to hear you are in a good space at the moment sann.  As long as you have enough benzos to do it, you can go as slow as suits you.  :thumbsup:

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Hi Kate, just one more question, did your insomnia sometimes result in panick/anxiety attacks? And did the AD help with that because of the sedative effect?

Thanks so much for all the help that you and Pamster have provided <3 <3

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Hi Kate, just one more question, did your insomnia sometimes result in panick/anxiety attacks? And did the AD help with that because of the sedative effect?

Thanks so much for all the help that you and Pamster have provided <3 <3

 

sann, most of the anxiety and panic I had went away as I tapered and got off benzos.  I realized that the benzos I had been taking for anxiety had not only quit working, they were actually causing the anxiety that I had been taking them for.  I get the odd restlessness now but any anxiety I have is a drop in the bucket compared to the awful anxiety I was experiencing on benzos the last few years I took them.

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Thanks. Yeah, everything got better for me while tapering as well the last time. Untill the jump. Right now I am so unstable and I am taking quite a bit of Diazepam. I know I shouldn't, but it gives some relief. This drug is so crazy, it makes you crazy but at the same time I go crazy without it.. I am trying to stabilize and find a balance but it's hard. Appointment with doc this afternoon to discuss A/D and to see if I can get some kind of priority in the mental help queue (already on the waiting list for 2 months, it's crazy here you can't get help within a few months because they are too busy)
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Are you keeping track of the amount of Diazepam you're taking, this information is important if you want to resume tapering at some point.
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Yes I am.

 

Since I remained highly unstable I am now trying to stabelize on 2mg diazepam, 3 times a day (so 6mg a day total). It's a huge setback but it is what it is. The last 2 days have been OK so I am hoping dosing 3 times a day will help keep me more stable. Did you dose multiple times a day as well? And did you first taper 1 dose, or all 3 doses at the same time? I am wondering if it would be smart to get back to 1 dose a day first or just taper all the way to zero on all 3 doses at the same time for example remove 0.01mg per dose (so 0.03mg per day). Maybe I can go a bit faster at first since I was already on a low dose before, but I don't want to rush it this time.

 

Furthermore I am trying to accept my anxiety and deal with it when it pops up by doing excersises. This is really hard but I have been told the only way to get out of this is to get in control during an anxiety attack and accept what's happening. For now I am not starting on A/D but trying to get similar results by doing sports, meditation and therapy. I am very scared for my next setback which for sure will happen..

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Sure, I'm glad to help sann and I'll tell you how I did it:  I was on clonazepam and I dosed three times a day initially.  I rotated my reductions every two weeks between the morning, afternoon, and evening doses.  I eventually dropped the morning dose, then the afternoon dose, and finally was left the evening dose for the last 2-3 months of my taper.

 

Learning new ways to cope with anxiety is very smart of you.  That occurred to me early in the taper process - that I would not be able to pop a benzo when I felt anxious so I needed to begin to build my toolbox of ways to life life without them.  And you are right, setbacks do happen but I eventually learned that, even though I was not comfortable, I could get through them without pills or alcohol.

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Hi Kate, thanks for the info. I think I am going to reduce all my doses equally. It makes more sense to me to keep the drug levels super equal and steady through the day, especially since I think I might have had interdose withdrawal. But I think either way will probably work, as long as you take it as slow as your mind and body requires.

 

I am feeling much better the past 2 days. I hope I can hold on to this and when darker days come I hope I can cope with it without needing more benzos or A/D. Super glad to read you got to manage the anxiety and so grateful for the replies of you and Pamster here. Has been really helpful and I am starting with therapy this week as well here (EMT and cognitive behavioral therapy) so building my toolbox as well.

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I'm happy to hear you're feeling a bit better, this is quite a ride isn't it?  No wonder so many of our members get labeled with all sorts of mental conditions.  :crazy:

 

Good to see you packing that toolbox.  :thumbsup:

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  • 1 month later...

Quick update for anyone reading this now or in the future.

 

It's been quite tough the past couple months. I had developed an anxiety disorder (I guess this could be the case for lots of benzo users because of the anxiety withdrawal can put you through). At some point it was clear to me that my panic and anxiety attacks were not anymore just related to withdrawal.

 

I have been getting mental help by a great psych. She really helped me understand anxiety and realize that the thoughts and feelings that occur during anxiety are a normal reaction. She helped me so much with things like EMDR therapy, creating distance from my thoughts, tips on how to deal with panic attacks, etc. In the end what really helped me was accepting the situation, not fighting it. Not be afraid of it, just accept that it happens and let it come and go. This is much easier said then done and is a process, but I am now at a point where I feel like I am not controlled by fear and anxiety anymore. Instead, I am feeling more and more in control, even though I still have anxiety!

 

Now I am not this afraid anymore for the anxiety I feel like it's getting better as well. I can live my live, maybe with some bad days but I know I will recover and can actually enjoy life again. The past 3 or 4 weeks have been really good actually. Almost no anxiety. I am also daily micro tapering my Diazepam, I am now back to 0.5mg in the morning and 0.5mg in the evening so that's going well. The micro tapering helps a lot, I basically have no withdrawal anymore. Sometimes very mild, but it's nothing compared to when I was making weekly cuts (even if the cuts seemed so small).

 

I will post one more update once I am completely off the benzo's. For anyone reading this and dealing with anxiety or panic attacks during withdrawal/tapering, I guess a good therapist can really help and you can get out of it. It did for me and I have had some really dark days where I felt it only got worse and I would never get out of it! Of course I am not cheering yet, there is still some tapering to go, still some steps to take. But it feels so different now and I am sure I will be benzo free very soon. 

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I'm so glad to hear you are doing well sann.  It is smart of you to further your toolbox to deal with anxiety and life as you taper off benzos.  When we have some ways to understand and deal with the problems that plague us like anxiety, they lost their power over us.

 

Thank you for the update!

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Your post gave me a feeling of peace saan, thank you.  It was just what I needed to read this morning, I'm so impressed with you and how you're managing not only your taper but your life.  :thumbsup:
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